Stop Harassing All Singles, Especially Me!!!

Posted: July 27, 2015 in My Silly thoughts

Hello FL, Whats up how you doing?”

I am doing good, you know how old you will be this year?”

I had forgotten but thank you mom for reminding me. You guys never let me sleep in peace”

Me and your dad are getting old, its out last wish to see you get…”

Come on, give me a break don’t start your emotional blackmail”

In olden days women of your age used be mother of 3 to 4 kids”

Oh really, I would have happily made you grandmother of 3 kids by now if you would have taught me the lesson of “go find your love along with degree” instead of telling “no love no boy friend, concentrate only studies”. This was bound to happen. You and your husband blew the trumpet so loud I didn’t feel like disappointing you guys.

Dont talk as if you listen to us every time”

I did, In college time. But dont you think its time I stop listening to your outdated logi..”

I just wonder how you can talk to your mother like this”

Come on FL dont start again”

I am sure no one will call their mother by their name”

So what FL,I do. You have such beautiful name and nobody calls you by name, such a waste. You should be happy that at least someone close to you calls by your name no matter when and where”

I just wonder why you don’t call your father by his name”

Are you kidding me? I don’t want to stamp old tigers old tail. If he gets pissed off then he might call me back home to help him out in the field like a farmer or get me married to some random guy, I dont want to take risk right now.

Thank god at least you fear him

I don’t fear FL, I respect him. I don’t want to strain him his old age”

So did you meet someone?”

I meet many people FL, auto driver, security guard, tender coconut vendor,….”

I am not talking about other men, I am talking about someone special”

What’s with you people? Cant you see me happy for a while?”

Too much of freedom not good, remember the guy should be Catholic?

In this generation finding guy is so difficult you should be happy if he is a guy. “

See this is what happens if you give freedom to kids, they start their new philosophical talk”

Hey it doesn’t mean I don’t like guys, it’s just that their requirements are quiet high, some

don’t like my blog, some don’t like my glassed eyes, my crazy thoughts ….their high requirements. I liked this guy who had tiny tiny teeth and small button like eyes, I fell for his views and that bum vanished in no time, can you beat that.

Was he a catholic?”

FL!!!!!Weren’t you listening when I was telling? He is gone the way he came, by walk. Tell me how’s your husband doing?”

Are you ashamed to call him your father?”

hahaha hell na FL. I am proud of him. Any other father would have forcible married off his daughter under the pressure of society but not him. He respects my choice and I like him for that. I am sure tomorrow If I bring some bagiwala home with me, he would be over the moon saying “Finally she brought a guy home”.

But remember, Bhajiwala should be catholic”

gurrr”

You know how old you will be this year?”

Thank you for the reminder FL. Thank you very much”

*********************************

Hello maushi, hows you?”

Heelllo, how are you?”

I am good maushi, hows your knees ?”

they are good, they let me walk in this old age. You tell me any good news?”

Hmmm not any which I know…”

you know how old you will be this year? Don’t you have boy friend?dont you have anyone in office?I am sure there will be plenty of guys?”

I think before answering my aunt. Yes there are plenty of guys in my office , few burp loudly in their bay , few smell cigarette more than their fart, few yaps in their native language and rest are fit to be my grandfather. If I have to select anyone from this array then I choose to take the oath of celibacy.

Hmmm, hmmmmm. I don’t know maushi, there might enough of them to create chaos

Cant you search one among them..?”

I sing the song then “Khushi zatha sangonk atha bori khobar…. ”(konkani song)

That means you found someone..”.

Na Maushi, haven’t found anyone. I heard god creates things in pairs may be he forgot to create a pair for me……”

You should search…….what happened to the proposal that Anna teacher got?. Have you seen him in what they call Face Book?”

I dig my database thinking who is Anna teacher when I cant locate her in my mind I just scratch my head

“….tell me, did you see him”

Ok maushi, I have to go, take care. Praise the Lord”

***********************

Hey SnL, how are you go?”

Hey sis, I am doing good, how are you? How is your husband doing?”

He is doing good. Listen, are you planning to getting married this year? You see we are planning for vacation, so thought will……”

Are you crazy?..”

don’t even think of getting married in December or April, my school kids got exam. Consider other months..”

..”

Wait, if you could plan for July or August it will be fantastic”

hmmm”

Till mid-August is fine, not after that”

Get lost psycho, don’t call me, don’t ever call me”

Remember what I told you. Gold rates are down, if you get married right away may we could buy some fancy necklace”

Buy me golden underpants!!!!die, don’t ever ever call me, if you do, I am going to sue you”

*****************************

Hey Jirgi mirsang(Spicy chilly), how you doing?”

Hey Rony mama, I am fine how are you”

I am good go, when you are getting married..”

why mama, are you planning to gift me thick gold chain?”

You want one? Sure, anything for you”

Rony mama calls me after few months

Hey Jirgi Mirsang, thick gold chain is ready, when you getting married?”

Rony mama, keep one butt chain also ready, thick and heavy”

ok, ok, anything for you, but when you are getting married?”

Heelo, hello, Rony mama, can you hear me?hello?”

*********************

“Hello, how you SnL?”

“I am good, hows you re?”

“I am good too, tell me when are you getting married?”

I go blank

“I am tired of answering the society; all they want to know is when my youngest sister who is old now is getting married”

“ohhhhhh”

“Don’t ohh me, tell me when are you getting married?. I am ready to spend my fortune on your marriage…..”

Really!!! What about spending some fortune now?…”

Listen to me, get married soon. ……”

“………”

**************

“Tell me SnL, why are you not getting married?”

I go bonkers when I see my 4 years old niece questioning me.

“You see SnL, I want to be your flower gal, I want to wear nice dress and dance. Tell me when is your wedding”

I use my privilege of being her aunt and kick her butt and yell “get lost you country chimp, the least thing I want is get questioned by you “

*************

There was a time in my life I used to get very angry when people asked me about my marriage. Now I have learned the knack to answer them calmly. All I have to do is take deep breath and say “soon, very soon”. “That means you found a guy”, saying they gave me a wicked smile. “do not worry, you will be invited, you just be ready with your present”. When they raise their eye brows I give one of my best smile.

“You cant have children after 30, medical complications”, “you will get wrinkles, you will run out of options, settle down for whoever comes in your path” REALLY!!, “Is your boy friend non-catholic, is that reason you delaying your wedding?”, “some of them are getting married for second time, cant you get married for at least once?”…..Questions similar to these are showered on me all time.

“There is this rich guy who is looking for girl, unfortunately he couldn’t find suitable match, just give a try”; “The guy is from your locality, very understanding, traveling wont be problem give a try”, “the guy built a new two floor house back in Mangalore, Guy is soft spoken and god fearing”. I am not an option in multiple question , I want to scream them. What stupid reasons for match making. I want to tell them, unless you stay with a person you cant really tell how good the person is. So kindly don’t judge the person merely based on his status, richness, talking abilities and family history. It’s the character you have to live with not the crystal, ruby, sapphire or his 2 floor house.

Nobody gives two fucks about one is happy after marriage or not, but they want to see every single person aged in 20 series get married and settled down not caring flood or famine. Is it because they lost their single-freedom so early they cant see anyone without that ring on the finger or responsibilities of husband and kids on their shoulder I wonder.

You can never make society happy. Respect society, but don’t try to live your life pleasing it, because you cant.

I am single because I haven’t met anyone who is genuine person. Men I liked are long lost in the race of marriage, I never met their standards. Being myself didn’t help so I tried to change. Changes are good if they help you, but bad if they make you different person. I adapted the new changes and showed my ass to the bad one that’s the reason I still walk road of life alone. I am still unattached with strings because I chose to, not because I have some deformity. Next time when you meet me ask me how I am doing?which is the next story I am writing, and I might invite you to my wedding.

I try to forget my age several times a day but thanks to my family and relatives for reminding me every freaking second my age and marital status. I don’t blame them, it’s the society rule we live in. Society which I live in expects a gal to be married by 26 and be active member of production by 30. In case gal’s status shining with “Single” then permutation and combination predicts her future. She might in love with a guy from different community, may be girl has some mental issues, may be girls ovaries cant take the load. Why people cant understand its girl’s choice to stay single rather than marrying for all wrong reasons?

Don’t get married because your friends are getting married and have 2 to 3 kids. Don’t get married because your parents are forcing you. Don’t get married because society is pressurizing you. Don’t get married because you fear you wont find anyone when you are 30. Don’t get married because your biological clock is ticking and your eggs are wasted.

Get married because you cant live without The One, get married because every morning you want wake up seeing The One sleeping next to you snoring, get married because you want to fight with The One for silly reason, get married because you think no matter where you are he will find you, get married because you know winter or rain, richness or poverty, summer or autumn you want to walk miles side by side with The One, get married because you want to get old with The One living every day as new. Get married because you cant imagine world without The One.

Marriages are probably made in heaven they are very much lived on earth. And I feel when you get married it should be because of love of your choice rather than others. Its true sometime we find love before marriage and sometime love is found after marriage. When your time comes flood or tsunami, you will be itched forever in the sacred bond.

Let’s stop harassing all singles. ESPECIALLY ME!!. Be nice to singles because they are singles and harassed by society every single minute.

being-single-quotes-meaningful-sayings-smarter

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Comments
  1. Melroy says:

    OMG !!! This was awesome and everything rightly written. I m happy you belong to a Elite group called ” SINGLES” and its simply beautiful. All I can say is, Live your life the way you want, all good things will come to your life.

    Keep writing SNL. Now you got to invite me.

    Lol…

  2. DEEKS says:

    Really nice one !!!

  3. Drama hater says:

    Took me a while to understand “When your time comes flood or tsunami, you will be itched forever in the sacred bond”. one letter makes a huge difference..

    When you single u have the time to write such lengthy articles, while singles like me have the time to sit and read and mentally correct all the typos 😀

    I will give you a reason to marry- No one is willing to edit your stories at present.. Marry and the guy has no choice but to oblige. That’s a happy solution.

    Happiest b’day drama queen. From your friend who keeps reminding you, your age (****).

  4. Sneha says:

    A Light fun read, at the same time so close to reality.You have a way with words girl!!!
    Great work!!

  5. Chand says:

    heha! All of us are sailing through the same…. Nonetheless :):) I’m Glad you find humor in these 😉

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