Please,Dont Assassinate My Name

Posted: March 17, 2016 in My Silly thoughts
Tags: , , ,

7 years back I Googled the meaning of my name and I went into depression. I avoided looking at sexy, mechanical branch engineering guys with rugged look dressed in gray uniform, in college, ceased admiring my dimple-less cheeks in the mirror and stopped humming Hindi songs while pooping.

One who comes from jungle” I had answered my mam without blinking my eyes when she had asked meaning of my name in lab of LEX and YACC. (Same ma’am who takes the full credit for awakening the sleeping heads with bells).

She had smiled, show casing her white teeth, hidden by neatly applied dark pink lipstick, she took her sweet time while I pressed key after key to execute my stuck script. All curious she said “Oh really!,did your father tell you that”, her thin well shaped left eye brow had the reached the peak of her forehead with curiosity

No Ma’am, Google did” I had replied cursing my dad.

I don’t know whether my dad was on weed when he chose that name for me. I understand bad choice of his wife but he was the intelligent one who scored 100 in maths. Instead of choosing a name which rhymes with his darling-platinum-elder-daughter he should have chosen some sexy enchanting name like Ophelia, Amanda, Jenny, Daisy, April, June, Kiara or traditional, easily pronounced name like Lakshmi, Savithri, Geetha, Amrutha, Sharada.

I was getting used to the idea that meaning of my name sucks big time when I heard my name murdered mercilessly in the nerdy-but-blonde-IT-world. ‘a’ was stabbed, ‘l’ disappeared and I devoured my anger and controlled my itching hands cursing my dad all time, my sins are not counted, he is the one to blame.

Serbia”-yes I am Serbian tiger;Gurrr, “Saliva”-please don’t call me that I am human being, not some watery substance which helps in food digestion, “Sylvi”-Don’t swallow ‘a’, it’s very dear to me, “Syllu” yeah I am another species of Ullu(Owl)

When Loly’s (the same pretty lady who blinks her eyes 100 times/sec) mommy calls me “Sylvi”, Loly giggles and looks at me while I turn from brown to red and then again back to brown swallowing my irritation. Auntie is such a darling I never felt like correcting her. When she goes on saying “Sylvi” in every sentence, I add “a” in mind and show my bunny teeth.

You can call me Lobo, I don’t mind ” I had told several times. It’s kinda sexy and adds exotic spices.(Dad, by any chance if my sir name was Pinto, I would have sued you for eternity), but still dumb, ignorant people insist on addressing me by my first name, miss- pronouncing every single time, ”Thika Ganchali”, I tell you (lets learn some Kannada).

How you pronounce your name” I ask people when I see some jumbled up spelling, KoraKutti, Kurapati, Gatla (apparently they all are names), and it doesn’t harm my ego. I don’t know why people cant to the same thing. Most of my team members ,Biryani-lover-Telagites have slaughtered my name over and over, infinite times. Now I am just left with a hope someday, someway they’ll realize their mistake while chewing the chicken bone, how they hurt my sentiments. After all its my name no matter what it means I still love it.

bunny

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Comments
  1. Melroy says:

    Well Expressed.. I too face the same thing especially when a stranger over the phone or a any government officer yelling your name wrongly over the counter… And I just feel gosh… These guys around waiting might think what a weird name have I got.. I am in the Same boat as yours.. Let Go and Live in Peace… Cheers 🍻

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