Archive for the ‘STORY’ Category

LOVE That Has No End 7

Posted: November 11, 2015 in STORY

When my mom was worried thinking about my sister’s marriage Carmen came up with proposal of her cousin Abel, who was also looking for a bride. I was against it because it will reduce my chance with Josh. With Carmen acting as an intermediate my mom never even thought about enquiring more about the guy. Who can be suspicious about the guy who left his job in Dubai to take care of his mother back in Bombay. Everyone including my sister liked that guy. I still remember it was October when my sister first met him. He seemed to be in hurry to marry my sister. Who wouldn’t be in hurry to marry such a nice girl like my sister Hazel. She never even once raised her voice, never fought back. One minute we were talking about marriage and in blink of eyes it was January and my sister got married. As we didn’t have any spinster in my family Hazel requested Joshna to be her bride’s maid. I was angry, I was furious some stranger will steal my chance to dance with woman I madly love. On wedding day I stood holding snacks plate in my hand and watching them dance. My hands itched to prick the guy’s eyes with the fork. When I felt my control slipping away I counted 1 to 100 in reverse order, it didn’t help . By then I had walked to the dancing couple and stood like an alpha male with eye brows raised. The best man looked at Joshna then at me, and then walked away with knowing smile. I held her close to my heart moving with rhythm of music to the waltz. I wanted to seize the day for now, for tomorrow and for many days after that. I walked back to my seat without saying anything lost in my world.

I was glad to see my sister smile. I prayed that her smile remains forever. Abel held my sister hand throughout the ceremony. I was sure whether he will keep her happy but I hoped that he will keep her happy. She deserved it, after a miserable childhood and all hardships she went through, it was her right to be happy. My mom was never-bursting bubble, talking to all the relatives and smiling at the photographer. If our dad was normal like others we would have been the perfect family. No matter how much you hate some people, they are always in your heart more than the people whom you love. The only person who had more right to be there was absent physically.

With heavy heart me and mom said bye to Hazel. She was all weepy and sobbing. When we finally reached home in the dawn house felt empty. We already missed her. I picked the chilled beer from the fridge and sat going through the album of my memory in company of my solitude for the first time in my life.

Time flew, I became very busy with church work as I was president of the youth committee for our diocese. But I made sure I spend enough time with Joshna. With her demeanour I couldn’t miss her smiling sitting around my friends like her own. Due to some unknown reason Jason never made it to her friends list. Our usual hang-out group included me JOSH, Kevin, Dominic, and by default JOSHUA, the gooseberry

It was a month after my sisters marriage there I stood again watching Joshna walk the same aisle with her twin brother Joshua. Purple flowers I picked for her were standing proudly on her head which were perfect match to the white flowers bouquet she held in her hand. I hid my smile looking at Joshua who looked a ward boy in front of his beautiful sister. The closer she walked to the alter all I wanted to do was to drag her to the priest and say “I do, I will take care and love her till my death”. I never let any disturbing thought put into action. She looked at the crucifix and bowed her head in front of priest; the woman I loved looked like Gabriel to me.

There was small get together after the function. How I wished it was party after our marriage. She was very happy as if she tasted water from the never drying fountain of life. We danced, we laughed, and we talked. Again the gooseberry Joshua was there everywhere I went near his sister. Except his mere disturbing presence everything went fine. It was special day for me as well as I saw the satisfaction, joy reflection on Joshna’s eyes. Sunk in white with little bit of purple shade on her head, non-bargained smile the picture still stands on pedestal in my heart.

Some of her aunts noticed the electricity flowing between me and Joshna, and raised their well-shaped eyebrows at me. These married women I tell you, can smell love before it blossoms. I smiled at them and shrugged my shoulders never showing any emotions or feelings on my face. One of her aunt winked at me and said “soon-to-be-son-in-law” and my cheeks turned red. Joshua walked to me, looked straight in my eyes said “For her flowers you could have least given me a rose to put it on my blazer but one need to be born as girl to get flowers!!!”.

We became very close after her christening. I didn’t feel jealous when she started spending her time with my friends in my absence. I knew it by then no matter where she is, with whom she is, the special place is already occupied for me, call it confidence or over confidence.

                                                                                                       To Be Continued(without delay….)

LOVE That Has No End 6

Posted: November 10, 2015 in STORY

There was no match between us, I was tall, thin had shoulder length hair like barbarian and long nose like parrot where as she was so beautiful like morning due. I have noticed how the heads turned when we walked on the street but that never bothered me.We used to spend time together but she was a passive partner. I used to talk to her, call her on phone and she would just listen. She was being nice or it was just her will I wondered.

When I realized her dad didn’t like me the air in my balloon was gone. Imagine you like the girl, dreaming about plaiting future with her and there is her dad standing like a villain, gun in hand in his khaki shorts. I still remember the incident when I was talking to her over the phone, he took the phone and blasted saying why are you calling my daughter late night. Since then I stopped calling her at night. Sometimes I wonder why I did that, to bandage my spoiled image?

We used to meet and talk, I mean I used to talk and she used to listen. I was having tough time at home. I had little inferior complex as she is good, her family was perfect and I came from broken family, she is gorgeous and me ugly. To make matter worse her dad didn’t like me, after listening to her how she could date guy whom her parents didn’t approve . There against all odds I still kept swimming in the flooded river with hope that someday I would reach my destination, when I would have convinced both father and daughter.

But there were few things I noticed regarding her special treatment towards me. She never spoke to any people in church but me, even though she had male friends she never conversed with them like she did with me. She made it clear once or twice that she isn’t interested in me that way. I knew she would be just friend but I was falling for her with my mind, body and soul. When you fall in love with somebody its not necessary even the other person should love you, I was a man believing those great words. To make the matters worse my feelings for her never changed, spending every minute with her in fact made me fall for her even harder than I anticipated.

I still remember the day when she compared me with Joshua her twin bro saying I am like her bro. How I wanted to kill myself, there I was dreaming about marrying her and here she was seeing her alive brother in me. Girls have unique knack to see their brother in every other man on earth.

I was a member of my church youth committee. As I loved travelling whenever I got chance to travel to different state, country my decision was made on the spot. Whatever little free time I got, I offered that little time at Joshna’s feet as if she was a goddess and I, her true worshiper. Being in final year of degree I made sure I watched every new released movie with Joshna. When we felt we have too many people around us we just walked miles. I just talked like always, and she just listened, may be some lucky day might come when she just talks and I just listen .When we felt words are not necessary spoke through our eyes. One look at her eyes and I could say what she is thinking. With her on my pillion seat, with her by my side on road, with her mere presence she made me experience true heaven on earth. I am sure according to her “We were just good buddies” and according to me “I was head over heels in love with her and soon would marry her”

I never asked her whether she loves me, I never even proposed her. My love was enough for us I thought. On other hand I was scared to lose her as a friend. Kevin many times raised his eyebrows saying “not going good bro, girls are complicated, talk to her, clear it out”. I just looked through the window where sun rays were kissing earth and earth like always welcomed it with open arms even though the rays were short lived.

                                                                                       To Be Continued(without delay….)

LOVE That Has No End 5

Posted: November 9, 2015 in STORY

I rolled on the bed, that night, sleep was very mean to me. I was too excited to sleep. I called my friends Kevin and Jason to inform them that I found their sister-in-law. I repeated “Angel-Joshna-Visits-my-house” 4 times, answered all their questions without getting annoyed. When I finally drifted to sleep I was still thinking about Joshna, the killer who killed my heart with mere looks.

I was wondering how I could approach her without raising any eyebrows. I was just thinking when one evening mom said “Hey Alan, need to buy some groceries will you come with me, I have to…”

I said “aree mom, take your daughter along, I am busy”.

Mom picked the basket from the table and said “she is real busy unlike you. I had to go to Carmen place as well. First time I am going so thought you could help me to find her house. But that’s ok…”. Before she could finish there I was all dressed and combing my hair with my fingers. I picked the basket and said “Lets go mom”.

I prayed to Saint Anthony, I prayed to Mother Theresa, I prayed almost to all saints saying let Joshna open the door when we knock. With my heart beat so loudly in my mouth, butterflies flying high, I was nervous; slowly I pressedon Carmen’s call bell. When nobody answered the door I turned towards my mom and said “they are not home I guess mom.. ”, I was sad. “Press is properly Alan, whats wrong with you” my mom was inspectiong me. Before I could give a explanation to my mom, the oasis of my deserted life opened the door with broad smile and invited us in. There I sat drinking in her beauty while my mom and Carmen talked, non-stop. I self-introduced to her twin brother “Joshua” and her father Dileep. I sat there listening to ladies blabber with eyes on Joshna. When finally I couldn’t take it anymore I asked her to join me for walk if that’s ok with her parents. With permission of her father there we were walking on the lane. Me, Joshna, to spoil sweet company third gooseberry Joshua was walking between us. Kids were playing cricket on the lane and this girl encouraged the bowler. I smiled and walked beside the gooseberry. When the urge to push the gooseberry to nearby drain became unbearable I thrust my hands into my trousers pocket.

Kids called the gooseberry and I started to pray to god for a favor. My smile broadened when the gooseberry went to play. I took some time to adjust to the silence and said

Your mom says you want to be baptized. Don’t you think you should wait, you might fall in love with Hindu guy”.

She looked at me for a long time, more than I anticipated; may be even she is falling in love me I was tempted to think. “not in this life time. I want to be baptized because I want to be called Christian. May be my mom inspired me but whatever is the case I am determined and nothing can change, my mind. “

You are too young to say that..”

She laughed and those dimples were deep, I fell inside them. “I will be 18 this July, officially a adult.“

2 years difference I smiled to myself. As I felt the determination in her voice I gave up and walked by her side, not holding her hand, not talking but merely enjoying every single second with her.

To my surprise she started telling me about her past relationship. It was our casual meet after rosary-Sunday and here she was pouring her heart to me about her past. Even though I hated her boyfriend I was happy, I was happy because she started to open up that’s the first sign of trust. I smiled and looked at her, all I wanted was time and to be patient.

She was a good friend of this guy Malcom , when he proposed few years back she said yes without even thinking. But when he became more demanding about the do’s and don’t’s she gradually started to feel suffocating. Her father’s disapproval against him was one more reason she had to consider. To save herself from further suffering she broke up with him. After that she never dated any other guy. Walking beside her I swallowed my comments. I didn’t care about her past till her present is linked with me.

When the day ended I was sure she’s the one who is going to me my wife. With heart filled with joy when I started to walk back home with my mom I was truly happy for the first time in my life after my father’s sour episode.

I never counted my visits to her house thereafter. As they were newly shifted to that locality they found my presence very useful. The bond between me and Joshna started to deepen their roots.

                                                                                                           To Be Continued(without delay….)

LOVE That Has No End 4

Posted: November 8, 2015 in STORY

That month rosary was in our house for our ward. Even though Carmen was from different ward mom invited Carmen and her family. Every time rosary was held in our house I cursed my fate which made me clean every corner of the house and my mom made sure I was her assistant calling me every now and then.

It was evening and I was dead tired to welcome the guests. So I sat on vacant chair like a faded hibiscus. I saw Carmen and gave one of my dry smile wondering whether she bought her Hindu daughter along. My mom called me “Alan babu anga yoo(come here)”. I stared at my mom, she knows best ways to embarrass me in front of anyone, without saying anything I walked to her. I said “hi” to Carmen and then was stoned to the floor. When I saw her the floor beneath my feet slipped and I felt I am flipping. The more I watched her the more I felt drowned. Those captivating beautiful eyes, graceful walk and that heart stilling smile and thick curly hair, wow. While I was wondering about the girl, the girl has been there in my mom’s and Carmen’s conversation. I smiled, it’s a good omen.

When she finally stood in front of me all I wanted was to see those eyes more closely. When Carmen introduced her daughter Joshna to me I was jiving with joy inside. The queen who was ruling my mind and heart, the angel who captivated my heart stood there on my door step looking at me with those innocent brown eyes. How I wanted to kiss Carmen for giving birth to such a beautiful girl. “Carmen you are going to be my MIL” I said to myself and smiled. Yeah I had decided then and there at the age of 20 that I am going to marry this gal. That killer smile on its place again she smiled and said hello politely. I watched, tried not to fall to hard but gave it up and fell head over heels love with her then and there at that precise moment on my doorstep.

I had no idea when the rosary started and when it ended. All I was aware was presence of this beautiful girl in my house, in the same freaking room. Every time I thought about it I was thrilled. With power of her smile even the black moon day turn into full moon day, I felt. Those dimples had the capacity to bold guys I could feel it. When everyone started to leave I cursed the time for the first time for being so fast. Carmen stood along with her beautiful daughter. How I wanted to stop her, to make her stay for some more time and continue the boring conversation with my mom. When my mom bid her farewell I was heartbroken. With the ruler of my heart leaving I felt like a cripple with my legs.

After everyone left my mom and sister were discussing about how the rosary went. Mom said “You know Carmen”, my ears got alert like rabbit, she continued “recently shifted to Bombay. Her husband is Hindu, got two kids, twins. One is that pretty face girl who came and other one is son. You know Hazel, they both want to be baptized.” My sister was listening without asking any question while my questions were piled up like old office records. Before I could ask some of my important questions my sister changed the topic. Women!!When they talk one topic, back of their mind next topic will be ready. I was living with two women still I couldn’t understand their whole women psychology.

LOVE That Has No End 3

Posted: November 7, 2015 in STORY

It was the week the priest talked about, youth meeting and having fun. I was on sofa watching TV when my friend Kevin walked in fully dressed. He forced me to come for youth meeting as it was a national level meet up and girls would be around from all over country. For sake of Kevin I dressed and walked the steps of the church hall.

When I saw the crowd I felt like running back. With Kevin’s firm hand on my arm I was forced to take steps forward. After registering ourselves, we stood there searching for a place to sit holding registration badge in our hand. With Kevin busy standing and watching girls I stood there searching for empty chairs. After noticing some vacant chairs near the stage I just wondered how the meet up would go.

Time rolled and I lost the track. With fun filled activity throughout the day I made several friends from Manipur, Nagaland, Assam, Ranchi and Delhi. I enjoyed every bit of it. When finally day came to an end I enrolled my name to become an active member of the youth group.

With my sister looking for job after graduation, and I joining college for degree, the excitement of life’s new phase kept both of us busy.

It was a blessed day because I saw her for the first time in church. Priest was preaching the sermon and I was dozing off when Kevin pinched me and told me to open my eyes. He signaled me in direction of this girl who was seated in next row. I just wondered how Kevin spotted her siting in same row on other side of aisle. She was listening to the priest attentively. With her occasionally blinking eyes she managed to focus on the source of her hearing. With her left hand slowly pulling her hair behind her ears, she covered her yawning mouth with right hand. She closed her eyes for what it looked like glorious one minute, took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes again there was no trace of slumber. I and Kevin both were staring at her from our side bench. When we got some stares from people to focus on altar, we looked at the crucifix wondering how one can look so beautiful just sitting and listening to the lecture. All we wanted was to know more about this beautiful angel with brown eyes, outlined by thick black eyebrows. Her deep black curly hair made me wince with pleasure. We were dying to know whether right cheek had the similar dimple like left, whether she sits in same place every Sunday….

I tried to listen to the priest but my all attention was on the girl. No matter how much I tried she brutally attracted me like a merciless magnet. After the mass when Kevin searched in the crowd he couldn’t spot her. We both were heart broken. With a hope that next Sunday we could spot we went home with heavy heart.

That Monday I left my college and went to purchase souvenir to be given to my friends on my youth meet to South Africa. As I was walking back through a road which had to pass through this famous women’s college I stopped to have well known meduvada, and there she was with her friends eating the vada pav and I froze to ground. It was the second time I saw her and she still looked breath taking. She was eating while talking to her friends. With her long earing dangling whenever she turned her head she looked amazing. How I controlled the temptations to talk to her. I was bit happy, even though our colleges were different train station was same. If I am lucky I can get the glimpse of the goddess of my heart every day. Next day I came earlier than my usual time to catch the train with hope to see her, when all the daily commuters stared at me air was gone from my balloon. I was little disappointed but I was not sad. I had hope, hope that soon I will see her and when I see I will talk to her no matter what.

With most waited Sunday near Kevin and I got ready for church on time. That beautiful angel was inspiration to us to go to mass or else imagine visiting same place just to follow their so called commandment, how boring!! We waited for the unknown angel in the same place but she didn’t show up, we were like the energy equation without energy in it. After the mass when my mom called me to meet someone, I said bye to Kevin and stood next to my mom. My mom started to tell about some lady while we waited. With my mind still wondering the reasons for absence of my angel I stood there passively listening to my mom. My mom continued while church priest walked towards us with a middle aged lady by his side.

Priest said she has a daughter. When mother is so pretty I am sure daughter will be prettier”. I just chuckled listening to my mom’s blabbering. Women!, I tell you can cook up whole story in one minute.

Priest introduced that lady as Carmen. Born catholic married to hindu Carmen had two kids. Carmen shared saying “I fell in love with Dileep and wanted to marry him. I married him against my parents and families wish. I didn’t baptize my kids because I didn’t feel it’s necessary, but my daughter who will be 18 soon wants to be baptized. I don’t know why all of sudden she wants to be catholic, its not like we followed any religion back then. Once in a while I used to go to church and sometimes I would take my kids along. I tried to talk to her but all she wants is to be baptized. I don’t know whether it’s wise thing or not because nobody knows the future”.

Priest ,my mother and Carmen started taking turns in expressing their views, I stood there passively listening to them and actively wondering where the girl disappeared. After a long hour of advice and consoling session when finally my mom bid her farewell to the small party I was cursing the girl. “Wondering why she wants to be baptized, she might fall in love with Hindu guy, it will be easy then, why to make things complicated?”. My mom gave me one of her “you talk nonsense look and continued to walk towards home.

                                                                                                                 To Be Continued(without delay….)

LOVE That Has No End 2

Posted: November 6, 2015 in STORY

Residing in India’s most overcrowded place Mumbai is not in many people’s destiny. You may not have spacious parks to jog but those overcrowded local trains, Mumbai’s well known brand Vada pav, those chat pata street chats, filthy joo beach, street vendors in Bandra, people begging and crying to Mother Mary in Mahim, which with time gets into your daily life. I am proud to say I was born and raised in never sleeping place metropolitan Mumbai. Staying in 4th floor of multistory building I enjoyed my early childhood playing cricket in our building parking lot, knocking everybodys door during deewali, dancing for the building’s annual get-together. As a boy I enjoyed riding cycle in the jammed road and helping with Rahim chacha to fix my punctured cycle tyre. With all the given description if anyone assumes I had a happy childhood then they don’t know that their assumption is merely built on the foundation of cyclone, shaky and windy. With my father working in gulf like a typical Indian Christian family, I was never attached to my father. Once in three years I would see his never smiling face and wait with hope for his date of departure. With my mind occupied with complicated math’s problems, relationship-with-father was the last thing I wanted to worry. I enjoyed my every single day playing with my building kids, running kites from the terrace of my building, day and night, until my father’s arrival from the gulf.

My father would arrive unannounced, all of sudden, without prior notice or clues. I still remember those times when I will be in the toilet , wasting water and singing some Hindi songs I picked from music channel, When I come out after half an hour find my father scanning me head to toe. Before my nerves could take in the news of my father’s arrival I would wish him and run into the sanctuary of my room. Even my friend’s father’s were working in abroad unlike me they waited for their father’s arrival. They talked about the gifts and clothes their dad bought for them. While I just sat and watched the excitement on their face.

To begin with my father was a sadist, sadist who hated his own kids. He wanted us to wish him every morning before we brush our teeth and at night before we go to bed. If we miss one day he made sure he punished us. Not talking was his way of punishing us, sometimes I felt I merely die without talking just listening to the nearby train whistle and traffic sound. The cold war was worse than any violent blood shed I felt. His cold blooded eyes would follow our every move. If sometimes we drop anything by mistake he would start scolding and make us stand outside the house for hours. When he was home he wanted us at home no matter Saturday or Sunday or any other vacations. Place like Mumbai where playing with your building kids is heaven we were locked in our house watching the TV with our father. He would put the channel he liked making sure we watched it along with him. While changing channel he would put cartoon channel and wait to watch the excitement on our face. As soon as we focus our eyes on TV he would change the channel. Most of the time I would doze off on the couch or go to my room. But my poor sister, she never had the guts to walk out on my father. She would sit there forcing herself to keep her eyes open. Till date I am not sure why my father hated my sister so much. In every move she made he would find fault. Whenever my father was at home it was like living in hell. My mother cried seeing us locked up in the room but she refused to shed tears in front of us. Many times she tried to talk to him but all he would say “you stay away Helen, you don’t understand all this”. My mom Struggled to be a good wife and good mother. Being a polite person she never raised her voice knowing how much her kids were suffering. When my father used to go to take his bath she would give us bowl of gajar ka halwa and assure us this ordeal will get over soon.

For my father his brothers and their family were everything, unfortunately he never considered us. He never really got anything for us from Dubai while the goodies he bought for his family mocked at us from his half opened bag. But it never bothered me and Hazel because my mother made sure she bought nicest things for us.

Sometimes he would say “get dressed and pack your bags, we are going to visit our relatives.” It never seemed important to him to mention which relatives we are visiting. Always we would end up packing our things and getting ready not knowing our destination. It was like boarding the train without knowing the desination, a total mental torture.

With little money he used to send to my mother, it was very difficult to spend the days without worrying about next day. I still remember the day when my mother asked for 5 grands for my school fees,all he said was “I don’t have money Helen, I will send once I get my salary”. Months passed and the promised money never came. Later we got to know that he paid one of his niece college fees which was around 50 grands. How much I cried under the cold water of shower only I know. That’s when I started to hate him even more.

When my mother realized how easily our father could ignore us she started the dabba business. Thanks to busy Bombay life where there is lot of demand for homemade food. With her firm decision and hard work business started to bloom. Every day she would get up at 3 and start preparing the food. Sometimes I and Hazel helped her with chopping vegetables. When we had exams Savitha ayee would ring our door bell at 5 with smiling face. My sister couldn’t see out mother working day and night when she started giving tuition. Even though we didn’t had enough money we had peace, we had each other to comfort. I never missed my prodigal father. I just prayed may his soul rest in peace whether on earth or hell.

Days passed no contacts with father and we thought it’s for the best. One night suddenly he came unannounced as usual and went to bedroom and slept like nothing had happened. When I saw my sister trembling with fear I got up from my bed walked to my parents bed room. Something had to be done immediately I knew it. Caught him by the collar and dragged him to the main door. He was never my father in anyway so I didn’t care. My sister was trying to intersect. With my boiling anger and hatred to the man there was no one who could utter a word. Growing as hot blooded teenager gave me the strength and my anger within me helped me to take a stand I didn’t know. He was bit surprise but he didn’t say anything. I went to his room and bought his unopened bags and told him to get lost and never show his ugly face.

When he looked at my mother and said “you are not going to do anything about it?” , my mother walked away without saying any thing. What’s the use of having a husband who is not around when you need him?

When he left the house with his still unopened bags and those gulf tags without saying a word I was boiling with rage. With my mother and sister by my side I was able to cool down. All I wanted was to get the degree as soon as possible and start working. With all hope for future I cleared my HSC with Distinction.

Days passed without much worries. With my mom’s ever smiling face and sister’s laughter life looked beautiful to me again. When my mother feared anger, hatred building up in me she got worried and spoke to the church priest to talk some sense into me. One Sunday after the mass the priest stopped me near the church door . With his 5.3 feet he didn’t even made up to my shoulder. When he realized I was not at all interested to see him or his office he signaled other waiting people and walked with me. He selected an isolated place and started to talk. He spoke about Christianity, beautiful life, future. When the topic slowly turned into broken families I got to know his real interest. To play along I nodded as if I listened to everything. After 15 minutes of non stop chattering with the priest when I glanced at my wrist watch to indicate I am getting late, he said “there’s a national level youth meeting next week. Try to come, it will be fun”. I chuckled and walked away. Mother’s worry too much and priests talk way to much.

To Be Continued(without delay….)

LOVE That Has No End

Posted: November 6, 2015 in STORY

love that has no end

I looked at the family portrait again and moved my fingers slowly over my mother’s smiling face. With little bit grey hair, black big sun patch on her right cheek she looked bit old. Thick black rimmed glasses were on their place. My Mom, most humble, strongest person I ever knew. I smiled and moved my fingers to the young, beautiful girl standing next to her. With those black thick hair, non-auction able dimples she looked like a beautiful angel to me. If that small kid was not held affectionately, close to her heart like a loving mother nobody would have believed she was mother of a 3 year old kid. Even though Hazel was 4 years elder to me, she had a boon to look way too younger than her real age. Then my eyes were captured by my nephew Iyan, with his one arm around his grandmother’s neck and other around his mother’s he looked adorable to me. I tried to shuffle his hair like always, mere hard copy of three of my more loving people made me realize how much I miss them. How I wished they were present here with me, in flesh and blood.

I chuckled and slowly placed the portrait back in its place. Every time I missed them I just stared at the family portrait. When the doorbell rang I risked a glance at the portrait for a last time and walked towards the door. When I saw my neighbour Savitha ayee standing there with a box I gave her my usual smile and said “Savith ayee, this was not necessary, I was about to start cooking anyway”. The lady in her mid 40’s forced the box in my hand and said “When Helen was here, almost every day she would knock my door with a special dish. You keep quiet boy, let this Savitha ayee pamper you little bit”. When I realized I don’t have option I just took the box and thanked her. My mom’s culinary skills were famous in my whole building. When 6 years back Savitha ayee’s husband and only one son passed away in a brutal road accident my mom was the one who stayed with her and forced some food into her. There after my mom made sure one box would reach Savitha ayee’s apartment whenever she cooked something special. Savitha ayee scanned my face and said “I miss her, miss chopping those vegetables for her catering business. She was the only true friend I had in this building. Anyways have your dinner and go to bed on time Alan”. Saying good night she walked away. I stood there for a minute smiling. “Mom I am getting profit for your good deed” telling myself I closed the door.

I opened the box and inhaled the mouthwatering smell of pulav. That’s when I realized how hungry I was. I picked the spoon from table, sitting on the couch I gave life to the TV. I emptied the box thanking million times to god for blessing me with such a sensible neighbor. When my phone started ringing, my face lit up like 100v bulb when I realized who it was calling. The display picture was enough to send sensational chills through my spine. I pressed the mute button of TV and answered the call “So what did Savitha ayee got for you today Alan?”. I smiled and said “Are you spying on me Joshna? Cant a man have his dinner with mere company of his loneliness in peace..? My heart bloomed when I heard her enthralling giggles. How I wished she was there in front of my eyes to capture the moment. Her sparkling brown eyes, thick long eye brows and shoulder length hair .I closed my eyes to recall her lively image and said “we are meeting tomorrow after work, Kevins bday party remember?”. She made one of her many cutest sound and said “Thank god you reminded me Alan, else I would have forgotten. You are such a darling, love you baby”. Even though “I love you too” was at the tip of my tongue I controlled and pictured her regretting on her mistake. “That just came from nowhere” she said. With satisfaction rooting in my nerves . When I realized there is nothing else to talk I said “hitting bed early today, need to get up early.”

Dont those shifts ruin your health Alan”. Concern or love he fail to notice

When I was sure she disconnected the call after saying good night, I whispered to the receiver “sleep tight my love, sweet dreams”.

After having my dinner I sat on the couch watching the news still with no volume. Random pictures came and went I sat still, with eyes on TV and mind rolling years back.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        To Be Continued(without delay….)

Birdy And The Hunter

Posted: October 7, 2015 in My Silly thoughts, STORY


Once there lived a small bird-y named Alomi. As she grew up she realized god has been cruel to her, who had created her without any feathers. Sad and miserable she started to pray to god, crying, weeping day and night, to bless her with at least few feathers.


Seeing Alomi weep, broke god’s heart and he blessed her with few colorful peacock feathers.She loved her handful for feathers very dearly


Every day she would kiss her feathers and thank god for his blessings


She danced and sang her mind out. Alomi was never been so happy.


In that place lived a cruel hunter named Denklo, who will paddle his cycle in search of animal or bird .


He carried his huge gun with him all time, even though the gun was bigger than him he carried it with all ease.


Before aiming at animal or bird he would scratch his little bum and close his eyes and then give a piercing cry before killing his prey


It was sad day because the wicked eyes of Denklo fell on dancing Alomi’s shining feathers, who was dancing and singing without a care in the world. Denklo knew it he can make a fortune by selling Alomi’s  handful of feathers


Alomi fail to notice the wicked Denklo advancing towards her. Unaware of the danger she continued dancing with her feathers merrily.


Before Alomi could run, saving herself and her lovely feathers, Denklo held her by feathers and pulled with all his might. When Alomi saw her dear lovely feather in hunter Denklo’s hand, she was devastated. She cursed the Hunter and ran for her life weeping for her lost loving feathers


Alomi stopped dancing and singing since that day . Nobody ever saw her laughter there after. Some say she still weeps for her feathers and waits patiently for the hunter to take her vengeance.


The wicked hunter sold those precious lovely feathers and bought a Activa(two wheeler) which he rarely seen riding. Legacy says he is haunted by the ghost of the animals he killed.

Moral of the story: Do not harm any living creature.

I Will Wait Till The End….Chapter 23

Posted: September 13, 2015 in STORY
Tags: ,

“You could have made it your mission if you wanted to. You didn’t care for Ron and why waste your time on his widow? Go back Kegan from where you came.” she said sitting on the bed when she felt her legs weak. She needed all the courage to digest the new things about Ron she felt.

“There is small correction Jenny, you are not Ron’s widow anymore, you are my wife. It’s my duty and responsibility to keep you safe and secure.”

“Hell with the responsibility and I was never your responsibility” she spat on his face. With Kegan’s back to her she continued “you lied from beginning, you never told me or Mr Lewis about your secret mission. Why? What was the necessity? Who knows you might have killed Ron to take his position and now you are cooking a cock and bull story to cover the whole mess. I was just beginning to like you but not anymore. Trust, you killed it with one secret blow; you lied about everything. How I hate you, you never loved me, if you were on your secret mission then every single fucking word you said about your love is a lie, I am sure” She looked at him  accusingly “Even you marriage to me is a lie, which I am still living. How I hate you, I can never forgive you. Hell with your secret mission” She let go of her emotions without holding back. She had nothing to lose. She lost the first man she loved to the destiny and second to a lie. It was bitter truth she didn’t wanted to agree but its true she had fallen fall Kegan. And here she was trying to gather the scattered pieces of her heart

“My Ron would never do this to me. I let you hold me, let me kiss me and I let you in my heart against my will. Thank you Kegan for letting me know that you were forced to marry me because you were on secret mission of saving dead man’s widow god knows from whom”.

“Enough!!” Kegan screamed and Jenny startled with shock. He walked to her and held her by shoulder and shook her with all his might “Damn you woman, I wouldn’t have risked my status to save you. When someone says how madly they love you for once in your lifetime listen to them. I knew it you are cow headed, you never listen what people try to tell, you just listen what you want to listen. Ron warned me about your stupid attitude but I ignored him. And yes I would have sacrificed my life to save him if I could. How I wish I could have done that, then you would have been saved from this torment and I would have rotted in closed casket. If not for the promise I made him to look after you and I wouldn’t have bothered to show my face to you. And yes it was Love at first sight for me. When I saw you for the first time I fell in love with you knowing that you are Ron’s widow. If falling in love with a widow is a sin then yes I am a sinner. You think it’s easy take the second place?. God dammit woman, I do everything for you, to keep you alive and here you are accusing me for the things I haven’t done” He stopped for a while to catch his breath. When he realized he is still holding her by shoulders he pushed her back ruthlessly and said “I married you because I wanted to not because I felt I am obliged. I wanted to be the one to bring smile on your face, to hold you when you scream in your sleep.  But if you feel it’s all meaningless you don’t have to stay married to me, I am sure you will be delighted to live without my name associated to yours. If that’s what you want then be it. I am after all human; my patience is gone with the wind thanks to you. You are free to waste your life because you promised that no matter what you will wait till the end to a dead man. Mr and Mrs Lewis know about the mission, in fact it was Mr Lewis was happy when I told him how much I wanted to marry you after all I am Ron’s best friend”. He moved his hand through his hair and said “you are free and you owe your freedom to me, hats off to your stubbornness. You can do whatever you want, go anywhere you want, I don’t care about it. I am done with you. I am going home, my home far away from here where I don’t have to see your sad face.” Saying he walked out of the room banging the door

Jenny sat on the bed hugging her knees close to her heart. She felt so lonely she wanted to scream. She long to be in Kegan’s strong arms where comfort always welcomed her in all her troubles. She was angry at him for leaving her alone after dropping the bomb, just like that. There were still so many questions pondering in her mind for answers. The painful things she buried years back were now out in open. Kegan’s every word hit her like blow piercing through her heart. No matter how much she wanted to hate him she couldn’t. He had risked his life several times to count only to keep her safe. She cursed herself for questioning his loyalty. Second time in life she lost a man she loved.

She wanted to run away from all her misery so she started to walk not caring the road or the time. No matter how hard she tried misery was stick to her like second skin. She had tried hard to forget Ron to get over her pain and loneliness that’s the reason she was serving in army. Then she met Kegan, she tried harder not to fall for him but she could not help herself from falling for him. Here she is walking the alone, suffering with pain because of the feelings she had for him. It was getting dark and she didn’t care. She looked at the pair of birds flying back to their nest and she envied them for their company of each other. She didn’t want to go back to her home where people hid secrets from her.

The roads were empty and darkness ruled with pride with the cold wind. How hard dark clouds try to cover the moon, they lost their fight. She stood watching the magic forgetting all her misery. She heard a familiar bark at distant and she knew she is not alone anymore. There was still someone who loved her without any lies. She turned around to see RJ running towards her.  RJ jumped on her and was licking her face. Her smile vanished with the clouds when her eyes fell on Mr. Lewis standing looking at her.  She knew time for her questioned to be answered have come.


After Mr Lewis had told her whole story behind Kegan presence she felt terrible for saying those cruel words to him. Not only Ron but his elder brother Shawn lost his life due to the conspiracy of their own army officer Sachin Sharma. When Shawn tried to collect the proofs he was murdered to keep the secrets untouched. Then there was Ron who found out the real reason behind his brother’s death and discussed the whole thing with Mr Lewis. It was Mr Lewis along with his second son was trying to collect the proofs against Sachin Sharma when Ron lost his life but not before handing over the data to Jenny. Jenny knew it her golden locket was not any ordinary locket. Thieves’ broke in to their study were behind the same data. They were unaware that it’s something Jenny carried along with her day and night. After the first break in Ron had made sure Jenny was guarded no matter what because he felt he may not be around always to protect her. Ron had explained the whole story to his best friend Kegan and asked him to watch over Jenny when he felt he may not be alive to see the murdered of his brother put behind the bars. Mr Lewis was aware of Kegan’s mission from beginning still he kept quiet not raising any suspicious. He was waiting for right time to play his cards guarding the secrets. Mr Lewis was bit taken when Kegan said he wanted to marry Jenny but when he realized how much Kegan loved his widow daughter in law he had given his blessings happily.

When Jenny stood there crying silently listening to her father in law he hugged her and said “Mr Sharma is arrested now and he confessed all his crimes .Kegan is done with his mission and he have decided to go back, away from here. I am sure he might be having his own reasons and I don’t want to question him. Life is giving you second chance Jenny grab it, don’t let it go”.

After lot of thinking and more thinking there she was knocking on Kegan’s door with RJ besides her wagging his tail eager to see the man they both loved so dearly. When nobody opened the door Jenny rang the bell again being sure Kegan is hiding inside avoiding her. She smiled and walked to the backyard followed by RJ. She tried the back door and wasn’t surprise when she found it unlocked. She pushed the door and walked in the darkness adjusting her footsteps from the dim light illuminated from the hall. Her smile broadened when she saw the silhouette of the man she love dearly seated on the chair with whisky glass in his hand. Trying to gulp his pain with help of alcohol she thought and slowly started to walk towards him.

“Watch your footsteps Jenny, Its one way, you can come with your will but you cant go back. You see the way you chose happen to cross mine so think well and decide whether you want to walk forward or not”.

Eyes focused on Kegan’s masked face Jenny took her next step. “I don’t have to think for I know I want to walk Kegan” She took the next step still eyes glued on Kegan “I want to walk Kegan, walk with you and I never want to walk back unless ,” she paused and looked at him pleadingly and said “Unless you don’t want me anymore”. She expected him to come and hug her easing her short distance but he sat there still looking at her. With every step she took towards him he seems to lose his patience. When she was few feet away from him he stood from his chair and threw the glass to the floor, liquid spilled to the floor with glittering pieces of glass. “Tell me what you want from me Jenny, for god sake stop this cat-mouse play. Just get out of my sight once you tell what you want. Let me live in peace”

Jenny saw Kegan fighting with his self-control and continued walking. “I am not going anywhere Kegan, I am going to stay, this is my house too, remember I am your wife…”

“Thanks darling for reminding me, In that case you stay I will go” saying he tried to walk but then collapsed on the just vacated chair. Jenny smiled at the half drained whisky bottle and thanked god for her luck in her mind. Kegan had to stay no matter how badly he wanted to run. She continued walking towards him, holding his head in his hand, bending over his knees he said “Why are you doing this to me? First you accuse me and then you tantalize me with your sweet talk”

Jenny knelt down in front of her husband and pulled him towards her in a tight hug .With his head resting on her chest she said “I am very stupid girl to say all that bad things. I am a cow head as you said but I am not going anywhere without you Kegan. I walk beside you holding your hand miles, ages I don’t care but I want you. Because…” She paused for a while when Kegan pulled back and looked into her teary eyes. With choking voice she said “because I am in love with you Kegan. See I said it”. Kegan wiped her tears and crushed her towards him saying “I thought you will never say that my darling”. He kissed her tears for they were painful, he kissed her eyes because he saw true love in them, he kissed her cheek because he felt its right thing to do and he kissed her lips because he wanted to. He never felt so happy and content his whole life


Jenny looked at her husband who was sleeping so peacefully. She kissed him on his cheek and covered him with the blanket. She had to do something before she left this place. Quickly she changed her clothes and walked out of the house with RJ. Both jogged to the park where Ron and Jenny used to meet. Sitting on her usual place she looked around it still looked calm and peaceful. Flowers were blooming, butterflies looked happy too, birds were welcoming the new day with their new song, and sun rays were just kissing the earth. “I am breaking the promise I made you Ron and I am not sorry. May be even you wanted me to do the same thing. You are the first man I loved so dearly and you will remain in my heart forever. I am leaving this place Ron, because every little thing reminds me of you. I will remember you like sweet morning mist Ron, short time it might live but it’s magical. I am moving with Kegan to Bangalore to start a fresh beginning. Keep smiling, enjoy your ride until we meet again, farewell my darling, and love you always”.

“I love you too darling” Kegan whispered slowly in her ears hugging her from behind. “Wonder when you will stop running out of the house without informing anyone”. Kissing her hair he sat next to her patting RJ. She held Kegan’s hand in hers and sat silently watching the sun spread his rays proudly. It’s was a new day with new beginning .She smiled at Kegan and said “thank you”. Kegan chuckled and said “and I love you”. Jenny laughed holding Kegan’s hand even more tightly and thanked god for second chance


The End

I Will Wait Till The End….Chapter 22

Posted: September 3, 2015 in STORY

Jenny held her breath every time Kegan flinched, the nurse touched his wound. His was doing good and his wounds were healing but it was Jenny who didn’t allow the doctors to discharge him from the hospital. She wanted him to heal completely before he got discharge from the hospital. As a result there he was lying on the hospital bed with his midriff covered with white bandage. Nurse was asking him something and he was staring at his wife who was still holding his hand in hers. Sooner or later he has to tell her and she may not look at him with those loving sparkling eyes. His craving to feel her skin against his palm became unbearable, so he slowly touched her cheek with back of his palm. This time she didn’t move away instead let him touch her. He smiled thinking may be even she started to feel nice every time he touched her. Her eyes were still fixed on the professional hands working on his wounds and he missed looking into his wife’s tantalizing eyes.

He grinned seeing the nurse leave with her medical equipment’s closing the door behind her.

“If you want anything let me know, I will get it for you don’t get down from bed” Jenny said picking up her book from the extra bed on which she slept in the night.

Kegan smiled what he did often in the past few days. Every time he got down from his bed she was there to help him, holding him supporting him. Even though he was able to walk without any difficulty he pretend to be giddy, holding her every chance he got touching her, smelling her hair. It was his fourth day in hospital as well with his wife. Jenny rarely left his side. When she was not around he missed her terribly.

He looked at her hoping not to miss her so badly. She was reading one of her book with glasses perched on her nose, she was lost which gave full freedom to him to explore her face.

“I am still same, no matter how much you stare at my face It wont change trust me” Jenny said still immersed in her book

“That’s very unfortunate, I was wondering you might turn into a monster” He replied.

Smilingly she looked up at him and he stopped breathing for a minute. It’s now or never, he had to decide. He coughed pretending to be in pain, within second Jenny was there beside him rubbing his back telling him it’s alright, it will pass. She started to care for him and he didn’t wanted her to stop, he wanted her to go on and on.

“How long you gonna pretend?” she asked standing in front of him, folding her arms on her chest, smile on her face.

“If you are going to be around me, rubbing my back, holding my hand then Forever” he replied.

“I better tell the doctor to give you sedatives so that you rest without any actiong” she said smilingly and walking towards her waiting book.

Kegan slowly held her hand and stopped her from walking away from him. He was not ready now and will not be ready in future.

Jenny was standing few inches from him and looking down at him while he sat on the bed holding her hand looking up at her.

“I never thought I will lose my heart to someone. Look at me I am just a mass of body with lost heart.” Kegan let go of her hand and held his head in both of his hands “There were several times how I wish I was Ron, dead he might be but he is luckiest. You know why because you love him madly. While living we cant possibly make anyone love us and here you are loving your dead husband beyond words and keeping your promise.” He held her hand in both of his hand scared to lose her touch “Tell me Jenny, what I should do to make you love me. Tell me, But please don’t tell me to die, Its not that I am scared it just I want to see the world, live my life with you beside me” saying he slowly pulled her close wrapping his arms around her and pressing his face to her stomach. She stood there watching Kegan lose his control. She wanted to run and hide in sanctuary of her room with RJ because she couldn’t take anymore torment. Truth or lie she was already in love with Kegan but she was not ready to accept that. The pleading in his voice blocked all her wise thoughts. She had totally forgotten about Ron, she wanted to weep, she wanted to be alone. Every time she was with Kegan her mind started to stop and her heart started to beat harder. Now Kegan weeping against her tummy tore her into pieces.

“You may not love me, but I love you Jenny, with all my heart, my body and soul. Second place though but I am happy and I will make sure I will be around whenever you need me”. With all that said he lifted his teary face towards his wife whose cheeks were wet with her own tears. She may not have bragged about her love for him but her eyes were telling him all he needed to know. He pulled her towards him and kissed his wife with pure, sacred love h felt for her. He didn’t let her go when he felt her tears on his lips, he didn’t let her go when his brain told him. She was holding him for support. He held her even more tightly, giving his warmth, his love, taking her warmth, begging for love. He just wanted to have some more lone time with his loving wife. He wanted good memories, all filled with his dear wife

He just held her for some time regaining his control. Slowly he took out her locket from his pocket and held in front of her so that she could see it properly.

“Why you forget to wear your locket?..” He waited for her to react

With ashen face she looked at the locket and then at him “It was at home and how come you have my locket.?I don’t like anybody going through my personal things” saying she tried to pull her dear locket from Kegan’s hand.

“If it is that dear to you then why are you not wearing it?” saying he slowly stood and made her wear it which Ron had given to her. ”Do me a favor and never take it out, when Ron gifted you he had his own reasons, trust me…”

“I never told you Ron gifted me that locket then how you know?”

She looked at him with questioning eyes. The love shining in her eyes is replaced by doubt, anger and he feared the worst.

“You didn’t tell me but he did” saying he walked to the window to escape from her stare

“What???!!!!Ron told you? Before he could answer her she was standing in front of him demanding for an answer

“You met Ron? You met him before you met me? then please do tell me why you couldn’t save his life?why?why?tell me why?” her eyes were flooding with tears. She was in deep pain. Her long buried wounds were visible and it was him who was opening them with every detail he revealed to her.

With form voice he said. “Because saving his life was never my mission but saving you is”.