Lazy Bum In Scotland: On Her Own

Solo trip in India is …..sorry if you are woman don’t even think about it. You will never come back alive. As I was in UK,I thought it would be wonderful If I taste the single malt whisky on my own on my terms watching sexy men in kilt. Time was ripe to double strike something from my bucket list, SCOTLAND.

When I was waiting for National Express in Luton Parkway airport in the chilly night there was a million dollar smile on my face. Traveling alone on my own, something which I always wanted to do and the confidence bubbling up I thought I am gonna burst open like beer bottle, spilling all my happiness.

“Dont worry, you will meet some old couple, you can hang around with them on your tour”. My land lady, Indian, was telling me when I was zipping my jacket. If I would told my parents that I am going to Scotland they would have knelt and prayed to all angles and saints for a sweet encounter with a man for their daughter who wont listen to marriage talk. And here was lady consoling me other way. And why on heaven sake I want to waste my time with old couple. I may not be pretty, may be my teeth are not like pomegranate seeds , eyes doesnt twinkle like stars, and walk is not all graceful but wait a minute I am straight like electronic city flyover.I will defiantly look for a fling with a man. Followed by long walk on highland in the night after a drink like a normal functioning woman. I chuckled pitying the lady. She might be in UK for more than 10 years but her mentality is still narrow like food pipe. Dont be supportive but at least don’t kill my spirit I wanted to shout from top of my voice.”Indian and their bloody mentality “.

“Did you say something” she raised her eyes. “Oh dear!!nothing” I said .

Getting into the waiting cab I smile remembering my colleague saying “So what you didn’t find English man, Defiantly you will find Scottish man. Imagine he on his own and you on your own.” Saying he winked at me. I giggled showing my crossed fingers and said “yeah buddy, you are a true friend” I was already imagining my faceless groom in kilt. Optimistic, that’s what I was.

At 12 when I changed my bus in Milton Keys my spirit hit rock bottom. People had occupied all seats either to sleep or to keep they luggage . It was 12 in night and I felt It is rude to wake them up, you see it was UK. I took two rounds still wondering where to sit, when I saw a glow at the back I walked back saw a guy smiling at his Tab. “Can I sit here PLEASE!” smiling at his tab he vacated the other seat. My heart shaped red baloon, which was flying high moment earlier was falling down. Groom who was in knilt was running away from me without his kilt, butt naked.

Next day morning when I walked on the Edinburgh street I was smiling. Pulling my trolley bag, taking left and then right ans then lost I was happy to be my own in March’s morning wind was chilling me out. I felt rejuvenated walking on those beautiful street. I was already head over heals in love with Scotland.

Finally when I reached the hostel where i was staying I was breathless climbing those steps but when my eyes fell on magnificent, Edinburgh castle I was like og my goodness why i haven’t born here. Staying just outside the castle how fancy! May be finally my lucky stars start to glow with dim light. Finally god was listening somebody’s prayer.

The hostel was awesome. You can find  tourist from all around the world staying there, you have common bathrooms, kitchen, TV room, lot many books for the book bugs like me, snooker table, internet room….you dont have to stay in fancy hotel to sip beauty of Scotland. Try to be there on Thursday night as they have PC, not private computer but Pub Crawl, dont forget to take your Id card, like dumb ass like me.

As I walked into my room I was so taken back. It was just I saw the big wall women and men demolished. I dont know why first thing I remember was my dad. If he would have known that I am on my own in Scotland, staying on hostel room shared by men and women I wondered how he would have reacted. “Archie, you need to see other side of the world. It might be different but its colorfull and awesome, trust me”.

After having sad continental breakfast I thought its time to hit the streets.Taking a map from the counter I was walking, drinking the beauty of Edinburgh. In my solace google map was being my sweet heart directing me when to take left and right. For a lazy bum that i am who doesnt move her ass anywhere I was proud of myself walking on strange streets on my own. I was falling in love, this time with myself.

St Giles Cathedral

I tried peeping but no luck

Isn’t it magnificent?Street of Edinburgh

That’s the Smith guy

That’s the Calton Hill

I love to admire the tourist show casing all their poses

And there is no end to the poses, they are just infinite

Oh yeah, that dork is me. When you are on your own only thing you will miss is your photo in right angle especially if you are not not selfie expert like me.

  Still suck. I suck at selfie, looks like I can never master the art

This time new poses:)

No one will dare to disturb you when you are in deep discussion

To be continued

My Equilateral Triangle

First time I saw those those eyes, I was lost, trying to reason their colour  . The moment I realised I am making Christoper uncomfortable with my 4 eyes, without blinking that too 4th day of my UK visit I had looked away. Defiantly he would have thought “what a silly, Indian, country girl“. Did I care? hell na:)

Its pretty rare you find a good looking guy that too with a fancy name like Christoper. “Chris”! It sounded so nice, sexy to my ears. If you think that I was falling madly in love with him, hold your horses, I was just admiring his Greek-god like feature given by god and name given by his parents. I had to catch a flight of 9 hours from India, to admire the the beautiful creature of god, can you beat that.

I still remember those  big black but not so active eyes, bit bigger than the usual nose shape of ridgegourd which complimented his face royally. Neatly cut hair, edges left free forming small U shape over his decent forehead. and if you draw two straight line from two eyes to nose they form equilateral triangle considering line from one eye to another as base. And the Adam’s apple dont even ask about it. Every time he spoke with that deep rich voice his apple moved up and down like the piston making its movement visible to the spectator. Most of the time I was confused whether I should see his eyes or listen to him or watch Chris’s apple move. I can bet if was there in Eden instead of Adam, Adam’s apple would have known as Chris’s apple. Wowie!

If he was little bit younger or may be I was little bit older, I would have captured his attention in the communion queue during mass. Love would find its own way to in gods house, with him waiting for him after the mass.Followed by a date under the chilling UK sky and him giving his jacket to me like a English gentleman while I shivered. Then year after marriage in the same church where we met first. This is what Happens if you read romantic novels.

Every meeting I attended , I listened carefully every word he spoke. Bullhit!, every time he spoke I just watched him carefully mind already lost in  paddy filed running a kite. But his voice!!that deep-rich-thick voice,hmm always had the capacity to to bring me back and wonder how he got that deep voice?did he eat mint leaves?or may be tulsi leaves or he gagaled every morning with lukewarm water with salt.

He was married man with kids with good fashion sense. The navy blue cardigans, round shaped sweaters when he wore them and stood in the corridor, talking to someone, with hands in his pockets, he looked like Kinnigoli’s Chethan bakery’s plum cake, simple, elegant but perfect. I would just smile and walk away and Bingo he always returned my smile. The way I looked at him I am sure he would have known that he got a piglet as admirer.

It was a busy day when Christoper came to me and was discussing something regarding the work.Oh boy oh boy You should have seen my face all radiant like a full moon in the dark boring sky. When he left I was just thanking my lucky stars when my senior came and asked for a update. When I started with “Christoper said that…….”he politely said “Nasir not Christoper”. “No, No Christoper”. “No Sylvia it’s Nasir” he stressed looking at his system. OOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!!!!! Buuuuttt, c…h…r…iiiiissssss.. cat got my tongue and knife got my heart.

So what he is Nasir and not Christopher , I never stopped admiring him. Every time he walked by my place he would smile at me , no matter how busy I was I return his smile and glare at his disappearing back followed by chuckle and shaking my head. Since then I call him equilateral triangle with all side equal, what is there in the name

I never had a crush on him, OK may be 20% but I never stared at him OK may be  except for the first time. I was just a distant admirer.Married or not you should appreciate beautiful things. Admire the shear beauty and appreciate gods good creation. And that is what i was doing till the last day I was in UK, but in my own  piglet way.

Aunt is Back, Are you Happy?

Questionnaire: You aunt is back after a year, are you happy to?

Alan:Who aunt?

Questionnaire:sorry, SNL.

Alan:Are you crazy. I am no happy to see her back

Questionnaire: I wonder what may be the reason?

Alan:She is crazy, she takes us to strange places and ordere’s us to pose

Alan: She makes us do crazy things, for her dog

Questionnaire:Dog?

Alan:B for ball and log

Questionnaire: you meant blog?

Alan:I think so

Alan:My sister loves her. She do super crazy thingsAlan:Its torture when your surrounded by crazy womenAlan:Sometimes I stand far away and watch them.

Questionnaire:Sounds fun to me.

Alan:Its fun when she doesnt makes us do things her way. She is Bossy!!!

Happy To Be Back?

With fish fry, bafat pork, Anthonamachi rakthi, delicious Florine’s crab curry, self fish dry with coconut, idly  ravishingly dipped in sambar, Nandini pepper chicken, drum stick sukka, SNL’s mango curry entertaining my wrecked taste buds I felt blessed to be back, but briskly. The moment i stepped out I was whining, fanning my face with one hand and shadowing my eyes from sun rays with other saying “SOoo Hot”(defiantly foreign return). With my UK glow already gone with Manglore’s scrounging sun I almost look like a burnt sardine on the thawa. Am i happy to be back?Dont even ask me just look at me.

With multiple “sorry”, “thank you” and “after you” still singing loudly, daily in my mouth I hit hard on my head every time I stay like a doorman holding the door. You have to keep your formality and etiquette in a small bucket under your cot when you are in India. But when men try to push me aside and try to walk away “Hey Rascal cant you see” I try to raise my voice but then again when was the last time men heard women’s voice.

The male chauvinist Indian pigs walk away rubbing your shoulder. Holding door with a smile on their face saying ” after you” looks like a dream to me now.Its unbelievable when Indians men become gentleman merely in 2 days of their stay in UK. opening the door and standing like a doorman every time a woman passed. It feels so funny looking at them, total ass holes.The distance I used to maintain while walking on the road from men was reduced to 2 meters,a year back now I am in dilemma whether i should increase it to 5 meters or to 1 km. (habit every women has to pick while walking on Indian roads).And how the Indian men stare? if there was a job staring at women Indian men would have topped the job. Butt, breast( infinite for loop),face will be the last thing of their interest. It makes me so uncomfortable I tried to ignore one but the other one will be ready with his scanning, MRI. All women in India has to go through this torment, literally makes your body crawl.

Startling power cuts, didnt bother me much but scarcity of water hit hard on my head. The wait for the water with hope soon I can bath myself from the dirt and sweat sometimes seems too unrealistic.Do I miss Englad?I wouldnt miss my boyfriend that much if I had one:)

Nothing can beat home, but when you are back from country like England you will always have that white hole left in centre of your heart, mine was bigger than the usual because I am still madly in love with Knightly Knightly united Kingdom and I cant do anything about it. “Oh Dear”!

Apologies:The tons of pics I clicked at the last minute for my blog are lost

Westminster Abbey, London

its hard to forget the day when I visited Westminster’s Abbey on my own. It was snowing slightly, freezing outside, I was tempted way beyond words to stay back,wear my woolen socks. sipping the mulled wine to watch a movie. But no, that day energy was running at its peak my body.

When you are around, all you have to look up and you see the time.

  

Beyond this place all you have is your eyes to capture the breath taking architecture and absorb all the fragrance of the beauty.

With so many kings and queens bodies resting in peace you dont feel the presence of divinity but you feel the presence of quiet ghosts

 

Beautiful but little plumpy, on the wonderful day like this why grumpy?

Only problem when you travel alone is you have all pictures except you in it.

Its a must visit place, entry fees is bit pricey but worth spending.

When I was tired walking, exploring on the cold day, his mere statue felt consoling. I was walking on those street just a month before the attack. I feel fortunate not to be present there to witness the human slaughter in name of religion.

Whats new: The lazy ass finally did her solo trip not to euro but to Scotland. Who says you cant do things on your own terms:)

Queens Resting Place

Yeah, that is my beautiful wrist:). Security is so tight even the scanning machine wouldn’t have scanned your kidneys so clearly. Windsor Castle

Can you see a a yellow yellow dirty fellow, fishing his nose, He is standing in from of Windsor Castle

So what it was raining, Castle looked still amazing

The passageThere I found one more Indian and my joy was multiplied

  Can you see a cathedral far far away?No ?Rub your eyes and see againThe view from inside the castle

As the photography was prohibited I couldnt capture the Dolls house,Ball room, dining room, dressing room,Sitting room, Garter Throne room,Kings bedroom, queens bedroom and god knows how many. I loved the Dolls house with wine seller, house keeping room, laundry room, servants room, kitchen, Kings bedroom, queens bed room. They had separate room, which shows even king and queen loved their space.  only disappointing thing was that their room didnt have huge window from where you can see sun rise or sun set.  I loved the queens private room with huge dressing table and chairs for her friends to sit and chat

This the private sector which is closed for public. Queen and her family lives here  Clouds flew to their dear ones clearing the view which their were blocking with ugly fat ass

Hopefully he can see where he is going

 

  

And they lived happily ever After

Beautiful Bath

Bath is beautiful place which one shouldn’t miss. I wasnt so lucky because the bath museum was only on was on my fate.

When Roman’s invaded UK(When I heard I was happy, at least someone invaded their privacy like they did others. Sadist of me, dont blame me, blame the history). they constructed this open hot bath. The architecture is so mind blowing I am sure no one could have imagined about it

All I wanted to do is plunge in to the pool from first floor. It was their warning “Do not touch the water its not clean” warning stopped me.

In those days many people used to visit bath to get cured of their diseases. There was saying if they could not get healed in Bath they could not get healed anywhere

I love Romans.

So Fascinating!

this little light of mine, I am going to let it shine….

In that quiet evening after seeing the spectacular bath music was so soothing I couldnt stop humming the song. I heard there was a secret call…..Aleluia, Aleluia

And yeah Bath is always about BATH

Roman Baths

And there far away in Bath I found a Indian restaurant:)

Its mind blowing. May be I should find a guy from Bath and settled down in Bath enjoying Roman Bath

 

  Some locks are closed forever and can be opened only with key named loveShe looks familiar, oh yeah that is me busy capturing the moment rather than living them. Stupid me. I am disappointed as I couldn’t explore Bath, very very disappointed.