WRITING..blogging…observing…..n Living with Pain

Writing… hmmm I thought I will make it my profession but looks like its not happening.  But still haven’t stopped reading about the authors in the books whichever I found interesting. To be frank I am ready with the expression to fake it when people start taking my interview after writing my best-selling book. Haha..Best-selling!! (for my face best-selling ..)Thank god Dreaming is cost free.

Few days back I thought I lost my so called, non-existent “Writing skill” forever .  Whenever I sat to write I couldn’t write a sentence.  My condition was like a person whose poop is stuck in his ass. He wants to poop but the determined poop is not ready to disappear in the external world. Seeing my pathetic condition I cried prayed to Jesus “Buddy don’t make my life miserable by being only techie, I still wanna be forced-techie and unsuccessful-writer. Its ok if I don’t hit the list of best -selling but let me part of best times pass”. There were times I used to read my orphan, lifeless blog and say “I know, its pretty sad to be left alone, I know the feeling”. I had a hope that at least few of my GUEST(Harsha, Chand-Wonder if you still remember our last conversation, Harry-promise is long forgotten, Nish-Lazy ass disappeared with her cookie and her pics, Roopitha- even one decent para is enough, DBC-Come on babes write something about your new place, Mr R-anything will do dude, Tiwariji-London is happening place, Leera-be my the first one from my family to write, Zeena Flavy-give a try, writing not difficult,Patric-how long you will continue Liking , its time you start writing, Loly-wonder when was the last time you saw the face of my blog, Veera- stop complaining and start writing, Savitha(Performace tester)- Have you decided what to write?Rolan-Even slangs will do….) but then  who is not lazy?

When I heard the same question from everyone “you are not writing these days?” I felt like banging my head to the wall. I tried and forced myself to write result of which lifeless stories were written which is still residing in “My document” like make-up-less bride. I knew it time is running out and I have to make a huge come back like SRK(without over acting) so my ears, eyes, mind become one to capture any tiny shot. Result of which I saw a handsome in the bus,tall, well built like a knight in shining armor. So he happen to sit in front of me and inspite of all his good features wonder my eyes captured only his grey hair!!!Turn off and full stop. So I thought may be I should just look around casually instead of observing carefully. Result of which I saw an old man sitting in the bus crossing his leg and keeping his hand where two legs cross. When I couldn’t believe my eyes I looked at him again under my eyelashes. When I realized its real I start to giggle wondering what his hand is doing between his leg. Days passed and my obsession to observe, glare didn’t stop. I saw some blonde-chicks, their lame colorless butter flies, their stupidity, cute boys, their half-eaten nails(like my cousin Loy), aged auto driver, helping ladies, dirty roads, sexy Residency roads in Richmond road, awesome Germon shepherd, arrogant vegetable vendors, couples making out in bike, pissing off traffic jam, hell lot of office work, some smooch training movies(shuddh desi Ghee..), some terrific books but I couldn’t find that x-factor I was looking for . Even my moods were variant like chameleon. Sometimes mild like tamed elephant and sometimes wild like boar. In between of observing read many books wondering ever I will write rupchik article or story.

Writing is not easy, Darn its pain in the ass. But still I love this pain because it makes me happy. I don’t even mind when people say “Time pass Blog”. I am happy because at least my blog is the reason to pass the time and make you smile. Fingers are crossed with open eyes with thought in my mind “I have to write not for myself but for my reader”