Love…Hatred….& My Poem

Madly in Love(part 1)

Days seems to be ages

When I don’t see you around

Every minute, every second

I get lost in your world

thinking about you and only you

What you have done to my heart

Tell me, Oh please tell me

Will I ever be the same?

There was time when I used to laugh

Seeing the lovers hiding behind the old oak tree

Didn’t realize “Love” is worse than cancer

Now I suffer with pain and distress

You stole my heart with

Your charm and simplicity

I miss warmth of your arms

Where I belong for eternity

Will you love me as I love you?

After Break UP(part 2)

I was alone and happy

Ass H.. made me go crazy

I lost my self, my valet everything to you

You are cursed nobody can be happy with you

Petrol prize I didn’t care

Shopping bill increased I didn’t care

At the end when you gave me clean chit and escaped

Damn it Bit%%% I did care

I am not a puppet to please you

I am a Human with heart trying to survive

I dont smile anymore , I don’t know how to smile anymore

You stood there and laughed

When my heart was broken into pieces

Like glass pieces often found near accident spot in mlore

My friends were my strength

When i repeated my  love story 100times with Jhony Walker

Never appear in front of my eyes

You are like filthy stinking drainage

Dont wanna get infected again!!!!!

i lost myself to you Blue…….chapter10

Do I want to go home? I asked myself. Yes I wanted to go, I wanted to hug my dad and cry on his shoulder. I wanted to tell my dad what those mongrels did to me. All I wanted was to keep my head in my dads lap and sleep peacefully. Peace!! What is that I don’t know the meaning any more. Many times I get nightmares of those Mongrels . I lost the count how many times I have to cool myself. Whenever I remember the bad incident my veins boil for vengeance. How I want to take revenge on them. I looked at Rall. He opened his eyes and was trying to sit. I helped him and gave some water to drink. I thought I should inform Caleb. I went on search of Caleb and found him on the deck. He was there standing facing his father. His back was towards me. He was saying “Father, I had made arrangements for the lady to return.  By tomorrow she will be on her way”. His father stared at me with more worry. Caleb sensed my presence and turned towards me. He said “is the buy alright? he need anything? talk”. I said “hes awake. Sorry to interrupt you. Thought I should inform you….”. Caleb went downstairs before I could complete my sentence. Then for the first I saw some trees. I thought my departure is near. Caleb’s father said “Gal, don’t lose hope. Your father will be delighted to see you. Try to forget everything thinking it’s a tragedy..”. I said “Till I die I cant forget. The print of those mongrels is saved in my heart.”. He stared at me. He closed the distance and touched my head and said “Allah has its own way of loving his people..” I said “Sir please talk anything other than god. I don’t believe in talking about someone who does not even exist”.  I looked in to sky and said to myself “god who the Fu%^& is he? i don’t know anyone named that guy”

I looked at the blur trees. With passing every minute the image became clearer. I stared to walk towards my room. I stood outside the door when I heard Rall saying “she was frightened I fought but he was too big for me. Then she started to fight with him to save me….Sorry I couldn’t meet up to your expectations. Caleb said “I don’t want to hear about it. I was here at the right time that’s all matters.” I knocked the door and let them know my presence. Caleb looked worried. He said “evening will reach home. Late night one of my men will take you to nearest port and then he will drop you to the airport. Passport, air-ticket is taken care. Don’t worry everything will be alright from here”. I looked at Rall who wanted to tell something but kept quiet when he saw his master. I said “is that ok if I stay till Rall gets better”. Caleb said sharply “We are going home and Aleeba will be there to take care of him. You don’t worry about him. It will be good if you leave as soon as possible”.

So Caleb wanted to chase me. My heart missed its beat. At least for few days he would have let me stay. My heart was blooming whenever he was near. May be he doesn’t feel that way. My heart, my feelings, my wounds is my problem. Even though my heart will bleed I decided to take care of it in my own way.

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I knew it she will be safe with the boy. But I didn’t expected those cannibals to attack us so soon. He was sure that in near future they gonna attack them again no matter what. But he wanted zoovy to be away far away from sea, his home and his heart. He knew his heart danced whenever he looked at her. He had met many women in the past. Some were gorgeous, seducing and charming. But Zoovy looked outstanding among them. She had something within her which attracted him to her. When he saw her being crushed by the tall, filthy Bas&*& all he wanted was to kill him right there. There she stood crying in the hand of the wicked. When he couldn’t see her stricken face he had hugged her and consoled her like a small kid. When he hugged her he felt something, something strange. Like she belong in there, in his strong arms, which scared him to the core. He had his responsibilities, his clan and his people. He can’t let his heart be troubled by a woman. That’s why he decided to send her away as soon as possible. How he wanted to protect her from the world and keep her happy. He still remembers in which condition she was there when he laid his eyes on her for the first time.

When he walked away he felt the gaze on him. With every step he took away from her his heart cried in vain. He ignored the pain caused by his heart and with determined mind he walked away to make the arrangements for the departure of the woman he started to like

Like a stricken kitten I found you,

With heavy heart I am sending you

Be happy my love

No matter what I will always remember you 

Finally Zoovy going home???Caleb will let the woman of his life go that easily???

(Ohhh i didnt realize day by day story is getting bigger and bigger mean to say lengthy.  did i make mistake starting a novel??)

i lost myself to you Blue…….chapter9

I was still frightened and scared of the event occurred in front of my eyes. When I saw Rall I knew it I have to attend him. I told Caleb to carry him to my bed. I saw his wound. It badly needed some stitches. I started to clean the wound with a clean cloth. Caleb said “We cant reach shore till the evening. Wonder how I will stop the bleeding”. As I didn’t want to waste time explain my occupation I said “get me some more clean sheets and a needle”.

When Caleb came back with the things I mentioned his father had accompanied him. I said “ I am a nurse and I can handle. Don’t worry nothing can happen to Rall”. I started to stitch his wound with my study hand. As Rall was sleeping he didn’t feel the pain. Once his wound was bandaged I told the father and son that I will take care of Rall and they left with a worry on their face.

I was seated on nearby chair. I checked on Rall. As his breath was steady I felt he is out of danger. I don’t know when I dozed off on my chair. When I got up I found myself covered in a warm rug. I looked around and found Caleb pacing the floor. As I got up from my chair and started walk towards him. I said “he is out of danger”. Caleb stopped and said “I wont rest until he opens his eyes. He is my responsibility”. I said nothing. I looked at Rall who was sleeping soundlessly not knowing how many people are really worried about him. I said “I want to thank you again for saving my life. If you didn’t show up on time then I don’t know what would have happen”. I could see Caleb’s jaws tightening. It was obvious that he was angry. He didn’t say he just stared at the empty space.

When I started to walk he said ”as soon as we reach shore I will make arrangements so that you can go back to your home. they might attack us in near future. I dont want to take risk. So by tomorrow you will be with your dear ones. Its not safe to be with us and on sea”. I didn’t know what to say. I stood there motionless still digesting the word while Caleb looked at me with for the final time and left me alone with sleeping Rall

Back to my home…to my dad. is that what i want? i asked myself.

Finally Zoovy meet her dad?Theres not a thing between Caleb and Zoovy??

 

(working whole day rarely i can see the keys on my laptop. Neuron almost stopped working…wonder how i will finish the story)

i lost myself to you Blue…….chapter8

Asking Rall was unnecessary as I heard heavy gun fire. Rall held my hand took me near the bed and said “nothing gonna happen to you. I will protect you with my last breath”. My eyes filled with tears. I looked at his small face and said “I know Rall you will never let anyone harm me. I trust you”. He said “those cannibals have attacked us. As we are un-prepared they are taking the advantage. But you don’t worry, my master is unbeatable”. I felt my senses go numb when I heard about it. Seeing those cannibals alive and un-punished, my blood boiled.

Before I could say anything the tall cannibal who had given me dirty water to drink on that ship appeared on the door way. He smiled when he saw me and said “so, my honey bee is here. You know we all missed you. My master is waiting to have you back. So come on honey, don’t make me kill this young lad”. I was so scared that I didn’t realize that I was clutching Ralls arm tightly. Rall pull me to his side protectively and whispered in my ear “don’t  fear, he cant even touch me”. I held him more tightly because I know a young boy cant stand for long in front of 6 feet tall, strong guy. I replied “Rall I don’t wanna lose you. He gonna kill you like how they killed my dog and Sam. You run for your life. I can protect myself”. Rall pushed me aside and took few steps towards the cannibal. He took his knife and said “you know, your are a monster, attacking lone woman is all you can do…..”. Before Rall could finish his sentence Cannibal’s strong fist touched Ralls cheek. I knew it that rall was in pain but he didn’t show any signs of it. Before Rall could regain his balance Cannibal attacked him with his sword. Rall cried with pain. I ran to Rall and saw his wound. Rall was holding his both hands to his wound. I thought 3 or 4 stiches might require. He was bleeding, he needed urgent treatment. I didn’t wanted to loos Rall so I took the Ralls sword which was lying beside him and said to the cannibal “you will rot in hell you B@#$%%”. Cannibal smiled and said “Yeah babes will rot in hell together”. I couldn’t take it anymore. I attacked him with the sword and as anticipated he was able to push me away with his one hand. How I wanted to be 70kg ,6feet WWF wrestler then. I stood up and scanned the surrounding. I knew it I cant fight with that mongrel. The fear of being kidnapped again by those cannibals gave me strength. I held my sword more firmly and looked at the cannibal. Trust me he was all set to fight with me. I took few steps and swung my sword. Before the sword come to its starting position my hand were held and I felt helpless again. How I wanted to kill that Son of B%$$ then. He looked at me with those lustful eyes and said “I love to play with wild cats”. He nestled my neck and said “I love them ,I love them”. I felt 100 needles prick me at the same time. I couldn’t pray or cloudnt call Rall for help. I was helpless.

“Let the lady go……..”. The loud clear icy edge voice broke the silence like a rock. My eyes rested on caleb. How I wanted to hug him then. I smiled at him but he didn’t smile back at me. He just stared at the cannibal and the place where he held me. Cannibal laughed and said “Always protective and caring Caleb”. I was confused. This cannibal knew Caleb. But how? I said “let the lady go free. Don’t make my sword taste your blood”. Mongrel held me more tightly and kissed my cheek and said “else what you will do Caleb? Kill me like you killed your uncle?I like this one and I am not letting her….Before he could finished his sentence bullet from Caleb’s gun entered cannibals skull gracefully. Caleb had taken his gun from his boot within fraction of second. That was a great shot indeed. The hole was not bigger than 50paisa coin between his eye brows.

Cannibal fell to the ground and he let go of me. I stood there watching him. When finally I looked up with my tearful eyes Caleb was standing next to me. I didn’t know who closed the distance. All I know is he was holding me and I was sobbing me. He stroked my hair, my back. He was consoling me like a small kid.

When I regained myself I moved away and ran towards Rall. He was closing his eyelids slowly. He touched my cheek and said “I told you right, my master is unbeatable”. Before anybody could say anything. Rall closed his eyes and drifted to sleep

Rall closed his eyes never to open again????Will Zoovy will save Rall?Caleb is attracted to Zoovy like Zoovy is attracted to him???

(story taking U turn or V i dodnt know. All i know is i have to read previous chapters to remember the names and story)

i lost myself to you Blue…….chapter7

I didn’t expect that incredible hunk to guard me. When i got up from my sleep crying i expected  to be alone. But that breath taking man proved me wrong. When he had touched me i could feel the 100V running through my veins.  I knew it whatever I am feeling for him is not right. I should not feel that way.  After what happened with me, I cant imagine liking man spices. But something was different about this guy. He looked humble and strong. After all he is the one who saved me from those cannibals. When he spoke politely I knew it he is like a magnet and I am attracted to him like iron rod. I had to count 1-100 to be normal. When he had walked away i felt light of my life walking away. I never understood why I held his hand and stopped him. Again i felt my veins going numb. When i felt I am burning in his touch, I let his hand go.

Now I was standing in front of him. He was tall and  I  was reaching his chest. I wanted to giggle when I realized its his rob i was wearing. How i wanted to listen to his heart beat then. My hands itch to touch his hair which was fallen on his forehead.  In other circumstance i would have done anything to own this guy. But now I can’t dream of things which are not possible. I  had asked his name and the place. When he paused i thought he never gonna answer my question. But then he had said it “Caleb”. It sounded so right. I repeated in my mind “CALEB”. I was looking at him hoping he will answer my second question but he paused again. I assumed may be he doesn’t want to answer that question. Then he had said “he is a pirate”. If I was surprised I didn’t show it on my face. I have read it in paper how pirates used to hijack the ship and ask ransom.        I just looked at him whit curiosity in my eyes. Never in my wildest dream I thought I will meet the pirates. So the guy who saved me is a pirate.  Should I be scared? I don’t know. I don’t have anything to lose. In fact I am ready to die I don’t have any interest in life.

When I was staring at him he started to walk, I said “wonder why you saved me, you could have let me die there”. He said it cruelly “we are humans lady. We just grab few bits from rich b%$# and enjoy. We never take advantage of helpless woman”. Yeah that’s what I am “helpless woman”. How I wanted to correct him. Before I could say anything Rall rushed in and said “you are needed on the deck”. Caleb said “You will stay with her.” He gave him his gun and said “I know you will take care of both both of you”.

Before I could say something he was gone. I felt sick. I looked at Ralls horrified face and knew it then something is wrong.

Is Zoovy gonna regret being saved?what happened on the deck???

(Boom boom boom i am scratching my ass sorry head…..wht should happen next??)

i lost myself to you Blue…….chapter6

He saw the sleeping gal in his arms. His hands itched to touch her hair. When first time he had seen her on those cannibals boat he didn’t know what to do. His heart cried seeing her cloth less body and blood stained face. Even though he didn’t knew her he had given orders to take care of her. He knew it what had happened to her. Explanation was unnecessary. When he had seen the wounds in her body he boiled with anger. Sometimes human being can be the worst animal in the world. How he wanted to kill those son-of-bi$$$ then. Without saying a word He had stitched her wound and cleaned her. A smile appeared on his face when he saw his rob. Even though he is quite big she looked cute in that. Earlier when she was standing on the deck he had seen those beautiful eyes. In his oversize rob she looked lovely and his heart missed his beat. The way she smiled at Raleeba was so charming. He took a deep breath and took her to the bed. He tucked her in the bed and sat on the nearby chair.

Crying sound woke him up. He saw the gal on the bed. She was awake now and was crying. he didn’t like that. He got up from his chair and went near the bed. Slowly he touched her hand. She didn’t move, instead she continued crying. He didn’t know what to do. He stood there for a while. When he thought he cant take it anymore he said “don’t waste your tears. Why cry and waste tears? Save them and make them as your weapon”. Wonder why he said that. She looked him straight into his eyes. She just stared.

Again he saw the pain which was still raw. When he couldn’t take it anymore he said ”I will send Ralleba “ and started to move. She held his hand and looked up. He was force to look at her. She released his hand, got from bed and said “I want to talk to you. I don’t know why you saved me. You should have left me there to die. Anyways thank you for everything.” He said “don’t thank me, thank god”. She said “there’s no god, trust me. Soon even you will realize”. He said “Allah is everywhere; he helps us and protects us”. She said “can we talk something other than god?”. He didn’t say anything. He knew it she already lost the faith in her creator”. She said “whats your name? and who are you?”. He took his time and said “I am Caleb “. He knew it he cant say who he is. When she looked at him expecting a an answer from him he said “I am Somalian and I am a….PIRATE”.

was the breath taking man really a Pirate???is Zoovy safe with them???

(Waht happnes next…..to be honest even i dodnt know:))

i lost myself to you Blue…….chapter5

When I open my eyes after a long time I felt good. I tried to get up. Then I saw Raleeba dozing off in the near by chair. As my legs hit the floor Raleeba got up and said “you want anything? hungry?”. I said “nature call, want to go to toilet”. As I stood I realize my legs were still paining. I took few steps and looked at Raleeba. He understood and came for my aid. He helped to go to toilet. When I saw my reflection in the mirror hung the toilet I felt sick. My hair was a mess, still dirty, scared cheek and swollen eyes. How I hated my reflection. I hit the mirror with my hand. Raleeba came inside and was startled to see my bleeding fist. He just carried me to the bed and bandaged my fist. He didn’t ask me any question. I said “whats your age Ralleba?”.He said “15 years old”. I said “would you mind if I call you Rall?”. He smiled and said “no, call me anything you want”. I told him to sit on the bed, he did as he was told. I touched his shoulder and said “thank you for everything”. He smiled and said “thank my master, he is the one who saved you. I was just following his orders”. I said “but you helped me”. He didn’t say anything. After a while he tucked me to my bed and left. I slept for a while.

When I couldn’t sleep any more I got up from my bed and walked outside. It was bit silent. As the sun has risen I didn’t find difficult to find my way to the deck. Before leaving my cabin I had tried tying my blood stained hair in a knot when couldn’t do anything I left just like that. Few men were there on the deck. They looked surprise to see me in my long rob. When I spotted Rall I smiled at him. He retuned my smile and walked towards me. He said “you need rest, you look tired”. I said “ I am ok, couldn’t sleep anymore so I came out. Where are we?”. He looked the deep blue sky and pointed his finger in direction and said “there, that’s our home, one more day and we are home”. His eyes were dancing with joy. I said “want to meet your master will you take me to him?”. His eyes became serious and focus on something as if they are communication with somebody. He said “He is resting, will take you later. Let me help you to wash your hair”. I smiled and touched his cheek and said “you are such a darling”.

Once he was finished my blood stained hair he left me alone in my cabin. My mind started to recall the incident. Pa, Sam Rex and my home how I missed them all. My life took a “U” turn and within fraction of second everything changed. Few days back I was dreaming of my marriage and now I am thinking of taking my revenge. How I wanted to kill those guys. When I remember the incident on my boat my blood stared to boil and I hit my hand to the near by wall. A tall figure appeared in the door way. He was in his late 60’s.His cloths were somewhat similar to mine. But something about him made me realized that he must be the master Rall was talking about. His eyes were serious and attitude was reflecting on them. He said “Take it easy lady, you will hurt yourself”. With my tearful voice I said “there’s nothing left to get hurt. I am a living corpse”. He looked at me for a while and said “Whatever happens its god’s will”. Tears were rolling down my cheek, I said “there’s no god, if he was there he would have saved me”. He said “see, he saved you?”. I said ”no, you saved me. If he was there he would have helped me when I clade him, prayed to him. There’s no god. Church, cross, god, prayer everything is fake bullshit”. I was boiling now. I said “you shouldn’t have saved me, you should have killed me. I don’t want to live”. He took few more step towards, touched my shoulder and said “Allah listen’s to everyone. Whatever happen’s it happens for our good”. I got stiffen. So I was saved my Muslims. Its not that I hate them but usually they don’t help. I had Muslim friends and I used to ask them about religion. I know many things about Islam religion. I looked straight into his eyes and said “you wouldn’t have said that if your daughter was gang raped “. He stood there for a while and said “you need rest. Once we reach home, I will arrange for you to return to your home. And its my son who saved you not me”. Before I could say anything he had left. “Home” I asked myself whether I want to go home or not? Who is my rescuer?. Zoovy lost in her thoughts so much she didn’t observe a tall, well-built figure move behind her. When she turn back she was shocked to see the man. This man has the similarities to the old man who had come earlier. It took few seconds to realize that this is the master who Roll was talking about. His calm eyes, well-formed cheek bones and broad chest was everything a woman can ask for. He might be 6 feet. Zoovy so much absorbed in watching him that she forgot that he had asked her a question. When Zoovy didn’t utter a word the man repeated his question again this time loudly and clearly “you wanted to talk to me?”.Zoovy held her breath when his rich voice hit her ears. She thought an angel is talking to her. She continued staring at her. When the man took few step towards her she felt like whole earth moving. She felt she need to sit. Before she could take steps she fainted and the tall man held her in his arms. Before Zoovy closed her eyes she captured the beautiful eyes

Will Zoovy go home?will she fall in love with the stanger?

(tell you what writing is difficult. Thought can be a writer bit i was wrong……)