Jog In LALBAGH it is

Posted: February 23, 2015 in My Silly thoughts
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With my bestie’s left for country of sand, oil and sheikhs  I was left alone to wonder how to kill my time. Gone are the crazy time of shopping, scooty rides, house parties, Tequila shots and hangovers. With little option left , I thought its time I started striking out the things I listed in my infamous “To-Do-List”. Owning Rolls-Royce(In my dreams), visiting Scotland(Really!!), Playing Tennis(Dying to play), trek to Himalayas, publishing a book(unusual possibility), falling in love(not in this birth), help somebody to achieve his/her dream,…, with my crazy list I decided I will go for “jog in Lalbagh”. My only sensible thing in To-Do-List.

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I asked my friends would they like to join me to the morning jog. When they got to know hitting Lalbagh (4 KM away from my place ) at 6AM is in my mind they laughed their lungs out. They pointed out the park near my pg and said “that SNL, is your location, first you get up at 7 on Saturday go for jog there then will talk about Lalbagh. I sat on my bean bag and wondering why on earth I asked them. I am independent, working woman, for a person I am, who watches movies alone in theater, goes to shop alone, travels all around bang lore with pepper spray in hand Lalbagh was nothing.I know the fact friends can not be around always. I set the alarm at 6AM on my usual resting day ‘saturday’ , usual rest last till 10AM but that day I was cutting it short.

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Banglore’s chilly morning tempted me to sleep but something may be the forces around me made me get dressed and buckle up. 6.30 I was there waiting for my usual, favorite ride BIA, with puma on and jacket zipped till my throat and water bottle in hand. When I got into bus, plane lovers gave me one of those weird look. While everybody travelling to catch their plane i was there travelling to jog in Lalbagh. Crazy things i know!!
As soon I entered the gate of Lalabagh I put my head phones on and started to jog. When you don’t have anybody with you, music keeps you company.With all the morning walkers it looked like bird santuary for me. With all excitement I started to jog. It was not even 5 minutes,there I was breathless and panting for breath cursing myself from where I got this crazy idea. Food? hormones?environment or just time I wondered. I took a small break just after 5 minutes of my jog. Thanks to 9 to 6 office work for all tiredness

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I picked my speed and started to jog with rhythm of the music flowing in my ears. I saw the yoga group lying on bed and doing shavasana and i was tempted. I smiled when i realized the guy who was teaching Yoga was busy watching gals passing by. Men are always men!!!.When I saw those lifeless Roses in rose garden I felt sorry for them. Never realized even roses can be malnutritioned  Then I saw people bowing their heads to the ruler of day ,with folded hand. We humans do have sentiments attached with everything. Plants, planet, trees, moon, sun stars. Then i saw a lady in her tight fit hot pants and long legs. I dont know whether shes gaining anything from her morning jog but I was sure she motivates all men to follow her on their toes. Street dogs were waging their tail when they saw their friend with biscuit in hand. Couples were busy posing for their wedding album or profile picture. Pigeons were dancing with their own tune while picking the grains from the ground. Never in a single minute I felt alone. After jogging,walking and resting for 1 hour I stood there watching the sparkling sun’s reflection in water. I felt placid, not even weekend work call could have changed my mood .

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Don’t let lack of goals in life demotivate you from enjoying your life. Sit and list out the crazy things which you want to do in this life time. It can be anything making love under shining stars, or having 7 kingdom in monkey bar, asking a guy out or ride Harley Davidson. whats life without little bit crazy “To-Do-List”

When First month of New Year rolls with grace we all embrace second month with heart filled with love and joy. Not because it had deformity of lesser days but because of it has this special day.

With Fifty shades of grey’s promising poster hung high, bloody red hearts ruling all shops, red lingerie flaunt its own beauty. From John Legends “all of me” to Bryan Adams “Look into my eyes” with heart throbbing love messages dedicated over radio are enough to tempt you to change your status just for one day.  Who doesn’t like to be loved, pampered and showered with flowers and gifts.  I don’t know about men but every woman secretly wishes to have a lover who loves her unconditionally without any limits. We human no matter how defiled are, love is the one thing which melts any thugs heart and makes any wicked women’s knee go week. Love is to be blamed for many heart breaks and depression, suicide and crime. One can never have enough of love. Lucky ones get it, unlucky one loose it, remaining few bargain it for the things they feel are important than love.

With expensive gift wrapped in gift box, double priced flowers tied together, reserved candle light table in famous restaurant, fancy lacy lingerie might help you to get into your partners pants, promised orgasmic panting night (before marriage). But will it ensure you selfless, meaningful, everlasting love? May be few handful ones marry the one with whom they would have spent the special day for years, rest are just torn pages of history. Sometimes a silent stroll on beach (park in case of cities:)), few lines of poetry, long run lover letters are more than enough to express your love. Renew your vows to love another, in poverty and wealth, In pub and church, while sleeping and awakening, in health and disease. Why limit your love, gifts, pampering only for one day while you have rest 364 days?

My special note for Singles: I know it’s hard to be single especially on Valentine’s day. Jealousy seeing the gifts, migraine listening to love songs, sulking seeing the couple holding hand…in spite of this I tell you, you are still the lucky one. You can still do anything, anytime with anyone anywhere. Consider yourself happy because you are still the boss. Open a bottle of wine or vodka and get drunk, envy your committed friends, curse the St.Valentine and pray that by next year cupid would have aimed its arrow in your direction.

I don’t care much of Valentines day, Its just another day with its own worries and buries. Some heartbroken saint told the world to celebrate the day as lover’s day. If he would have anticipated the increased flower business and free marriage warning from culture protectors, Saint would have reconsider his wish. Wish you all happy Valentines day, Spread Love valentine-roses

I basically come from a place where some people still use their thump for signature, legs to reach their destination, their sweat to earn money, patience to swallow the injustice of any crap system. No matter how developed cities are with big fancy ring roads and electronised process, towns are still same with crowded bank and post office.

During Christmas vacation I had been to this bank to invest the money, not my money but the money I borrowed from my mother to escape from Income Tax, so practically it became my mothers money:). I was bit taken to see the AC room with puffy chair and a young security guard in uniform. I asked myself “when this happened?where did the fan go?”. I couldn’t stop looking at the young security clad in uniform. You see most of the security guards are old, sometimes i wonder in case of robbery whether we have to run or save the security guard. With the thousands wrinkles on their face, worn out skin, countable bones i don’t think they are fit to take any blows.

As I approached the cashier with all the stares on my 3/4 and streaked hair, my head held high i said “”, before i could open my mouth the lady cashier gave me one of her deadly look and said “follow the queue”. Then i realized why the stares on me, i was the queue breaker. With all my balloon air gone i sat there in those puffy chair, and followed the queue like musical chair. People came, time passed more people came but nobody left.

Cashier lady got some old chap to flirt, with her cheeks deepened with red, Jasmine flower on her head swinging along her head i just sat and stared. Its been ages since i had seen fully oiled plaited hair with jasmine flower on them. Server started taking power nap all resulting in increased wait. “This is usual here” one said, other made this annoying sound “shaaa” which implicated how frustrated she is, I sat there saying F*** for several times. I looked around for a complaint box f***,Employess on leave F***, ….my slang were interrupted when Manger showed his big butt in the bank. “F***, at least now the speed will increase” i thought, but whom I was kidding. Nothing changed, queue, waiting people. Time rolled to lunch hour not caring anyone. When my turn came Boom!!, server went down, and i was in my saturated point. I sat there like a puppy who lost his mother, worms churning in my tummy, nobody cared, nobody gave a shit. I wanted to climb the chair shout “there are people waiting here, old people, young people, for love of mercy do your job”. I tried to move the chair when it didn’t budge, realized its glued to the floor i sat there numb. May be cashier smelled something because next thing i know she was crediting my amount and giving me slip

That’s the common scenario there, no one to utter a word against  loss of precious time. Educated , uneducated, old young everybody crib but never do anything. They may be used to living in such environment but I am not. Why to shut your mouth and show your middle finger when you can improve the system, society you live. I am not Anna Hazare in white khadi to do hunger strike and be inspiration item to any fellow Indian. I might be commoner that too woman, of this new generation but being a commoner i know my capacity, my power. After all its from the people to people and for the people. Using my freedom of speech there I was drafting a complaint mail to the senior level. I was not doing it for me but for the people from my place.

After a week I got a call from the bank manager asking me my full name and the reason for my complaint. He started to yap about his future plan to improve bank facility, apologies for inconvenience and again more yapping. “Boss, i know the sweet talk, most HR’s use this tactics, doesn’t work always, you improve the quality of service and show, I believe you” I wanted to say. But there I was again counting seconds hoping the manager on the other end of call will disconnect, hoping to understand i am not interested in his cock-bull story . when i realized he is repeating same thing for second round I took several deep breaths and picked a moment to chop him in middle and started my ending sentence, a knack i learned from my previous mangers during appraisal, and disconnected the call.

I don’t know whether the manager will work on his words and improve the quality of the service, or the long queues will end. I am happy at least I took the courage to raise my concern rather than just sit and crib. Its not my first time I am sure its not my last.

I Will Wait Till The End…..Chapter 19

Posted: October 20, 2014 in STORY

Jenny never imagined that her holidays will be so relaxing ,reading books and walking RJ .Even though Kegan had holidays he used to spend most of his time in office which gave Jenny more space and time to adjust to her new house. Every day she visited Mr and Mrs Lewis with RJ. Whenever Kegan was free he used to accompany Jenny to Mr Lewis house. Sometimes they have dinner there and walk back home. Even though Kegan was trying hard to make his place in her heart she was still holding to her past, to Ron.

One night after having dinner Kegan and Mr Lewis were talking in hall while Mrs Lewis and Jenny were washing utensils. Mrs Lewis said “Hes a nice guy Jenny, give him a chance, he loves you. You cant hold on to your past for long” .Jenny had looked at Mrs Lewis wondering why she was telling her this. Mr Lewis touched her cheek with love and said “I am not blind Jenny, I can see how you run away from him. I know you married him because you felt its that’s what will make us happy, you don’t know how wrong you are”. Jenny hugged Mrs Lewis and said with teary eyes “I am trying, but its hard, I still love Ron..” When she chocked Mrs Lewis said “Ron is dead, accept the fact, nothing will bring him back, try to compromise with your past and try to live”.

That’s night as it was late they stayed back. Jenny was pretty nervous as she had to share her bedroom with Kegan. In Kegan house she never faced that problem. She never shared his bed. She always slept on the couch and Kegan never said anything to her. Her mother-in-laws words were still echoing in her mind.

After saying good night to Mr and Mrs Lewis, Kegan, RJ and Jenny walked towards her room which she had shared it with Ron in past. Cold breeze was not helping her to ease her nervousness instead it was increasing. She opened the door to her room so that Kegan can enter. She stood there watching her bed which she had shared it with Ron. Their love making was still alive in front of her eyes. She took a deep breath to control her emotions. Kegan whispered “relax Jenny, I am not going to do anything. I love you that doesn’t mean I will force you. “, saying that he bent and kissed her hair and said “Good night sweet dreams”. Jenny stood there motionless watching Kegan while he put the mattress on the floor and slept on it. RJ climbed on the bed and waited for her to join. Even though Kegan’s eyes were closed she was sure he is still waiting for her to say something. She wiped her tears and walked towards her bed. She picked her blanket and covered Kegan with it. She touched his shoulder with gratitude and said “Thank you Kegan for understanding”.

 

She tossed her comforter and turned towards her husband’s side. She just wondered how he can sleep so easily. When she couldn’t lie down she picked her robe and walked towards kitchen. RJ yawned and followed her thinking he will be treated for his loyalty.

 

She was eating ice cream in kitchen when she heard sound from study. She looked at RJ who was alert now. She picked the knife from kitchen counter and started walking in direction ofstudy. When she realised she will be risking RJ life she lifted the dog in her arms and put him in bathroom and closed the door. Furious RJ started barking which made the sound and light in study disappear. Jenny held the knife steadily and walked towards study wondering who it will be in study. Before she could open the door of study Kegan was there holding her hand. He said “Go back to your room and wait there”. Jenny stared at him and opened her mouth to deny. He pushed her away from door and said “go now,  if anything goes wrong I want you to call the police…”. Finally when she felt she cant take it anymore she said “I am going nowhere Mr Kegan. If I am going anywhere it will be study. If you cant believe then watch me when I do”. Saying that she pushed the door to study followed by Kegan right behind her. As it was dark she couldn’t see anyone. She signalled Kegan to be alert and switched on the light. They both were scanning the room carefully when Jenny saw some movement behind the curtain. Before Jenny could reach the curtain Kegan saw an gun aimed at Jenny. Without thinking twice he stepped in front of his wife not caring the consequence. Gun fired shot in Jennys direction which hit Kegan who was blocking its way. If Kegan wouldn’t have stepped it would have Jenny’s last day on earth. Jenny turned to see Kegan bleeding and run towards him. The person behind the curtain took advantage of the situation and took out his gun and aimed at Jenny’s back. Kegan held his hand over his wound and stood watching his wife come running towards him. After all this is not the first time they were fighting their enemies, side by side. As soon as Jenny reached his open arms he held her close and turned his back towards the guy who was hiding behind the curtain. Kegan was still holding Jenny in his arm when the second bullet hit his back. The pain was un-bearable. He looked at his confused wife in his arm and collapse to the floor. He touched his blood stained hand to lips and said “sometimes you should listen to me love”, saying that he lost his conscious.

Making use of this opportunity the two men escaped. Jenny struggle to sit in her husband’s arms. Kegan was hurt badly and was bleeding. She touched his cheek and tried to wake him up. When he didn’t make any move she sat there holding his head second time in her lap and saying that she will listen to him only if he opened his eyes, tears from her eyes were falling on Kegan’s face. He loves her truly she had no doubt else he wouldn’t have saved her twice in single moment.

 

 

I Will Wait Till The End…..Chapter 18

Posted: October 20, 2014 in STORY

Rain was pouring nonstop with joy in the beginning on June. Even though it was only 5 o’clock in the evening with dark clouds it looked like sun is impatient to take its leave.She was wearing her wedding gown for second time to repeat her vows that too second time. She looked around and she felt everything was same, same vows, same church, same dress but the groom was different. Her eyes filled with tears when she remembered Ron. Under her eye lashes she looked at her future husband was looking breath taking in her black tuxedo. Even though she didn’t want to accept that fact that she was drawn to Kegan inspite of her all struggle to hold back. All were looking at her and she stood there as if stuck by lightning. Kegan bent and whispered in her ears “Jenny you have to repeat your vows …”. She looked at Kegan’s mouth and held her breath. She dared to spend one more minute wondering about whether it was his charm or his looks made her attracted to him. Kegna winked at her and said “for that you have to wait hon, now say your vows”. With blush on her face she repeated her vows. She took a deep breath thinking she was Mrs Ron in past and now she was Mrs Kegan.

She found her dad and mom talking to Mr and Mrs Lewis and walked towards them. When she found somebody’s arm around her shoulder she didn’t turn back for she knew whose hand it was. Kegan said “they look all happy and relieved”. How Zenny wanted to disagree with him. She thought he had no right to tell her about her own family. As she didn’t wanted to stand there and listen to her husband she walked towards her parents. To her astonishment Kegan followed her and stood by her side facing her parents. Indeed they looked happy she thought. She wanted to tell her husband to move away and giver her some space as his arm was again back on its place. She looked at him and opened her mouth to tell him what she felt when Mrs Lewis said “I guess its too late and you couple to retreat for the night”. Jenny held her breath her second first night with her second husband. She swallowed the bile in her mouth and looked at Mrs Lewis. Kegan said “Yes, we should take our leave but before that I want to say something to you all”. Jenny’s parents and Rons parents looked at him with curious eyes wondering what he is going to tell them. When Kegan felt he has their undivided attention he said “I assure you, that I will take care of Jenny till my last breath, I wont make her do anything against her will. I will always put her needs before mine. I know I cant replace Ron but ill make sure I will do all my duties as a husband”. Jenny’s parents smiled at him and Mrs Lewis eyes filled with tears. Mr Lewis patted Kegan on his shoulder and said “you made this old man relax, I have full faith on you my boy”

After taking their leave Kegan started his jeep with Jenny sitting in front seat with RJ on her lap. Jenny was patting RJ’s head while her mind was lost in its own thoughts. Kegan stopped his jeep in front of his quarters and said “we are home Jenny”

Jenny took a deep breath and got down from jeep. Excited RJ went inside the open gate. She looked at the house and said “I don’t want to go inside, I want to go to my home. This is not my home….”. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was crying against all odds. She tried to control but she couldn’t. she collapsed to the ground with fresh tears flooding. Kegan picked her in his arms and held her close to her heart. He said “I know its hard but tell you everything will be alright. Trust me, give me a chance”.  She sobbed against his chest and he lost his calm. When he couldn’t think anything he put her back in the jeep and whistled for the dog. He started the engine after securing RJ in Jenny’s lap.

When they reached Mr Lewis house Jenny had fallen asleep. After talking to Mr and Mrs Lewis he picked his wife carefully without waking her up in his arms and walked towards the room, which she shared with Ron. After putting her to bed he covered her with blanket and stood there watching her. He felt someone stabbed to his heart. He kissed her on his forehead and closed the door on his way out. Even though he looked cool from outside his heart going through a roller coaster. He took deep breath to get control over his emotions.

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Jenny opened her eyes to see the dark. She fumbled with the switch wondering where she was. She remembered seeing Kegan’s house and she sobbing against his chest. She didn’t have a clue where he was driving when she had fallen asleep with RJ on her lap. Color rise to cheek when she realized that it must be Kegan who bought her to her house, to her room and put her t bed. Kegans absence made her wonder where he might be sleeping. When she realised she is still in her wedding dress she changed her clothes and wrapped a blanket around her. House was in total dark other than dim light glowing in passage. She descended the steps wondering where RJ is sleeping. She walked towards the kitchen and had a glass of water. When she saw the light coming out of the study she walked towards it and opened the door carefully not making any sound. There was RJ sleeping near the sofa. When he realized it was her who had disturbed his sleep he went back to sleep ignoring her presence. Slowly she walked towards sofa and stood few meters away from it so that she could see it clearly. There was Kegan sleeping  with one hand over his forehead and other on the floor. His struggle to fit his entire body in that short sofa was screaming his discomfort ability. Its then her eyes fell on the empty whisky glass on the floor. She picked the glass from floor and place it on the nearby table. Without her command her eyes loiter over his body. He was still wearing the clothes from that evening. With tuxedo gone and white shirt unbuttoned till his chest he looked tired to her. Even her husband was rich with his looks and charm he still wont be able to enter her heart she thought. She covered him with blanket which she had wrapped around her. When her fingers became needy with touching his hair on forehead she off the light and walked away. She stood against the closed door and took deep breaths. Even though she didn’t want to, her body and heart responded to Kegan against all barriers. Even her love for her dead husband was losing the battle

I Will Wait Till The End…..Chapter 17

Posted: October 20, 2014 in STORY

When Jennys eyes fell on the familiar and most adorable face her smile disappeared. She opened the door wide open and moved aside so that Kegan can pass through. Dressed in casual blue faded jeans and white shirt with sleeved folded till his elbow he looked sexy. He had combed his hair neatly backwards. It was not his clothes but his eyes caught Jennys attention. When she was observing him carefully his eyes never left her face capturing her every reaction.. When Their eyes collided Jenny’s turned around. Before she could call Mr Lewis he came to the hall and said “Come to study Kegan , will talk there”. When the door closed behind their back Jenny wondered what they were talking.

After helping Mrs Lewis in the kitchen she picked the phone. When her eyes fell on her dad number she paused for a while. Its been 2 years since she had spoken to her dad. She had spoken to her mom few times but never to her dad. She pressed the dial button and walked outside towards her garden. When her ears heard the familiar voice she stood there holding the phone without saying anything. When her dad said “hello” again she cut the call. She looked at the sky and thought wonder why the gap between her and dad increased so much.

Jenny was so much absorbed in her thoughts that she didn’t realized Kegan was standing there and watching her. Kegan stood in silence watching the woman whom he love madly. Her lifeless smile, her sparkles eyes which hide their excitement every time they see him and her ….Before he could continue with what he was doing Jenny turned towards him.His eyes couldn’t miss the sparks which vanished within fraction of time. Jenny said “Wonder how come they didn’t teach you manners during training. People don’t like to be watched”. Kegan smiled and said “My manners vanish with thin air when I see the woman of my heart”. Jenny laughed and said “where you learned all this filmy dialogue?.  If you use those charming lines with some other gals they might fall for you head over heels. If not for those lines but will definitely fall for 6feet and broad shoulder so try out those cheap tricks on someone else but not on me…”. Kegan stood there watching her; his smile was disappeared. He closed the distance between them slowly, very slowly, with his eyes never leaving her face. When he stood in front of her he said “I never say such things if I don’t mean it”. He traced a finger across her cheekbone and said “I may not be your Ron and but I am the same man who loved you the moment my eyes fell on you, will love today and will love tomorrow. “ He smiled when he felt Jenny flinch on his touch. He said “and I know deep down inside you even you love me, You don’t have to tell me that I can read it in your eyes. Anyways be strong, eat well  and take care of my heart because I am leaving it with you. before she could say anything he bent and kissed her forehead and said “Bye Jenny, see you tomorrow in office”. Before she could come back to her senses he was gone. She stood there for a minute to realize what really happened.  She couldn’t understand why he kept on kissing her but not in sexual way but caring way. Its not that she didnt liked it its just that nobody kissed her that way not even Ron.

Mrs Lewis was watching her daughter-in-law through the kitchen window. She didn’t like the way that Army officer was behaving with Jenny. After all she was his Rons widow. But Mrs Lewis had seen the sparks in Jenny’s eyes when she had seen that army officer. She looked at Jenny’s lifeless face and said “if that’s what you want, I am with you”

Jenny tried to sleep but when couldn’t she sat on her bed. Her eyes were swollen crying. Still she could hear  what Mr Lewis had said “I like Kegan, very straight forward guy. Me and Rons mother we are getting old . Even Ron wanted the same thing for you….”.”Never!!!, my Ron wouldn’t want me to marry someone, love someone when he knows that how much I love him. I am gonna keep my promise and will wait for him. Who said he is dead. He is still alive. I can still feel him, still see him in my dreams….. When Jenny realized her voice was shaking she stood there watching the floor. She wiped her tears and said “Don’t force me dad, I still love Ron. How can I love someone else when I still love Ron?”. MRs Lewis’s cheeks were wet with tears. She said “Jenny, you are like a daughter to us. I cant see my daughter dying every day. All we are saying is think about it. Kegan seems to be a nice guy. He will keep you happy. May be he will love you more than Ron.”. Jenny said “Nobody can love some other man’s widow…nobody….. Fine, I will marry if that’s what you want me to do”. Saying that she walked away closing the door behind her. RJ followed her and she walked miles not knowing the time and miles.

Birds were flaying back to their nest, sun was eager to take days off, stars were trying to show their presence but Jenny didn’t stop walking. When her legs started to pain she realized how far she had walked. She was few miles away from her home. Knowing that MR Lewis and Mrs Lewis will get worried she checked her pockets thinking of calling them. When she couldn’t find her phone she cursed herself for her stupidity. She started to walk back thinking it wont long when a search party will be searching for her. “You seems to be lost and I am sure Mr Lewis is already on his way to search you”. When Jenny’s eyes fell on Karnal Saching Sharma she greeted him and said “I just came for walk with RJ, He loves walking as much as I do”.Sachin Sharma smiled and said “who doesn’t love walk. By the way I wanted to ask you something”. Saying that he paused. When he realized he had Jennys attention he said “I know its hard for you but I had to ask. By any chance Ron told you anything about some project or gave any document”. Jenny thought for a while and said “No Sir, as per my knowledge he never discussed his work with me. If you want I can ask my father may be he knows..” Sachin Sharma said in his steady voice “no Jenny, that wont be necessary, I will talk to him myself.  Jenny was about to ask him something when a car came and stopped near them. When Jennys eyes fell on the familiar figure she stood there motionless. The man who caused her somuch distress, so much pain sat there with his eyes on her.Before Jenny could say her fairwell to the old office Sachin Sarma said “looks like Mr Lewis alredy assigned task to this young man, you better hurry, see you around”. Saying that he walked away.

Standing in front of her he said “you can stand here as long as you want, I don’t mind waiting for you. In fact I love waiting for you. That’s what I am doing, but think about other people who are worried thinking about you. So it will save lote of time and energy if you get into car”.

“I will marry you Kegan not because i want to or not because you want to. I marry you because they want to. And Mark my words I will never love you. Till my death I will love Ron and Ron alone. Knowing this if you still want to marry me then boy all the very best…” Kegan smiled and Jennys eyes blinked. Wonder why she was attracted to this man she thought. He said in steady voice “Day is not far away when you voluntarily say you love me.” He looked into her eyes as if he is trying to read something. He said “Till then I will wait as I do now”.  Jenny said “then you have to wait long Kegan, I will never say that. Because I love Ron and always will love Ron, do you hear me, I love Ron till the end”. Walking towards her he shook her and said “Ron is dead, he never going to come back. Live with present not the past. Don’t waste you love and tears on someone who never going to come back. Ron I am always jelous of that….”. When Jennys right palm struck his cheek He stood there watching her.  He said “Truth is alwys bitter Jenny but don’t worry I will make sure Ron will never haunt you back” .Saying that He pressed his lips on hers. To Jenny’s surprise she responded. Kegan broke the kiss and said “day is not far when you think only about me, day is not far when you dream only about me and day is not far when you wait only for me remember that.”

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Every MORNING

Posted: October 13, 2014 in My Silly thoughts

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In the name of of father, son and holy spirit my hand automatically move in cross sign. After approving my reflection in the mirror I pick my heavy, stuffed bag and lock my door. Morning prayers; I am kinda religious you see. Convent school, convent college play important role in my belief in my religion. If I would have done PHD in convent institution I would have been a superior in some convent but real BAD one!!!With my 2 years old watch reflecting early hour of beautiful day,…..wait a second I wouldn’t dare to call it beautiful day until I feel the luck or cosmos are in my favor. I cross the road and wait for my ride, green color, fancy bus with KIA12 shining on it.

While I wait my eyes and mind role like wagon wheel. I see auto drivers honking their horns and trying hard to grab my attention; and My mind sends them signal :Dude when its necessary you show me your ass and now here you are being mother Theresa. I see mothers carrying their kids heavy bag walking their kids to school while their kids walk freely without any load; and again my mind try to send signal :let them carry their bags, train them rather than pampering them, make them independent instead of making them a parasite which have to depend on you for everything even to decide which undies to wear,you wont be around always. My eyes never leave the fat kid’s face when he comes swinging his hand with his dad and mom while I see pride for him in his fathers eyes I see limitless, not-punshing-for-mistake-ever love in his mothers. The royal treatment of “dont keep it up crow will prick, don’t keep him down ant will bite” treatment to the kid going to be costlier than the money spent on braces;barrier for his teeth so that they stay where they are rooted. Kid gives me one of his look to me when he pass by, I say in my mind :batata vada, you need exercise and lot more of it. Before the cheese,fries cast spell on your forever, try to get out of their clutch. I wouldn’t be surprise if you sending mail to customer service to provide customize XXL.

With delayed every minute I change my standing posture listening to all kinds of noises, sounds, chaining my bag from left hand to right and then again left wondering what in heaven name is my bag. To begin with my fancy big purse;I am trendy, …but wait a minute isn’t there a saying “handbags of ladies are mystery!!!”. I love to keep it that way. When finally I am worn out my ride comes making space in the crowded road with its own way.

When automatic doors open I make way towards the waiting door showing my hand to stop to all impatient bikers coming in my way. Bangalorean impatient bikers!!I wonder where there are riding in such a hurry. They ride in footpath, in one way from both directions. May be they like challenges or love to break rules I dont know for sure.

As I get in to bus I pick a seat where hot pricky sun rays cant reach. Before I get settled conductor gives me ticket. I dont even have to mention my destination you. As I travel everyday we kind of have mutual understanding. Dozers, headphones-pluggers, window seat lovers , Non-stop-tlakers and match-my-earing-wtih-sandal-stap babes around I try to settle down. Then I look at the babe again wondering what time they get up to keep up their babe look. Foundation:tick,compact:tick,liner:tick,kajol:tick,lipstick:tick,cute earring:tick,matching necklace:tick,hair-free hands:tick……i get nostalgic feeling so I stop mentally ticking and look out of the glass window. I throw my hands in air and shout “when will ill start my BABE look, when?” in my mind. I still remembered the day when my few eyes lashes came of while removing the kajal one evening. That day I realized being babe is not everybody’s glass of vodka, its pain in bladder. Ohhh…yaaa…i yawn shamelessly wishing I was still on my bed. Even though my teeth show the proof of removal of cavity I open my mouth in big “O” shape and then cover my hand over it. MANNERS!!!

Green color bull moves chasing all other minute vehicles stopping in all possible places where a passenger is trying out all tactis to grab drivers attention. I sigh looking at the same passengers everyday, there’s no guy who make my heart flip-flop. Sometimes you need that “G” string to lit sparks to your life. Excitment, joy, fun.. My bad kismath, first women’s college and now this boring bus ride. I see the traffic roaring in the road Color-color-what-color cars, infinite bikes, bullying BMTC buses, insane auto drivers, road-is-our-birthright bicyclers, I feel giddy seeing them all to win the race of travel. Sometimes even signal goes crazy seeing the rushing traffic. one minutes they are green, next second they turn to red before anybody could walk on the faded zibra crossing it turns to green. This was bound to happen. As I get down in my stop I see this fancy boys school. With green pants and white shirt they rule residency road. I peep inside the gate while waiting near the signal to cross the flooded road with traffic. The greed to do my high school again goes wild. Sometimes I see few gals in green mini skirts walking towards their school on other side. With that miniskirt galsand those extra forward boys if they would have been in same compound more than 2 minutes I am sure they would re-return history.

I cross the road and look at the people who are crossing from other direction, hoping my prince charming will appear and make my heart go gheeee gheee. If you read excess of romantic novels this will be the side effect you have to live with rest of your life. I smile on my stupid imagination and walk. As I set my feet in that fancy lane I get this “wish-that-was-my” house feeling. Lawn, gardens, doberman, tress…. While having a Tulsi plant is big deal in Bangalore they have whole garden. I chuckle wondering from where they got so much wealth?may be they were born with platinum spoon or may be they are into some kind of business or may be black money. Whatever may be the case they are defiantly not IT people because if they were then they wouldnt have been living in that fancy,expensive area. After walking for a while; I see this 12 number written in Italic font in front of fancy big house. With black gate and security guards in black safari suit. They have big CCTV installed in front of their gate I just look at it and wonder. When my mind cant come any conclusion I walk and see squirrel playing on the compound wall of Mrs Dias . She must be a nice lady because she have kept water in a bowl which mostly birds and squirrels make use of it. No matter how rich the people of residency road are, no matter how big their houses are but their drainage system must be smaller than the cow cut. Stinking water flowing on the road is proof of it. As I reach the end of the road I see big pit, I wouldn’t be surprise someday someone will be calling for help from down there. I just don’t want to be the someone to fall in. I look at the security guards in front of the private bank standing with serious look on their face . When any officer comes they salute him and wish good morning. I don’t understand whats the need to salute them, are they our national flag to stand in attention and salute!!!!Are they paying them extra for that public act I just wonder. Then comes my favorite homely apartments “7”. With tamarind trees, lot many plants that’s a dream place to stay. When I hear the carefree laughter I turn my eyes across the road. Women’s College!!Every mans dream. A smile from nowhere appears on my face remembering my moments, time in my college.

When finally I reach my destination; where I have make sure people know my existence for 9 hours I sigh. I take deep breath and walk praying time to be merciful on me and to pass quickly.