Posted: May 27, 2015 in My Silly thoughts


I wait for the signal to turn red , only place I feel self conscious. While the vehicle and their owners wait like hungry, impatient hawks for the signal to change I walk hurriedly to escape from their intense stare .
As I continued walking the same lane, with same name boards and houses I saw a bundle of red sari near the parked Car on near by shady footpath. With Option of finding a dead body anywhere any time I got startled , early morning I didnt wanted to faint seeing a dead body not today not any other day. So to make it sure its not dead body I stared at the bundle and peeked to get a clear picture with my four eyes. Its then I saw the head, legs and then whole body. It took almost 5 minutes to realized its a woman clad in red sari and to my happiness she was breathing, ALIVE!!. If it was not the for the road I would have jumped with joy, Imagine you are scared to death to find a dead body wrapped in cloth to stain your memory rest of your life and suddenly the body moves and you are relived from the curse. She was new to the place I knew it. I walked away without giving a second thought. The day went with its own timetable which is to “just Role”.
Evening When I was walking through the same road I spotted the same lady seated now on the same spot. I just wondered whether she had any food whole day. Weak she looked in her current condition. I felt sorry for her,”None of my business, somebody else will help” thought; like rest of the people; I walked with my eyes closed.
Next day morning I saw her again, I still followed the same “ None of my business, somebody else will help” thought, I ignored and walked. That day evening when I was walking back from office at 7.30 PM something burned my heart. When most of the people were rushing to catch a bus to reach home as soon as possible there she sat in that same spot in the dark. With my head filled with her thoughts I walked home.
I may be not related to her, I may not know her but she was someone who was in need of help. Next day morning when I walked the same lane with a firm decision. I saw her , sleeping on same spot like a bundle but this in in her old green sari. I couldnt be like rest of the people to ignore her, I couldn’t be the blind with 4 eyes, I couldn’t be anybody else with my conscience. I wanted to make it my business, I wanted to be the one to help her. I wanted to find her a happy ending
As soon as I reached my office I hit the Google button there I found so many NGO’s. I picked the first one and dialed the number. Bingo the phone was answered , I was directed to another person named Mr Suri. When the I explained the whole story, he told me that he will send someone soon. Soon after that I got a call from Lady named Pushpa working for RVM organization saying she spotted the lady and she is ready to go to the Ashram with her. Miss Pushpa narrated the whole story of the old woman whose name was Susheela, she was working in some farmhouse, when she fell ill the owner chased her out. Her husband passed away long time ago and she doesnt know the whereabouts her son who is working in Bangalore”
Life I tell you is mean bit&* anytime it takes a turn without giving prior notice.
I handed my written letter to Miss Pushpa to complete formality. She assured me that they will look after her. When Pushpa pointed at me and said “She’s the one who called us” Susheela folded her hands in gratitude I just smiled feeling happy.
In span of 2 hours without spending a penny, merely conversing over the phone, for the first time I was finding a shelter for a stranger, I was finding a bed for a woman who slept on footpath. Next time you see someone dont stay kilometers away and say “its none of my business, somebody else will help her” instead make it your business and be the that somebody to help. People in need dont want your pity and sympathy they need you and your help.


WAITING, many people life is dependent on that. A poor waits for a better life, suffering patient waits for a relief. Some peoples wait ends with happy ending while others never get to see the end.

I had been to this wedding other day. With groom and bride smiling ,merry with family members and relatives it was a spectacular environement. Youngsters were dancing, women were gossiping, men were discussing IPL ,kids were chasing the flying balloon while some where enjoying the delicious wedding dinner. In all this happy environment I saw this gloomy dog sitting and waiting. With his bonny ribcage visible I realised he must be surviving on the the little street food. Its his face which caught my attention. With his swollen nose I felt may be a tumour has found shelter there. Bile falling from his mouth it was clear he might die anytime. While people dressed in their new clothes made faces seeing him I stood there watching him.

He chose a fine spot far away from disapproving people, next to a sleeping dog,facing the waste food and sat. With every person dumping his waste food in waste bin his hunger reminded him of his last meal which I am sure he had few days back. He still sat there impatiently waiting. He may not see tommorows day light but he wanted to survive today. He didn’t bark, he didn’t make a run for a bone instead he sat there on his spot for people dressed in good clothes to feed him, with hope. When he went unnoticed he didnt create a scene like most of the people. He waited, waited for his happy moment, waited for the torment of hunger to pass.

I dont know what pricked my heart, His bony rib cage or his swollen nose or his wait or his patience. I wiped my eyes and walked towards the catering guy. I gave him one of my best smile ;If my smile could help a hungry-dying dog get his meal I didn’t mind. I pointed out at this bony dog and said “Sir would you kindly feed that dog? I will be greatful to you”
He smiled and said “Sure” and barked a command to his junior to feed the dog. I walked away feeling happy at least I gave a happy ending to a waiting dog.
When the time comes be the reason for happy ending rather than not being a reason at all

Crazy younger brother who obeys your every command, pampering grand parents, loving neighbourhood was more than enough for my niece to love home more than school. She started her psychological blackmail on mere mention of school and gave migraines to her family members. How I love that kid!.
Whenever I converse in English she listens to me and then she start her version of English with her own sentence with her own words from Nomad.
I asked her pulling her silken hair “See that’s why you need to go to school. To learn things, to learn English. Why don’t you go to school Alu pumpkin?” .She stood there glaring at me with her verbal attack. “Tell me SnL why don’t you get married? Tell me why and I will tell you why I don’t go to school?”. It was my turn to stare at her with open mouth. The last thing I expected was my niece to stab me with the same question which whole world is adamant to find the answer with.
I smiled at her and said “Oh my, my…now I wonder from where you picked that small little info like your butt..”. She sat on the step rolled her strand of hair with her tiny and said “I want to be flower girl SnL, want to look pretty and do chicken dance…” I interrupted her and said “Flower girl and chicken dance in your dreams!!!Why don’t you go to school? you need to learn to write ABCD,123″. She smiled and said “I don’t want to go to school, school is so boring.” Then she looked at me and continued “SnL, first you tell why you don’t want to get married and I will tell why I don’t go to school”.
I sat there with aphasia, wondering what all things will be cooking in that small brain of hers. She might be almost-4 but her tongue and brain is faster than her growth.


I cant imagine going home and not finding my mother around. May be not her smiling but furious face should be there to take out my anxiety. Mothers are the one who turns the house into loving home.

With all said about mothers in my previous blog( I just want to say few things how you can make your mother feel special on mothers day.

*Take her out for bowling, or snooker: Let her hit the ball the way she want ignoring the rules of the stupid game.

*Take her out for a movie: it can be action bursting 3D avengers or some humorous hindhi movie. Let her relax for three hours and enjoy the movie with those big 3D glasses and popcorn in hand

*Take her shopping: Force her to buy some trendy jeans, 3/4 or skirt. Remember every human wants to be fashionable. If she feels shy be her mirror and compliment her.

*Take her to spa: Tell her its OK to lie down there on table with all tension eradicate from her muscles. With that scented candles and relaxing oil massage let her enjoy few hours doing nothing not caring about what to cook for dinner and lunch.

*Take her to beauty parlour: Encourage her to try some new trendy hair cut or streak her hair. Don’t you think its her right to look cool and beautiful

*Take her to pub: Let her try some bloody marries, daiquiris, and cocktails. We often hit the pub and try some intoxicated drinks to loosen our sense and laugh not caring the world. She is always around to take care of us. Its time you give her a chance to loosen her well hidden emotions.

*Take her dancing: It can be backyard of your house with a nicely arranged table with flowers with slow music flowing in the background. Just hold her hand and make her change place. She make not be a good dancer but encourage her, its nice to loose your foot sometimes.

*Send her out with her gang:For a change you stay at home and send her out with her ladies gang. We often go out spend time with our friends not caring how bored our mother will be without us around. For a change stay at home and do the house old chores while she enjoys that hot chocolate and lemon tart with her ladies gang.

*Gift her a some new electronic gadget: In this generation which moves along with FB, what’s app introduce some new app to your mom. She might be slow to learn but don’t give up on her. She was the one who backed you when you failed first time in your exams.

*Buy her some flowers: who doesn’t like flowers? pick some exotic flowers and make her feel cherished and pampered

*Make her laugh and spend time with her: She may not tell you her worries, the tension going in the house because she doesn’t want to burden you. At least for a day make her laugh, talk to her about her first crush, college days, first break up. Get to know your younger version of mother.

You don’t have to follow the above list to make your mother special. You know your mother best and you definitely know to bring the smile on her face.

If your mother is not with you any more, don’t feel sad, you have those glorious moments spent with her, you have pocketed her priceless smiles and laughter. So what your mother is not around, make a less fortunate mother; who lost her son or daughter in accident; happy in honour of your mother. I am sure your heavenly mother will be glad.


Fortunate I feel to travel by the trendy, well-maintained, super fast metro and frisk whole part of getting rubbed my body parts with stinky hairy guy in khaki and strangers staring  in BMTC bus. Finally I am travelling decently by METRO in this, engineers more than number of streets dogs, flooding in summer, over-cramped silicon canal.

As I enter the clean spacious metro station I raise my head like a proud jaguar and walk. My legs and hands itch to dance for Bruno Mars “uptown funk” song, as it is So clean, spacious, well maintained. “Julio! Get the stretch!” I shout. Finally Indians are learning to keep nitrogen odour free, dark red spit free public transport stations clean. I dump my heavy bag containing lipsticks, deo, compact in that small Ajantha cave like machine; which micro scans my bag for EXPLOSIVES. While a lady in uniform waits near a curtained booth with her weapon to scan my body parts. To my surprise she moves that scanner only over my BOSOM and shakes her head with approval. Should I feel proud that she scanned my only body part and the scanner didnt buzz? Unfortunately I don’t. I want to tell her I have other body parts, other secretive places where I can carry bomb, my sensitive, god gifted, never wanna replace bosom is the last place I want to hide the bomb with. I want to shake my derrière and flaunt my other set of cheeks where I can carry flat bomb, I want to do duck dance and show I have knees, armpits around which I can wrap the explosive. I agree most of the Indians keep our father of nation imprinted paper close to their heart way too closer to their bosom. But explosive!!!You must be kidding!!

When city is on red alert scanner lady bends her back finally; scans every female passenger from head to toe, she even scans the tissue paper in hand; hoping to be the one to find the bomb with the bad woman. Rest of the days she moves the scanner in front of women’s chest lazily; lets her walk with afflicted pride. “Bosom is part of women’s identity and no one will ever want to jeopardize the identity” I want to scream and tell her.

When I am in good mood I laugh at the lady and she stares ta me, when I am anxious I chuckle at her stupidity and when I am tired I just walk ignoring her dullness. I thought men were the only one who though ladies have only one essential part but I was very wrong.


Once you start working and paying your own bills, you will wonder why the heck we grew up. How glorious were our childhood, days when parents used to take care of us and give us pocket money to spend. We were just kids enjoying life without any worries. No concern about appraisal and Income task, No tension about marriage and husbands. With dark clouds of “adulthood” shattered on our life we long to have our happy childhood back.

Every time I see my niece and nephew I get this “I want my childhood back” feeling. I so much want to be like them, unaware of obligations, society rules they laugh, smile and cry whenever they want. I sit and watch them riding cycle in opposite direction, colliding and screaming “Accident”. Then they throw cheese lings in air and sing Nativity hymns. My nephew picks this moment and says “Susu coming..” like a noble prince. There he stands and piss in middle of nowhere in circles and circles, while my niece screams “Alan is peeing on me…” Then they run chasing and falling on each other like a wild horses enjoying the wilderness. When I cant stop myself I jump in, ignoring my age and obligations.


We play hide and seek, there I am stuck on the floor pushing myself hard under the sofa. When i realize I my body wont fit, I give up and they come on sit on my stomach saying “We caught you SnL, you are next, go catch us”.

Music flowing through TV, I start moving my hips and tell them “Shake your bum like this, see like this” I tell them. Without applause of audience we three dance with our own steps. When I see my nephew dancing like a old man squatting and pissing I throw my hands in air with despair and say “When you will dance like Bruno Mars? When? focus and concentrate”. He looks at me with his innocent eyes and says “Bruno, yes I know him, his brother is Bernie(book character)”. How I want to kill myself for mentioning Bruno Mars to him

When i get bored of chasing them I sit for a while to catch my breath . My nephew comes with his “Bruno” (book)and we drift to wonderland. Showing them the mute picture and telling my own story we three get lost in imaginary world. With thousands of questions aiming in my direction, I try to be patience but again “when, who, why, how,” starts taking troll round after round I close the book and go for a walk.

“Wait for me SnL” they say, wear their slippers and come running. Peace, what’s is it I scream. I walk beside them holding their hands and warning them to watch out for stones and other obstacle. They talk, scream never letting my hand go, startling on every dry leaf move. When I feel I should freeze the moment,capture their priceless childhood in my phone and I stop and look around for a plot. I order them to pose and blackmail with chocolate. They listen to me, make weird faces, and then come running “Show SnL how did it come?”.


We go to Geethakk’s house to get the morning news paper, with these two rascals leading the way.We often pause to talk to Benni Bai,near Mr Pinto’s old house. On the way they talk and walk without caring whether I am following them or not. Sometimes to make the short journey more interesting I hide behind a big tree or stone. When they turn back and don’t find me my niece start crying while my nephew like a warrior starts searching. My nieces then says “Don’t leave us and go SnL, we are just kids, will get scared”. With the sadist laugh I stare and her and say “OMG, from where you picked this line now!!!”.If you say I torture them, “Hell yeah” I torture them in the same way how they torture me.

You may wonder how they torture me; There I am dead tired after long night journey from Bangalore to Mangalore. After playing with those two rascals when my eyelids start to close I pick a room where they cant find me easily. I close the door slowly without making noise, on the fan and try to drift to sleep “Where is SnL, Where is SnL” words still echoing from somewhere . Before I could even drift to sleep they open the door barge in and climb on me. When my niece pokes me with her toys my nephew bites me wherever he finds bare meat and runs. Wailing I chase those rascals and warn them “Dare you touch me again, Telling you, stay away from me”. I close the door and pull the bed sheet over my head like corpse and try to sleep. Again they barge in with my niece blowing one of her whistle and nephew taking his tiger steps to attack me. I get up and chase them. If I am lucky I catch them and beat them. “We are just kids SnL, you don’t beat us” they say. I stand with my hands on my waist and warn them”do that again I will make sure RUM and Teddy(dog) gets the loly pop”. They stare like innocent puppies as if their life is dependent on those strawberry loly pops. With mild voice they say “Sorry SnL, we wont repeat again, but don’t give loly pop to the dogs”. I walk towards the room to sleep again hoping I hit the ball on right corner. But before even I could reach they come running as if they are participating in Olympics.


They have this fancy cycle which tempts even the grown ups to give a try. When no one was around somehow I managed experienced a glorious ride. Wow, it was mind blowing feeling. I rode and rode until my mom stood staring at me “grow up SnL, you are not kid, don’t act like them…”. I zuped the cycle around her and said “last thing I want to do is grow up FL”. I was riding with peace until other two musketeers found me on their cycle. My niece sat behind me, held me tight around my tummy and said “lets go SnL, lets go to Kinnigoli”. I turned the cycle and rode it like never before. It then my blue eyes little monster thrust his small butt in front of my face and said “Give me space I will ride you sit behind”. How I want to push that little butt back and say “No!!!!, I ride and you sit”. When he blackmailed me with his tears I moved back and we three musketeers rode inside 4 walls traveling from Kinnigoli to Mangalore”.

Few days back we had been to hospital with my dad. As there were nobody to babysit my niece and nephew we were forced to take them along. As doctor was late we sat on empty bench and waited. Then started the monkey business. One minute they are on bench sitting other minute they walking running. Being blessed with great socializing skills my niece was busy socializing with some lady and her daughter. I saw my nephew literally rolling on the bench. The bench was bacteria and dust free all hanks to him. After telling them 100 times to behave my niece came running and said “SnL give chewing gum”. I gave her one and asked my nephew “Do you know how to eat chewing gum?”. He looked at the packet in my hand pulled his pants up and said “yes SnL, I know”. For a while i felt the volcano is calmed down I was so very wrong. swinging his legs my nephew was pulling out the chewing gum from his mouth. With one end still in mouth he was pulling the other end with his hand like and elastic. I have done that when i was small but now Yeww….it was so yuck!!…. I told him to stop doing that and give the chewing gum back to me. He put that chewing gum back in his mouth scared that I will take it away. KIDS!!they do opposite. He stopped chewing his gum so i thought may be he want to throw it. I told him “Give me your gum, ill throw it” for that he blinked his eyes and moved his head to one side and said “I swallowed SnL”. Before I could lecture him on swallowing chewing gum there was my nice standing with extended hand and demanding for one chewing gum. With my patience snapping every second i wanted to put them both in my hand bag and zip them where i can keep eye on them .She pointed out her finger at the gal whom she was talking and said “look there, she is my friend..”. I said in despair “How can she be your friend you met her 2 minutes back..”. She cut me in middle and said “she is my friend, give chewing gum for my friend”. I started at her and she smiled “Please SnL, she is my friend” . I gave her the chewing gum and looked at her. She stood in front of the girl and said “eat, its chewing gum”. My niece and her socializing skills!!!. Even though I was angry I was smiling. Kids can do that to you.

As my dad had to test blood we walked to the lab. When the nurse in white pricked my dad with needle they stood next to him, worry their face and asked “is it hurting aba?”. For that my dad said “Come here and I tell the nurse to do chuyyan to you both”. For that they both ran outside and monkey business was on. One was climbing the bench while other one was busy asking someone their name. When they a nun they ran to her and asked her blessings. “God bless you both, you are like angel”, nun said. “Come and stay with them and you will know your angels” i said in my mind. nun looked at me and said “Lovely kids, should have bought them to hospital, its not safe”.

Again I didn’t correct her pre-assumption “I am their mother”; I stood there shook my head like cow and smiled.

I make sure I spend every possible minute with them. I am enjoying my dream of living my childhood with my two little naughty musketeers. I don’t care when my mom and sister say “Stop acting like them, you have grown up”. I just chuckle and let their comment pass like the fart, after all they don’t know how exciting to be to be a musketeer.


While I fight with my niece my nephew rides his cycle round and round. He parks his cycle in his so called parking lot and again he is there riding it like a hard core rider. I take a minute to catch my breath from the fight and still he is there on that damn cycle. “May be its guys thing” I say and continue fighting with my niece.

My nephew idolizes his sister even though she beats the shit out of him. He likes to wear her clips and dresses. Even though I had told him million times that “Boys don’t wear hair clips” he wears them like a proud girl, says “SnL, see my hair, don’t I look pretty?”and then admires himself in the mirror. When he likes his reflection he comes and says “SnL can you take picture of me?” and walks around like a proud model walking on the ramp. When I cant see him with those pink clips I pull the hair clips from his short hair and he starts crying, shedding his crocodile tears.

Other day I was there watching the TV and babysitting these two rascals. After a while to make sure they are still there on the sofa ,I turned back from my chair and there he was hugging the doll and saying “what happened baby, why are you crying?”. I looked at him with shock, when did this happen?. Few days back he was riding the cycle like a punk and here he was wiping that dumb dolls imaginary tears and comforting it. I pulled the doll from his hand like a witch, swung it like a spear and said “Run, ride the cycle, if you want to poop on the cycle go ahead BUT NEVER PLAY WITH THE DOLL”. He cried and jumped saying “Give me my doll SnL, give it back”. When I didn’t give, he bit me and I threw the doll far away. He picked it carefully and hugged it. I banged my head to the wall with despair despair. I didn’t had a clue that it was just the beginning.

Now, frequently I see him with the doll, talking and hugging. I stare and my words get stuck in my throat like traffic stuck in Old Madras road in the evening. With fake hope I stare at him again, thinking I can control his mind like mutant from X-men and make him stop playing with the doll. Time passes, and nothing happens. I stop staring at him and he goes on singing lullaby and puts the doll to sleep.