Rolan D’mello: One of the hardworking, risk taking, good reader, carrier oriented, food loving guy , humorous guy I ever know. When first time I had seen him in the school I knew it “this one is not ordinary one”. Degrees he obtained are too many to mention!!B.E, MBa, MS and so many certifications I hardly remember. He keeps on updating his CPU(brain) every now and then. He loves to do things in his own way more efficiently and innovatively. He is WEB designer as well as APP developer. If any of you wants to avail above mentioned service please contact me not him. He had showed me the biscuit of goodies if I act as an intermediate. Most important part “Did I mention he is still single!! “
Thank you Rolan D’mello for giving me this platinum opportunity to publish your work. Thanks a ton. Hope to see you in my blog as much as possible
After hours and hours of thinking and years of experience of meeting people and seeing a number of relationship, both mine and others, here’s a compilation of wisdom which I believe would helpful to you blokes and blokettes out there :P .
Now, I’m no pro at this nor am I a God of small or big things, and I’m definitely no “Hitch“, but I believe there are a lot of things people can always learn and things which can be helpful.
So, in no context is this a manual for dating, relationships, marriage or sex. But rather, consider it as another addition to the way of the old but with a slight twist and personal experience. :)
So here goes….
Pre-Dating and Dating, do’s and don’ts :
Starting with tips for guys:
You are a single guy, been in wait for a lovely woman, your one and only. You are a decent guy, good manners, well behaved, but haven’t been able to find your one and only. You are sitting at a coffee shop alone waiting for your coffee and right across you, seated is a beautiful lady, beautiful eyes, lovely lips, long dark hair, cute smile and everything you’ve ever wanted in a woman. But you know, you could never talk to her, and start thinking to yourself, she’s too hot, way out of my league so you just leave it be, and just fantasize about meeting such a girl. She looks across at you, sizing you up from afar, and then gets back to what she is doing. You are in shock thinking, what happened? Why did she look at me. And then she looks at you again. This goes on for quite some time, and then she leaves, leaving you puzzles.
Guys, and girls, this is a lost chance, you could have just gone upto her and said the best line there ever was and that’s ‘Hi, my name is bla bla bla, I noticed you sitting across alone, would you like me to join you?’
But no, you chose to fantasize and think, damn, she’s too hot for me and let it go. If you just had tried that line, she might have even asked to go ahead and join her considering that you are decent guy, not creepy and have a nice smile while saying it.
Even if she told you no, you could have said, ok, have a nice day and walked away. At least you tried and it didn’t kill you.
Well, that’s one. Never let go of an opportunity. You never know what might happen. Take a chance once in a while.
Now say, you already have a girl in mind, say a cute girl at office or a friend of a friend or someone you met a party or something, don’t sit on it and wait for a miracle to happen. Go, talk to her, don’t go nuts and start complimenting all of a sudden. Be nice, be fun, be yourself unless you are an idiot, then don’t be yourself. Be confident, don’t ever be a pussy and chicken out if she says something. And don’t do the cocky attitude thing, no one likes that even if a lot of your friends tell that or even if magazines tell that. Know your manners, play with words, enjoy the company, and if you are not serious about knowing the girl, then don’t even go and talk to her because you don’t deserve to know her!!! This is only for serious people!
Once you get talking to her, if you love the company talk to her some more, get her number and leave at the end of the conversation. Don’t linger around too much, sometimes looks like desperation unless she’s lingering around too ;).
Once you go home, don’t start pestering her with calls and messages and look like a frigging phone psycho. Just leave a nice message saying that it was fun talking to you. And if she replies with something nice, great! You are ready for the next part.
Let a day go by, and you could start off with a message. If she doesn’t reply, don’t pester with multiple messages, just wait. And then the next day you can follow up with a call. When you message or call, follow up with her pace, don’t go too fast, or too slow. Don’t talk too much, but don’t shut up either, try matching with her. Know that when you are out of topics to talk, that you need to divert attention and tell her that you need to go and will catch up soon.
Make a play of words, don’t always talk boring stuff, and talk about yourself, her and everything around. Listen. The key word here is LISTEN. Listening gets you more closer to the heart than talking. Don’t interrupt, listen carefully to what she says, hear her out. You don’t need to be a problem solver, just a listener, and don’t dare fake it! Its worse than not listening at all. Be honest about what you say.
[More to come in part 2 :D]
Grooming for guys:
Always be presentable, love could be waiting anywhere!!
You don’t have to be overtly fashionable, but having a good sense of dressing can take you a long way.
In office, if you have to wear formals, see to it that you wear complementing tones, e.g. vertical striped shirts with vertical striped pants or plain pants and vice versa.
Don’t ever wear anything too bright, i’ve seen people wearing florescent coloured shirts and pants. DON’T!! You aren’t a firefly, light pleasing colours which complement each other are best.
Classics, black and white never fail and neither do black and blue nor blue and white.
For casuals, nice fitting jeans ( not the tight ones ) and a nice tee shirt or a nice shirt for semi-casual does good.
Always see to it that the clothes fit, shoulder stitch close to the shoulder. Sleeves at the wrist, pants not too tight or too lose. These are the basics.
Nicely combed hair, or messy, as long as you have messed it up looks good. A clean shave or a light stubble is good, don’t go full on mountain bear or patchy beard, that’s just too careless.
Nails nicely cut, a good bath, and a good deodorant or a whiff of perfume ( don’t spray too much or you’ll end up being a stink bug ). Yeah, the ladies don’t like too much odour.
Grooming for ladies:
I won’t comment anything on this, since I’m a guy, but trust me, the same thing that goes for guys works for girls as well, well-fitting goes a long way.
To be Continued…..