That Crazy Aunt Of Mine

I am Alan, 3 years and one month, youngest in my family, still enjoying the freedom of roaming without wearing my underpants and farting in public.

I got a crazy aunt who is still enjoying her days without harness. As she doesn’t like me addressing her as aunt I am privileged to call her by name. When people raise their eyes, “you call your aunt by her name” she chuckles and says “that’s alright, he have my blessing”

I am not big fan of her like my sister Aloma but I love her. You should see them both giggling, talking, bitching about me, pinching my cheeks when my mommy is not around. It annoys me when they bully me as a gang but that’s ok, I am kind of used to it now.

She takes us for walk holding our hands showing us the bird or the monkey. When we are lost in the beauty of nature she leaves us, the two small kids there and runs home, we scream when we find that we are left alone and follow her crying “wait for us SnL”.

She might be around 1,2 3,4, 7,8, to be honest I really don’t know her age. With infinite wedding talks around I am sure she is old enough.

Sometimes I am a farmer, sometimes Lord Krishna, the ruler exposing my chest, momo and sometimes Spider man. I dress not according to my taste but according to her wish.

Her obsession with spikes and I am the prey. She doesn’t have a clue how much pain I take to grow that thick black hair.

When me and my sister end up fighting with each other she demands for a explanation, but when we both confuse her with our innocent explanation and teddy bear smile she whacks both of us and tells “Do that one more time and I will call the black dog he will come and eat you”(told you she is wicked). There was a time I used to get scared of black dog but not anymore, because the dog is dead and she still doesn’t know.

During afternoon nap we fight for for the space and the blanket on grandpa’s bed we three fight. On the edge of the bed she acts as talking wall tickling us, giggling. When she is in good mood she tells us the story with pre-warning to keep our eyes closed . When I ask “Why Cinderellas stepmother was mean to her?”she beats me and tells “close your eyes and that little mouth of yours, no talking, its sleeping time “.

We have a doll named after her. We feed her, bath her and when we are pissed we beat the shit out of her.

So what she knows what we like,reindeer headbands ,spider man dress, Barbie doll, gummy bears, tamarind chocolate, jelly beans but she cant take my innocence and inability to raise voice for granted. After all I am boy with my tiny whiny needs and a large share of male-ego.

 She demands a  “SORRY” from me when I burp in front of her saying something about “man-nn-arse”. Her training session is on 24/7, “Good morning” to “Good night kiss”. Its funny to see her apologizing when she makes mistakes. When we irritate RUM pulling his tail and ear she tells us to stop politely if she is in good mood and pulls my hair and ear and asks “How your feeling now?” when she is in bad mood.

You might have a aunt but definitely not like her, crazy, dominating and bossy. I want to grow up as soon as possible, as tall as coconut tree and teach her a lesson.