Fifty Shades of Whatever

Posted: April 12, 2015 in My Silly thoughts

After laughing my lungs out watching FSOG(fifty shads of Grey) I wondered why is the movie banned in India? The movie doesn’t show anything which we Indians have not watched. In the movie the guy was beating the shit out of the gal for pleasure while in India men beat women because they think they have the right to do so. Censor board at least could have allowed the Indian version of fifty shades of India, with all those obscene scenes trimmed and burnt, but they did realize that if they cut all those smoky hot scene there will absolutely be nothing left to show .

There are like millions other books on library racks sleeping day and night with dust all over them, which talk of physical intimation, eroticism. But they never made it to the front row. Rich guy with scars beats the shit out of the gal for pleasure and bingo, the book is selling like hot pants, it’s trendy, sexy and heart throbbing .Author however has done a great job with her words, smirking to lip biting, rolling eyes to later’ss babe, fancy graduation car to brand new laptop, fancy helicopter rides to first edition of literature books. Being a reader myself I felt the book is really carved well with words. With the book you drift into your imagination, easily visit places you have never been to and visualize things which a 2 hours movie can never really show you. The characters in the books are mature and pretty different than how they have been portrayed in the movie.

People do love kinky fuckery, but some being the hypocrites that they are and few others scared of the society, they definitely don’t agree to enjoying it. In some countries even talking about sex is still considered a taboo. Yet, the study shows after the book FSOG, companies producing those playful things have made lots of profit. People!!!! you never made time to read your ancestor’s contribution to sexology “Kamasutra”.

After hitting the bestselling book with all the hype it was obvious the movie based on it was going to be a hit whatsoever. Coming to the movie, our male protagonist, clad in a crispy suit, seated in a fancy glass walled office, on some floor from where the view of the sun rising and setting is nothing short of HD, lays his eyes for the first time on Miss virgin, soon to be a graduate, middle class Miss Steele and he sees a submissive in her. Movie goes on and I laugh my lungs out. Wait a minute, wasn’t  the movie  supposed to make me go weak in my knees, turn me on and drive me to a land of romance, love and passion? And there i was laughing myself to tears. I still remember when one of my friends called Jaime “sukdi bombil”. No hard feelings Jaime darling, But you are nowhere close to meeting the description Mr Grey. Jaime darling, your acting was good but I am sorry you just couldn’t make any impression on my mind or heart. You were unable to reach the character “Mr Grey”. Your walking style sucked, “Later’s baby” was supposed to sound cool and nice but then again you and your brother killed it by saying it at intervals of every 3 seconds. And when you jumped on the bed to have that bite of toast I couldn’t think of anything but a creepy animal. Did I mention those scars on your chest looked more like hickie’s than the burnt cigarette marks?

Dakota Johnson, you almost resembled Miss Steele’s description. With those big innocent eyes, lip biting and the sexy bold scenes, you tried to bring the character in the book to life. Must say ,you have a huge collection of cool butt covering undies. Nice collection, wise choice.

Elliot, you are nothing like the book described you. You look like a real blonde monkey with that haircut. Miss Kavanagh was supposed to be one of the smartest gal, but again you were nothing like the book’s description. You totally lacked maturity .And how can I forget Mr Grey’s mom, a doctor. Was she really a doctor? The way she acted I felt she was more of a “designer” with that OTH wind around her. Taylor, you were good when compared to other characters.

To be honest movie sucks all the blood from your vain like a blood sucking leech. Once all the blood is drained, you feel the  earth rolling round and round and you curse the 2 hours you wasted on watching a guy whip a gal who was “waiting”:).There are some songs which makes your heart go flip flop. These 6 minutes songs have more power, control over your heart and mind than the entire movie.

My cousin says “I would rather watch porn than FSOG”, probably because lots of kinky fuckery is picturized in a more creative manner in them;). If you ever want to educate  yourself about Mr Grey and Miss Steele just Google it, if you want to know in detail the dominant and submissive relationship read the book and if you are in mood to watch soft porn, then watch the movie. Fifty shades of grey after all is nothing but hot physical intimation.



  1. MelRoy says:

    Dumbstruck !! Your indeed a terrific writer and I hope you continue writing. I am hardly a literary critic, but your style of putting across differnent shades of grey in your writing about the book created rich images in my mind. I m not a blog reader, more into tweeting seconds of life, but would surely read, if I am given an update. Your simply awesome !!! Keep writing Lady.


    • sylvia says:

      Dear Melroy,
      I am really glad you liked what you read. But come on lets be honest, I am not terrific writer, i am a terrible writer.Thanks ton taking some time to read my blog while “seconds-only-required-Tweeter” looked tempting. Writing is my passion, surely will try my level best to bring out some good stuff:)


  2. swathi says:

    so true snl..Even I felt the same…I was like while reading this blog “exactly!!! see I knew it” kind of reaction. Its so nice when you describe this and put them in words!


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