Archive for the ‘STORY’ Category

Jenny was busy in the kitchen preparing the breakfast with Mrs Lewis. She hurried as it was 8 in the morning and Kegan had to take his medicine. She placed the breakfast on table and went in search of Kegan followed by RJ. As she entered her old bed room Kegan was just coming out of the bathroom wearing only his shorts. Water dripping from his still wet hair he looked breathtaking and Jenny stared at him open mouth. His still bandaged wounds were dry, he must have tough time having his bath Jenny thought. He tried to dry his hair with one hand and his body flinched with pain. He held his bath towel in his hand and looked at her with his boyish grin. After a while he said “I am sure you like what you see”. Jenny’s face turned red, and she looked away. “you can give a helping hand to your wounded husband” saying he waited patiently for Jenny to make a move. Jenny walked to him and took the towel from his hand and said “All you have to do is ask Kegan, you can keep your ego in your pocket when you need help ….”

“Ok, I believe I can ask anything then. How about giving this poor wounded husband some love Jenny, I need it badly”, saying he winked at her.

She chuckled, and said “Love is something you can’t give, its invisible magic, blind trust, a lifelong promise. What you need is rest”

Kegan sat on the bed closing his eyes while jenny stood drying his damp hair. He inhaled her familiar fragrance, his hand tickled to wrap around her.

“I am a patient man Jenny, I can wait. But don’t make me wait long” saying he tried to divert his wild mind. She was careful not to touch his body in anyway, he had tried to wear his shirt back in bathroom but when he couldn’t move his arm around it he gave up and came out wearing only his shorts. He could feel the tension in air and Jenny’s struggle to avoid any direct contact with his bare shoulder, how he wanted to laugh. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was so near all he had to do is lean forward to feel her. He prayed god for the control which was snapping every second. When he couldn’t take the torment he pushed her hard away from him and got up from the bed. He picked his shirt which he discarded earlier and tried in vain to wear it.

Jenny was shocked to see his reaction, he was in pain all she wanted to do is help him. There he was acting like a tough ass .When she couldn’t see him fighting with his shirt she walked to him pull the shirt and said “remember what I said few minutes back, don’t act like superman”. Saying she helped him to wear it. He took a deep breath; she smiled and said “see that was much easier”. When RJ realized he is not getting any attention he started to jump on her demanding for her attention. She bent and patted RJ. When she realized the reason she came she said “Breakfast is ready Kegan, don’t be late, you have to take the medicine”.

Kegan stood there watching her leave. It was hard for him to control his heart especially when she was around him. He knew he had to wait, he hoped that his wait would end without any delay.

When Kegan got discharged he had asked Mr. Lewis permission to stay in his house. He had his own reason but Mr. Lewis was more than happy, finally there will be some people around the house. With Mrs. Lewis delicious cooking, Jenny’s care Kegan was healing with time. He had to finish his unfinished mission before he joined his duty. Not bothering to change his shorts he went downstairs to have his breakfast. Mr. Lewis was already on his usual chair nibbling at the delicious breakfast his wife prepared, Mrs. Lewis was in the kitchen preparing the tea, and he searched for jenny when he couldn’t find her he thought she must be busy with something. He was having his breakfast chatting with Mr. Lewis, when Mrs. Lewis came out with tea and sat on the empty chair. It was almost 20 minutes and still there was no trace of Jenny. As he didn’t wanted to disappoint Mrs. Lewis he drained his tea in one gulp and asked her about Jenny. She didn’t even have any clue about Jenny either. He didn’t like the speed in which his heart was beating, he knew something is wrong. He got up from the chair and whistled for RJ. When RJ didn’t show up he ran to his room and picked his gun and came running downstairs. He had to find her before it’s too late. As he didn’t wanted to scare Mr and Mrs Lewis he said he is going for a walk and walked out of the house in haste. He wanted to run without wasting any time but his wounds were still healing he knew he cant run for long. He started the engine of his jeep and started searching Jenny in all possible places she could visit, the jogging ground, and his house. When he couldn’t find her he sat motionless thinking about other places. Then he remembered the park. He turned his jeep in that direction without caring the speed limit in the army area. All he wanted was to be with Jenny, he has to be there around her when he feels the danger in air.

When he reached the park literally he jumped from the jeep parking it in front of the gate. He was too occupied to care about the arguing guard. He started running hoping to find her in the usual spot. His wounds hurt still he kept on running till he reached the place where he had met her once. There she was seated on the bench and weeping with her arms wrapped around RJ’s neck. Kegan stopped for a while to catch his breath. He walked slowly towards her, his wound around his left arm was open and bleeding.

He stood in front of her and said “What the hell, you have to come all this way to cry? Didn’t you find any spot nearby?”

Saying that he collapsed on the bench beside her. RJ was too happy to see him, he jumped on him from Jenny’s lap. Jenny saw his bleeding wound, how she wanted to talk some sense into her husband. Getting up from bench she started shouting at him “your hurt, don’t you get that? you need to rest. For few days stop being in pain in ass, for a change take rest and stop running and jumping around”

Kegan ignored her and said “why you are not wearing your locket?”

She got even more furious because he was bleeding and was talking about her locket. She held his hand and said “Lt. Kegan on your feet now, don’t make me force you, I don’t like it when you push me too hard”

Kegan stood , least bothered about his bleeding wound, he looked at his wife . With her swollen eyes, cheeks still wet with tears, hair all messed up it was too much for him to take in. He smiled and said “I like you damn too much when you act like my bossy wife. Thank you so much darling for caring me beyond words”. He stood still not sure of his move, muttering “Hell with the self-control and hell with the world” he pulled his wife in his arms and kissed her on the lips. His wound was bleeding, his arm hurt but he was too much in love with his wife to care. First thing first, now all he wanted was to seal a kiss on his miserable wife’s lips. How he wished to ease her pain, how he wished to give her all happiness in the world. He kissed her hard hugging her even closer, wrapped in his bleeding arms.

When he felt earth moving round and round and his feet stumble for balance he called Jenny’s name. Before she could help him to the bench he collapsed to the ground still holding her in his arms.



Jenny was pacing in the corridor outside ICU, she was restless. She wanted to see Kegan right away but doctors had told her that she have to wait. She was supposed to be the one to be on that bed, fighting with death, it was Kegan who exchanged the place with her. He didn’t have to express his love to her, his action were loud and clear. She had tried in the past not to feel anything for him but his every move made her fall in love with him against her will. She looked at the angel resting on the chain around her neck which Ron had gifted her. “I am sorry Ron, Really I am, I am a woman with weak heart.” When the ICU’s door opened and doctor came out she put the chain back in its place where it was resting on her chest.

Doctor said that Kegan still is in critical condition, due to the heavy bleeding nothing can be said in next few hours. Jenny collapsed on the near by bench. How she hated herself being so helpless, Mrs . Lewis held her in her arms and consoled her. She didn’t wanted to sit out like a helpless creature she wanted to be with Kegan along his side, holding his hand. When Ron breathe his last she was not there to fight the death for him but she didn’t wanted to make the same mistake with Kegan. She wiped her tears and walked in to ICU. There were so many patients lying on the bed motionless except for their lungs which were functioning with the pipe connected to oxygen supply. Her steps trembled; she wiped her tears and walked to the corner. There he was sleeping like a lifeless man, breathing with the life support. Other side of his bed they hung blood supplying pipe to his drained veins. Jenny stood there for a minute staring at her husband lying on the bed; she didn’t wanted to accept the fact that she loved him. She held his free hand in hers and looked at his closed eyes. He looked so peaceful to her. She smiled and pushed his hair back from his forehead. She kissed his cheek and his stubble tickled her face. She knelt so that she can be level to his closed eyes. Still holding his hand she said “You are one stupid mule because you risked your life not the first but second time for me. I don’t deserve your love Kegan, I may feel something for you but I still Love Ron, I always will. Its not easy to forget your first love that too when your first love was divine. Don’t die on me please, not like this, army needs you, RJ needs you and” she paused for a while and said “even I need you. Cheat the death, come back I will be waiting on the other side. Hope you listening to this”.

When his steady breath taunted her she took a deep breath and prayed to god to be merciful on him. As she didn’t wanted to leave him alone in midst of all strangers she pulled a chair near to his bed and sat holding his hand tightly as if she never want to let it go.

Next day morning when Jenny opened her eyes Kegan was gone. The bed was empty with life support still on its place. She got up from her chair when the reality hit her, “this cant be happening,” she told herself “you cant die Kegan not when I am there by your side, not today not tomorrow. Kegan”. Shouting his name she searched whole ICU waking up the almost-dead patients”. Nurse and doctors shushed her and told her to leave but she was still calling Kegan’s name again and again. She was sobbing and trying to talk simultaneously. When she couldn’t find him anywhere she stood still and said things randomly which were hardly making any sense.Before the doctors and nurse can make her vacate the place she fainted calling Kegans name in middle of the ICU

Jenny tried to open her eyes, but her head hurt. She closed her eyes and opened again and tried to recall where she was. Somebody had closed the curtains, cold air in the room tempted her to sleep some more. Against her will she sat trying hard this time to recall where she was. She held her hand to her forehead where it hurt. She touched it, and felt the bump then she remembered Kegan, his empty bed. She jumped from the bed saying “Kegan” all set to run to search him, He might need her, she has to be with him. She tried to take a step with all her might. When she failed she sat on the bed holding her head with both hands.

“Lie still, you need some rest. I am sure you don’t want one more bump on that forehead of yours. You may not mind but I really do, I don’t want to see you like hell boy”

Jenny turned to her right to see Kegan seated on his bed. He had all bandaged wrapped around his midriff and back. With the blood supplying tube gone he looked out of danger . He was alive that’s all matters she stared at him with open mouth.

“Will you close that mouth of yours and lie down. If you faint again I cant lift you”. Jenny got up from her bed and started walking towards her husband.

“I thought you were dead. I got up in the morning you were gone”. Kegan looked at his wife not saying a thing. He knew whole night she sat beside him holding his hand. When he regained his conscious middle of night there she was sitting on the chair holding his hand and murmuring something. She looked strained to him, she needed rest badly.

“I called your named, I searched you every corner of the damned ICU……”Tears were flooding from her eyes. She was standing only few feet away from him. Obviously she cares for me Kegan thought. He have listened to the doctor when they told him about his wife’s outburst when she couldn’t find him on his bed. He was happy that she cared for him, may not love him but that was ok with him.

“Why you didn’t answer me..han?I thought you were dead..”she hugged him tightly as if she never want to let go of him and burst into fresh tears. He just held her close soothing her, telling her its alright, he’s alive draining almost every bit of his energy in the process. He smiled and said “If you continue squeezing me so tight my stitches might burst open, I don’t mind but I am sure you will”. Jenny wiped her tears and said “sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Don’t be in fact I enjoyed it” saying he winked at her. When Mr Lewis and Mrs Lewis walked in Jenny excused herself and dash to the adjacent washroom. When she came out the trace of tears were gone with her worries. Her mask was on with the bump on her forehead.

“does it hurt” Mrs Lewis asked when she saw her, she looked worried .Jenny shook her head too tired to answer her.

When Mr Lewis said “Go home, take some rest “ she wanted to tell him she is alright. Too hungry and exhausted to answer she got up slowly and followed Mrs Lewis. She wanted to tell Kegan she will come back later , lost her voice she looked at him and his eyes burnt her heart. She stood there for a minute trying to search for a reason to stay.

“Go home Jenny, you need your rest. I am alright” Kegan said staring at her with the same intensity. With every step she took away from him she felt the misery crawling back to her. She looked at him for a final time; the wink made her smile. Silently she followed Mrs Lewis thinking she will be back later that day.

To be continued……………….


I Will Wait Till The End…..Chapter 19

Posted: October 20, 2014 in STORY

Jenny never imagined that her holidays will be so relaxing ,reading books and walking RJ .Even though Kegan had holidays he used to spend most of his time in office which gave Jenny more space and time to adjust to her new house. Every day she visited Mr and Mrs Lewis with RJ. Whenever Kegan was free he used to accompany Jenny to Mr Lewis house. Sometimes they have dinner there and walk back home. Even though Kegan was trying hard to make his place in her heart she was still holding to her past, to Ron.

One night after having dinner Kegan and Mr Lewis were talking in hall while Mrs Lewis and Jenny were washing utensils. Mrs Lewis said “Hes a nice guy Jenny, give him a chance, he loves you. You cant hold on to your past for long” .Jenny had looked at Mrs Lewis wondering why she was telling her this. Mr Lewis touched her cheek with love and said “I am not blind Jenny, I can see how you run away from him. I know you married him because you felt its that’s what will make us happy, you don’t know how wrong you are”. Jenny hugged Mrs Lewis and said with teary eyes “I am trying, but its hard, I still love Ron..” When she chocked Mrs Lewis said “Ron is dead, accept the fact, nothing will bring him back, try to compromise with your past and try to live”.

That’s night as it was late they stayed back. Jenny was pretty nervous as she had to share her bedroom with Kegan. In Kegan house she never faced that problem. She never shared his bed. She always slept on the couch and Kegan never said anything to her. Her mother-in-laws words were still echoing in her mind.

After saying good night to Mr and Mrs Lewis, Kegan, RJ and Jenny walked towards her room which she had shared it with Ron in past. Cold breeze was not helping her to ease her nervousness instead it was increasing. She opened the door to her room so that Kegan can enter. She stood there watching her bed which she had shared it with Ron. Their love making was still alive in front of her eyes. She took a deep breath to control her emotions. Kegan whispered “relax Jenny, I am not going to do anything. I love you that doesn’t mean I will force you. “, saying that he bent and kissed her hair and said “Good night sweet dreams”. Jenny stood there motionless watching Kegan while he put the mattress on the floor and slept on it. RJ climbed on the bed and waited for her to join. Even though Kegan’s eyes were closed she was sure he is still waiting for her to say something. She wiped her tears and walked towards her bed. She picked her blanket and covered Kegan with it. She touched his shoulder with gratitude and said “Thank you Kegan for understanding”.


She tossed her comforter and turned towards her husband’s side. She just wondered how he can sleep so easily. When she couldn’t lie down she picked her robe and walked towards kitchen. RJ yawned and followed her thinking he will be treated for his loyalty.


She was eating ice cream in kitchen when she heard sound from study. She looked at RJ who was alert now. She picked the knife from kitchen counter and started walking in direction ofstudy. When she realised she will be risking RJ life she lifted the dog in her arms and put him in bathroom and closed the door. Furious RJ started barking which made the sound and light in study disappear. Jenny held the knife steadily and walked towards study wondering who it will be in study. Before she could open the door of study Kegan was there holding her hand. He said “Go back to your room and wait there”. Jenny stared at him and opened her mouth to deny. He pushed her away from door and said “go now,  if anything goes wrong I want you to call the police…”. Finally when she felt she cant take it anymore she said “I am going nowhere Mr Kegan. If I am going anywhere it will be study. If you cant believe then watch me when I do”. Saying that she pushed the door to study followed by Kegan right behind her. As it was dark she couldn’t see anyone. She signalled Kegan to be alert and switched on the light. They both were scanning the room carefully when Jenny saw some movement behind the curtain. Before Jenny could reach the curtain Kegan saw an gun aimed at Jenny. Without thinking twice he stepped in front of his wife not caring the consequence. Gun fired shot in Jennys direction which hit Kegan who was blocking its way. If Kegan wouldn’t have stepped it would have Jenny’s last day on earth. Jenny turned to see Kegan bleeding and run towards him. The person behind the curtain took advantage of the situation and took out his gun and aimed at Jenny’s back. Kegan held his hand over his wound and stood watching his wife come running towards him. After all this is not the first time they were fighting their enemies, side by side. As soon as Jenny reached his open arms he held her close and turned his back towards the guy who was hiding behind the curtain. Kegan was still holding Jenny in his arm when the second bullet hit his back. The pain was un-bearable. He looked at his confused wife in his arm and collapse to the floor. He touched his blood stained hand to lips and said “sometimes you should listen to me love”, saying that he lost his conscious.

Making use of this opportunity the two men escaped. Jenny struggle to sit in her husband’s arms. Kegan was hurt badly and was bleeding. She touched his cheek and tried to wake him up. When he didn’t make any move she sat there holding his head second time in her lap and saying that she will listen to him only if he opened his eyes, tears from her eyes were falling on Kegan’s face. He loves her truly she had no doubt else he wouldn’t have saved her twice in single moment.



I Will Wait Till The End…..Chapter 18

Posted: October 20, 2014 in STORY

Rain was pouring nonstop with joy in the beginning on June. Even though it was only 5 o’clock in the evening with dark clouds it looked like sun is impatient to take its leave.She was wearing her wedding gown for second time to repeat her vows that too second time. She looked around and she felt everything was same, same vows, same church, same dress but the groom was different. Her eyes filled with tears when she remembered Ron. Under her eye lashes she looked at her future husband was looking breath taking in her black tuxedo. Even though she didn’t want to accept that fact that she was drawn to Kegan inspite of her all struggle to hold back. All were looking at her and she stood there as if stuck by lightning. Kegan bent and whispered in her ears “Jenny you have to repeat your vows …”. She looked at Kegan’s mouth and held her breath. She dared to spend one more minute wondering about whether it was his charm or his looks made her attracted to him. Kegna winked at her and said “for that you have to wait hon, now say your vows”. With blush on her face she repeated her vows. She took a deep breath thinking she was Mrs Ron in past and now she was Mrs Kegan.

She found her dad and mom talking to Mr and Mrs Lewis and walked towards them. When she found somebody’s arm around her shoulder she didn’t turn back for she knew whose hand it was. Kegan said “they look all happy and relieved”. How Zenny wanted to disagree with him. She thought he had no right to tell her about her own family. As she didn’t wanted to stand there and listen to her husband she walked towards her parents. To her astonishment Kegan followed her and stood by her side facing her parents. Indeed they looked happy she thought. She wanted to tell her husband to move away and giver her some space as his arm was again back on its place. She looked at him and opened her mouth to tell him what she felt when Mrs Lewis said “I guess its too late and you couple to retreat for the night”. Jenny held her breath her second first night with her second husband. She swallowed the bile in her mouth and looked at Mrs Lewis. Kegan said “Yes, we should take our leave but before that I want to say something to you all”. Jenny’s parents and Rons parents looked at him with curious eyes wondering what he is going to tell them. When Kegan felt he has their undivided attention he said “I assure you, that I will take care of Jenny till my last breath, I wont make her do anything against her will. I will always put her needs before mine. I know I cant replace Ron but ill make sure I will do all my duties as a husband”. Jenny’s parents smiled at him and Mrs Lewis eyes filled with tears. Mr Lewis patted Kegan on his shoulder and said “you made this old man relax, I have full faith on you my boy”

After taking their leave Kegan started his jeep with Jenny sitting in front seat with RJ on her lap. Jenny was patting RJ’s head while her mind was lost in its own thoughts. Kegan stopped his jeep in front of his quarters and said “we are home Jenny”

Jenny took a deep breath and got down from jeep. Excited RJ went inside the open gate. She looked at the house and said “I don’t want to go inside, I want to go to my home. This is not my home….”. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was crying against all odds. She tried to control but she couldn’t. she collapsed to the ground with fresh tears flooding. Kegan picked her in his arms and held her close to her heart. He said “I know its hard but tell you everything will be alright. Trust me, give me a chance”.  She sobbed against his chest and he lost his calm. When he couldn’t think anything he put her back in the jeep and whistled for the dog. He started the engine after securing RJ in Jenny’s lap.

When they reached Mr Lewis house Jenny had fallen asleep. After talking to Mr and Mrs Lewis he picked his wife carefully without waking her up in his arms and walked towards the room, which she shared with Ron. After putting her to bed he covered her with blanket and stood there watching her. He felt someone stabbed to his heart. He kissed her on his forehead and closed the door on his way out. Even though he looked cool from outside his heart going through a roller coaster. He took deep breath to get control over his emotions.


Jenny opened her eyes to see the dark. She fumbled with the switch wondering where she was. She remembered seeing Kegan’s house and she sobbing against his chest. She didn’t have a clue where he was driving when she had fallen asleep with RJ on her lap. Color rise to cheek when she realized that it must be Kegan who bought her to her house, to her room and put her t bed. Kegans absence made her wonder where he might be sleeping. When she realised she is still in her wedding dress she changed her clothes and wrapped a blanket around her. House was in total dark other than dim light glowing in passage. She descended the steps wondering where RJ is sleeping. She walked towards the kitchen and had a glass of water. When she saw the light coming out of the study she walked towards it and opened the door carefully not making any sound. There was RJ sleeping near the sofa. When he realized it was her who had disturbed his sleep he went back to sleep ignoring her presence. Slowly she walked towards sofa and stood few meters away from it so that she could see it clearly. There was Kegan sleeping  with one hand over his forehead and other on the floor. His struggle to fit his entire body in that short sofa was screaming his discomfort ability. Its then her eyes fell on the empty whisky glass on the floor. She picked the glass from floor and place it on the nearby table. Without her command her eyes loiter over his body. He was still wearing the clothes from that evening. With tuxedo gone and white shirt unbuttoned till his chest he looked tired to her. Even her husband was rich with his looks and charm he still wont be able to enter her heart she thought. She covered him with blanket which she had wrapped around her. When her fingers became needy with touching his hair on forehead she off the light and walked away. She stood against the closed door and took deep breaths. Even though she didn’t want to, her body and heart responded to Kegan against all barriers. Even her love for her dead husband was losing the battle

I Will Wait Till The End…..Chapter 17

Posted: October 20, 2014 in STORY

When Jennys eyes fell on the familiar and most adorable face her smile disappeared. She opened the door wide open and moved aside so that Kegan can pass through. Dressed in casual blue faded jeans and white shirt with sleeved folded till his elbow he looked sexy. He had combed his hair neatly backwards. It was not his clothes but his eyes caught Jennys attention. When she was observing him carefully his eyes never left her face capturing her every reaction.. When Their eyes collided Jenny’s turned around. Before she could call Mr Lewis he came to the hall and said “Come to study Kegan , will talk there”. When the door closed behind their back Jenny wondered what they were talking.

After helping Mrs Lewis in the kitchen she picked the phone. When her eyes fell on her dad number she paused for a while. Its been 2 years since she had spoken to her dad. She had spoken to her mom few times but never to her dad. She pressed the dial button and walked outside towards her garden. When her ears heard the familiar voice she stood there holding the phone without saying anything. When her dad said “hello” again she cut the call. She looked at the sky and thought wonder why the gap between her and dad increased so much.

Jenny was so much absorbed in her thoughts that she didn’t realized Kegan was standing there and watching her. Kegan stood in silence watching the woman whom he love madly. Her lifeless smile, her sparkles eyes which hide their excitement every time they see him and her ….Before he could continue with what he was doing Jenny turned towards him.His eyes couldn’t miss the sparks which vanished within fraction of time. Jenny said “Wonder how come they didn’t teach you manners during training. People don’t like to be watched”. Kegan smiled and said “My manners vanish with thin air when I see the woman of my heart”. Jenny laughed and said “where you learned all this filmy dialogue?.  If you use those charming lines with some other gals they might fall for you head over heels. If not for those lines but will definitely fall for 6feet and broad shoulder so try out those cheap tricks on someone else but not on me…”. Kegan stood there watching her; his smile was disappeared. He closed the distance between them slowly, very slowly, with his eyes never leaving her face. When he stood in front of her he said “I never say such things if I don’t mean it”. He traced a finger across her cheekbone and said “I may not be your Ron and but I am the same man who loved you the moment my eyes fell on you, will love today and will love tomorrow. “ He smiled when he felt Jenny flinch on his touch. He said “and I know deep down inside you even you love me, You don’t have to tell me that I can read it in your eyes. Anyways be strong, eat well  and take care of my heart because I am leaving it with you. before she could say anything he bent and kissed her forehead and said “Bye Jenny, see you tomorrow in office”. Before she could come back to her senses he was gone. She stood there for a minute to realize what really happened.  She couldn’t understand why he kept on kissing her but not in sexual way but caring way. Its not that she didnt liked it its just that nobody kissed her that way not even Ron.

Mrs Lewis was watching her daughter-in-law through the kitchen window. She didn’t like the way that Army officer was behaving with Jenny. After all she was his Rons widow. But Mrs Lewis had seen the sparks in Jenny’s eyes when she had seen that army officer. She looked at Jenny’s lifeless face and said “if that’s what you want, I am with you”

Jenny tried to sleep but when couldn’t she sat on her bed. Her eyes were swollen crying. Still she could hear  what Mr Lewis had said “I like Kegan, very straight forward guy. Me and Rons mother we are getting old . Even Ron wanted the same thing for you….”.”Never!!!, my Ron wouldn’t want me to marry someone, love someone when he knows that how much I love him. I am gonna keep my promise and will wait for him. Who said he is dead. He is still alive. I can still feel him, still see him in my dreams….. When Jenny realized her voice was shaking she stood there watching the floor. She wiped her tears and said “Don’t force me dad, I still love Ron. How can I love someone else when I still love Ron?”. MRs Lewis’s cheeks were wet with tears. She said “Jenny, you are like a daughter to us. I cant see my daughter dying every day. All we are saying is think about it. Kegan seems to be a nice guy. He will keep you happy. May be he will love you more than Ron.”. Jenny said “Nobody can love some other man’s widow…nobody….. Fine, I will marry if that’s what you want me to do”. Saying that she walked away closing the door behind her. RJ followed her and she walked miles not knowing the time and miles.

Birds were flaying back to their nest, sun was eager to take days off, stars were trying to show their presence but Jenny didn’t stop walking. When her legs started to pain she realized how far she had walked. She was few miles away from her home. Knowing that MR Lewis and Mrs Lewis will get worried she checked her pockets thinking of calling them. When she couldn’t find her phone she cursed herself for her stupidity. She started to walk back thinking it wont long when a search party will be searching for her. “You seems to be lost and I am sure Mr Lewis is already on his way to search you”. When Jenny’s eyes fell on Karnal Saching Sharma she greeted him and said “I just came for walk with RJ, He loves walking as much as I do”.Sachin Sharma smiled and said “who doesn’t love walk. By the way I wanted to ask you something”. Saying that he paused. When he realized he had Jennys attention he said “I know its hard for you but I had to ask. By any chance Ron told you anything about some project or gave any document”. Jenny thought for a while and said “No Sir, as per my knowledge he never discussed his work with me. If you want I can ask my father may be he knows..” Sachin Sharma said in his steady voice “no Jenny, that wont be necessary, I will talk to him myself.  Jenny was about to ask him something when a car came and stopped near them. When Jennys eyes fell on the familiar figure she stood there motionless. The man who caused her somuch distress, so much pain sat there with his eyes on her.Before Jenny could say her fairwell to the old office Sachin Sarma said “looks like Mr Lewis alredy assigned task to this young man, you better hurry, see you around”. Saying that he walked away.

Standing in front of her he said “you can stand here as long as you want, I don’t mind waiting for you. In fact I love waiting for you. That’s what I am doing, but think about other people who are worried thinking about you. So it will save lote of time and energy if you get into car”.

“I will marry you Kegan not because i want to or not because you want to. I marry you because they want to. And Mark my words I will never love you. Till my death I will love Ron and Ron alone. Knowing this if you still want to marry me then boy all the very best…” Kegan smiled and Jennys eyes blinked. Wonder why she was attracted to this man she thought. He said in steady voice “Day is not far away when you voluntarily say you love me.” He looked into her eyes as if he is trying to read something. He said “Till then I will wait as I do now”.  Jenny said “then you have to wait long Kegan, I will never say that. Because I love Ron and always will love Ron, do you hear me, I love Ron till the end”. Walking towards her he shook her and said “Ron is dead, he never going to come back. Live with present not the past. Don’t waste you love and tears on someone who never going to come back. Ron I am always jelous of that….”. When Jennys right palm struck his cheek He stood there watching her.  He said “Truth is alwys bitter Jenny but don’t worry I will make sure Ron will never haunt you back” .Saying that He pressed his lips on hers. To Jenny’s surprise she responded. Kegan broke the kiss and said “day is not far when you think only about me, day is not far when you dream only about me and day is not far when you wait only for me remember that.”


New Life

Posted: August 30, 2014 in STORY


She was there, seated on a plastic chair and waiting patiently for her named to be called. The familiar Phenyl smell was making her stomach rock and role. She covered her nose with a tissue and grumbled when she saw the queue. When she didn’t know what else to do she started to study the pattern on the floor, her favorite game to kill the time. She liked those old marbles where small tiny different shapes cubes were displayed in a big square with light yellow background. She wondered why they don’t use such kind of marbles anymore. She always felt homely when saw those old marbles. It was nice, something to watch and search unlike those new plane square, single color marbles. So boring she thought. Sudden ambulance siren caught her attention and automatically her eyes moved towards the emergency room. With a curious crowd gathered around to see the patient and his condition she just wondered what status the patient will be in. When she couldn’t see the patient, she climbed the chair like  Zacchaeus who climbed the tree to see Jesus. When a familiar nurse came and told her to get down from the chair she smiled and assured them as soon as she saw the patient she will get down from the chair. It’s not that she is crazy; it’s just that she believed in solving her curiosity then and there. With nurse shouting at her and her politely convincing the nurse, ward guys brought in the new patient. As she was occupied by the nurse, she just had the glimpse of the patient. That terrific glimpse was enough for her to have nightmares for days. 25 to 26 year old guy, who was unconscious, bloody clothes, face, blood was everywhere. Some part of his body was bleeding, as the blood was everywhere she couldn’t make out which part of his body is badly injured. When she saw his legs twisted, she thanked God for guy’s unconsciousness to feel the pain. She was so lost in observing the patient; she didn’t realize that her name has been called. When the nurse arrived and said “at least now get down from the chair, Melissa”. She giggled and got down from the chair. She wiped the spot where she was standing on a chair with the tissue and said “Sorry darling, it won’t happen again” to the nurse and walked in to meet the waiting doctor.



Slowly he opened his eyes to see unfamiliar roof. He closed his eyes and opened them again, hoping to see something familiar. But when he couldn’t see the familiar roofing of his room, he tried to move. Killing pain in his knee made him stay still; Even though he was drowsy and his eyelids were closing he didn’t give up. Slowly he turned his head towards his left and saw an old man coughing continuously. Death would have been sweeter than old age, he thought. Then he turned towards his right to see a middle aged lady breathing with support of pipes. He wondered what kind of disease, she is suffering from. Then he realized he doesn’t have a clue what he is doing in ICU. He touched his head with his arm and realized there is big bandage on his head. He lifted his arms so that he can see them and was happy to see them wrapped in Plaster of Paris, at least he had them! Even though it was hurting with all his will he tried to move his leg. He let it go of his breath when he felt his right leg. With heart in his mouth, jaw clenched, he tried to touch his left leg. The terrible pain in the knee was the first doubt which caught his attention. With fingers crossed and remembering all the god’s names, he extended his hand again to make sure his left was there where it used to be. When he couldn’t feel anything below his knee, he shouted, he shouted so loudly, he cried, “NO!!! This couldn’t be happening, hell no, not my leg…… I can’t live like this……” He was shouting so loudly he was successful to grab other patient’s attention. Patients who were conscious just looked at him with pity and unconscious patient didn’t even bother to wake up from their sleep to see the reason for the guy’s misery. Then he remembered the accident, the terrible accident. He was in sinful speed and was overtaking a car when the bus from opposite side came and hit his bike. It was a head on collision. When he had seen the bus coming on to him, he had felt that death was his destiny.  Then he saw some doctors approaching him from his bed Doctors said “Be strong Samuel, thank God you are still alive, your parents on their way to Mangalore”. The guy said “Thank god, for becoming a cripple? Useless?” How I wish I had died in that accident. My parents, they know that their son can’t walk on his own I didn’t want to live like this, I don’t want to live” saying that again he started crying loudly. To ease his pain and to save another patient from seeing his misery doctor gave him an injection and guy drifted to sleep.



She was walking, slowly without making noise in the general ward. Her eyes were searching the guy everywhere. Thomas, a patient she knew saw her and asked “What are you doing in this freaking hospital today, pumpkin? You came to see your old man? Come give me a peck and go”. She said “Bit busy Thomas, will give that peck on Sunday, till then have some patience”. Thomas smiled and said “so you searching for that young lad, who lost his leg?” Her ears got alert, she walked towards Thomas gave her best smile and said “so you know where he is?” Thomas pointed his cheek with his forefinger and said “first this and then I’ll give you whereabouts of that cry baby. She gave him a peck on his cheek and said “now tell me!” Thomas giggled and said “he is in the big fancy room, sad thing they have to let go of his leg. Sometimes he cries, yells and shouts saying something so we call him cry baby. Anyways don’t give peck to that young lad; it’s not good for him”. Saying that he winked at her and said “go now, let the old man sleep. Take care Meli”. She said “sleep well Thomas; will see you on Sunday, saying that she started to walk towards the room where the young guy was put up. She knocked on the door twice, when nobody answered she pushed and the door and walked in slowly. There he was sleeping like a baby. She walked towards his bed and stood there watching him. His arm was fractured and his head was wrapped with a big bandage. His left leg was amputated below his knee and she felt the pain of the young guy. She knew it wouldn’t be easy for him to accept that he can’t walk and run like before. But still he has a wonderful life to live. She stood there watching him, wondering how the guy is taking this new situation. He looked around 25; his face was full of scary scars. Slowly she touched his cheek with the back of her hand. The guy slowly opened his eyes and was startled to see a young gal standing and watching him.


Him & Her

When he realized she is a total stranger, he asked “are you a thief? What are you doing in my room? There’s nothing to steal other than my remaining leg!!?” The sarcasm was enough for her to realize he is having a tough time taking in the news that he has only one leg now. She moved to the extra bed, threw her sling bag on the bed and sat there “So the cry baby speaks? Wow, I thought he knew only to cry!!” He said “Cry baby!! How dare you call me that? Who the hell are you? And what are you doing in my room?” She interrupted him in between and said “how dare me? Everyone calls you by that name, the sexy nurses, doctors, other patients, and so no big deal. When somebody cries whole day telling how he wants to die people do notice such weirdoes. Anyways, who is babysitting you in the hospital? Are you all alone? ”

He looked at her angrily and said “I am not a baby to keep eye on me, I am a grown up, I can take care of myself. I am just crippled that’s all”. She smiled and said “wow! You got a sharp tongue there cry baby. Where is your mom?” He swore and said “Why I should tell you? Who are you again? Dare you call me CRY baby!!

She looked at him seriously for a second and burst out laughing saying “Dare!!?? Hahahha cry baby, cry baby….. Should I continue?” The guy said “Are you from adjacent mental hospital? Did you escape from your ward or something?”

She looked at his eyes and walked towards him and said “Crazy!! Yes, I am crazy. What’s life without a little bit craziness!! She took a deep breath and said “Whatever you say Sam, all call you cry baby. Anyways, I am hungry, you have anything to eat? I didn’t have my breakfast and it’s already 11.30”.

He gave her a weird look and said “Get out of my room, before I ring the bell, get lost!!” She giggled, looking at him and said “Did I stamp on your tail tiger? May be some fruits might be there in the cupboard” saying that she opened the cupboard and started searching.

“Why can’t you people just leave me in peace? Nuns, priests, some pathetic strangers come to see me. They stand, watch and pity my condition. Bible phrases, thank god you are still alive and give some lame example. I know back of their head they say “Poor thing, crippled will be burdened to his parents”. I don’t want their cursed pity; I don’t want anything, why can’t they let me die in peace”.

She sat on his bed looked at him and laughed loud and said “You care what people think, seriously? What’s with your head? Why it bothers you what people think? People are just doing their business; talk, gossip. Don’t let them get into you.” She wiped his tears with the tissue from the table and said “Such a cry baby!!” He held her hand pulled her close so that he can see her face more clearly. As she was not prepared for this she lost her balance and almost fell on him. With her hands, she was trying to save herself from falling on him completely. With his breath on her face and eyes scanning her whole face, she was wondering what he is going to do next, even though she was scared she didn’t move. The pulse on his cheek was a raw sign of his anger. Before she could move back he slapped her across the face and said “I told you not to call me that. Now get out of here.” She smiled, looking at him and said “If you feel good slapping me then go ahead my other cheek is waiting”. He hid a surprise listening to her, pushed her back and said “just go, I don’t want to see you and any of your kind”. She touched her redden cheek and said “It hurts; nobody can tell that you are a patient”. She picked her bag from the bed put it across her neck sideways and said “Nice meeting you Samuel, see you soon”. Saying this, she kissed him on his cheek and walked out of his room. If her reaction left him with confusion, then the kiss that followed confirmed she is craziest woman he ever met.



His eyes were on roof while his mind was analyzing the events that just happened. It’s been quite some time since he shifted to this room. He had seen nuns, priest, total strangers visiting him and talking to him with pity and sympathy. But this gal was different, there was something about her made him fight and chase her out. He didn’t see sympathy or pity in her eyes, instead her eyes seems to understand his pain. She was around 23 and weird. With lean body and 5.4 feet, she looked pretty with her glasses on. Smart or not she was crazy. He smiled, thinking about the peck on his cheek.

He was feeling guilty as he had slapped her, but he couldn’t help himself. When he looked at her so closely all he wanted to do was hug her and cry, tell her the pain he is going through, tell her about the demons he is fighting with, tell her about his suicidal thought. But instead he slapped her; he wanted her to go because he did not want people to see him breaking down. He knew the nurses and doctors call him cry baby behind his back, but never in front of him. But this gal had called him cry baby in spite of knowing his name. He punched at the bed with frustration. He looked at his amputated leg and swore.  Every time he closed his eyes, her face came back floating in front of his eyes. He hadn’t lost his calm since his mother arrived from the gulf. He didn’t want her to worry about him. When she was not around, his tears found their way down the cheek, no matter how hard he tried at the end he lost his battle over tears and pain.



Even though her cheek hurt she walked with head high. Her heart was beating fast and was dancing to its own tune. When he had looked at her so closely with intense eyes, she was stoned, she couldn’t move even though she wanted to. He had surprised her by slapping. She smiled and touched her cheek and said “guy got the guts to slap me and he’s crazy like me.  I like that”. She started to whistle slowly forgetting it’s a hospital. It’s then a nurse stopped her. She was happy to see the same nurse; she had met a few days back. She said “Sorry darling won’t repeat it. Anyways, how you are doing?” The nurse looked at her and said “good, how you doing Melissa? What you do here on weekdays?” She gave her one of the best smile and said “just came to see how my darling is doing”. The nurse walked away smiling. She stopped, turned towards her and said “see you on Sunday”.


Sunday: Him and Her

She was walking towards the general ward when her eyes fell on Thomas, who was seated on a bench outside. In his same old clean clothes he looked happy. With his jovial nature everybody loved this old man’s company. When he saw her, his face lit up like 100W bulb he said “Hey there pretty gal, how you doing? Came to see your old man?” She walked towards him, gave him a flower, then a tight hug, kissed on his cheek and said “terrific Thomas, how are you? Anyways whom are you waiting here? That’s pretty old nurse on whom you had crush? Old man winked at her and said “Was waiting for you, I want to meet your young lad, take me with you“. She helped him to stand and said “You don’t like reckless youth, what made you visit this fella?” Thomas held her shoulder for support while walking and said “Just want to see your taste.” He winked at her. As they were walking he said “There’s a sad news honey, Imama left us yesterday morning, he went in his sleep, Couldn’t get time to say farewell. Guess what, he must be enjoying with Raj and Madhu, those buggers must be partying in there”. He pointed out his finger towards the roof indicating heaven. She kissed him on his cheek again and said “Chill Thomas, until I am here, we party here, and we will make them jealous”.

She stopped in front of the door and said “We are here, behave yourself, cry baby is still recovering, you have a sharp tongue“. He winked at her and said “You know me, I talk less.”

She knocked at the door twice. When a lady opened the door, she thought it must be Sam’s mother. Dark circle under her eyes were the proof of her sleepless nights. Thomas whispered in her ears, “You didn’t tell me that cry baby’s mom was babysitting him!”  She shushed Thomas and wished Sam’s mother and walked in with old man followed by Sam’s mother.

As soon as they entered Sam automatically turned to see the visitor. There was a spark in his eyes when he recognized his visitor, which was difficult to miss. Thomas winked at her and said “What did you do? Kissed him on his lips? The guy likes you.” She gave a serious look at Thomas and turned towards him.

She said “waass up, how are you doing?” He chuckled and said “You came back again? Don’t you have shame? This time you bought your grandfather with you!” he said, eyeing Thomas. Thomas said “Correction cry baby, I am her friend, you see, pal. Anyways, I am Thomas.” Saying this, Thomas sat on the adjacent bed.

She slowly took out the flowers she bought and gave to him. He looked at her and then back at the flowers and said “What for? I am still alive.” Thomas said “She bought it in advance for your fune…” She interrupted him and said “Thomas, mind your tongue”. The old man said “I am not going to sit here listening to arrogant talk. I am going back”. Saying this, he looked at Sam’s mother and said “Can you please take me back to my ward.”

She stood there watching Thomas leave with Sam’s mother. She put the flowers in a glass jar, filled it with water and said “Your tongue is sharp which means you are doing well”. He said “You came back for your next slap on your pretty cheek?” She stood near his bed so that’s easily he can reach her and pointed out her cheek and said “Here I am, go ahead, if it helps then be my guest”.

He made an angry sound in his throat and said “Crazy lady, don’t make me do things which I regret later.” She smiled at him and said “So cry baby you regret slapping me?” He lowered his voice and said “I am sorry, I never hit ladies, and it’s just… I don’t know I just lost my calm.” She winked at him and said “Cry baby is apologizing! Hard to believe; Anyways, would you like to have a tour? He looked at her with a question mark on his face. She said “You know I could show you around the hospital. ”

After 30 minutes she was taking him around the hospital on wheel chair. She was talking to him and he was all silent as if her voice didn’t reach his ears. He was thinking his life never going to be same. The way his girlfriend avoided talking to him, he knew even his friends will leave him soon. He is crippled now and dependent. He can neither ride his bike nor drive the car and take them on long drives, who want to have such a friend!!!. He looked at her, she was smiling at someone, she looked happy. He thought maybe she doesn’t have a clue how miserable he is. He signed her to stop the wheelchair. She stopped and waited for him to say something. He said slowly with teary voice, “Take me back, I still want time to face the reality, I am not ready.” She pulled out her tissue from the pants gave to him and said “You will never be ready Sam, take it easy and trust me.” She pressed his arm slowly and pushed the wheelchair. They stopped in front of the pediatric ward and said “Just relax ok, don’t worry.” They entered the pediatric ward. Walls were painted with different colors, Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse were at the center of the wall, slides and wings were at the corner. Some kids looked up for a minute scared whether nurse came with an injection. But when they realized its common people they got back to their game. He saw some kids who were affected by polio. They were playing and laughing happily.  She pushed the wheelchair further and stopped in front a cradle. She smiled at him and said “Meet Esther” saying that she lifted up a baby without limbs and arms. She was a tiny little thing wrapped in all bandages. When she looked at them, she smiled and made a sweet baby noise. She said “she’s 6 months old. When her parents got to know that she doesn’t have arms and limbs they left her here soon after her birth. They didn’t want to take the burden, you see.  So they just left her here. Doctors and nurses are taking care of her.  She’s everybody’s favorite because she is special. Look into her eyes, and you can see your soul in that. Saying this, she gave the baby to him to hold. He held her and looked into her eyes. Baby smiled and made an approving sound. Tears flooded down his cheek. He held the baby closer and he saw his soul in Esther eyes, he saw the strong will to live, will to be happy no matter what. She patted his back and said “Stop pitying yourself; you have your whole life in front of you. Smile, be happy, I know it’s hard but you have to try.” He looked at her and smiled with all tears on his face. She wiped his tears and said “cry baby is crying again.” He gave the baby back to her and said “Thank you, thank you for bringing me here.” She winked at him and said “Anytime cry baby.” She kept the baby back in the cradle and said “Ready to go back?” He nodded his head and said “Are you not taking me to see Thomas?”

When they reached back to his room after meeting Thomas, he was exhausted. After shifting from wheelchair to bed he told her to come near him. She stood there looking at him while he pulled her into his embrace and said “Thank you. You don’t know how miserable I was, but when I saw Ester I knew I am luckier than her.” He increased his grip hugged her tighter and said “Thank you for everything.”

When he let her go she knew he is a changed man now. Self-pity was vanished, there was no pain or misery instead she saw joy, will power.  He said “You know my girlfriend dumped me after the accident, my friends didn’t come to see me.”

She held his hand said “It happens, don’t let that get in your way, time rolls people move, you will make new friends.” He held his hand in front of her and looked at her and said “Will you be my friend like how Thomas said pal?” She giggled and said “I don’t make friends with cry baby.” Saying this she kissed him on his cheek and said “Bye Sam, take care.”

He looked at her and said “You kiss only me? Or….” she looked at him directly in his eyes and said “Who do you think you are? Beckham?”  He laughed loud and said “Hell no! I am Samuel, the cry baby.”



He was happy man now. All he wanted was to get out of the hospital and move on with his life. As his bandages had to change everyday doctor had told him to stay for two more weeks. People, strangers used to visit him and pity him on his condition, but he never let them get into his spirit as she said. Whenever he was bored, he used go out and visit Esther and then chat with Thomas and come back to his room. He made some new friends in hospital. He never cried after that. Even though his mother never showed her pain, he could understand her.

From Thomas he got to know her name is Melissa. She likes it when people call her “Meli” she visits them only on Sundays. According to Thomas, he was her best friend. Earlier there was a big gang of 5, Melissa, Thomas, Imama, Raj and Madhu. After Imama, Madhu and Raj’s death, Thomas had become very close to Meli. He looked at the pic which Thomas had sent him. She was kissing Thomas cheek while Thomas was winking at the camera. He had got her number from Thomas on one condition that he won’t disturb her. Many times he had a crazy urge to call her and talk to her, but then he decided it is better not to call her.


Sunday: Him and Her

It was Sunday and as usual Thomas was all ready and waiting for Meli. Thomas was not alone this time; Sam was there beside him waiting. Thomas had laughed seeing the lad’s impatience; he had asked the guy to go to his room many times. He didn’t want to share his special moment with Meli with this guy. But the guy didn’t budge. Finally she showed up waving at them. Thomas looked at her and then at the young lad, the way they were communicating each other with eyes was evident enough that there’s something more than friendship

She gave the flower to Thomas and kissed him on his cheek and greeted him. Thomas winked at the young guy and said “Don’t look at me like that my guy, I am her friend not grandpa“. She pinched Thomas on his cheek and said “Should tell the nurse to give you some more injections.” Thomas walked towards his ward and said “Off you two love birds, let this old man take a nap.” She waved at him and turned towards Sam and gave the flower. He smiled, looking at the flower, when she didn’t give the peck he said “I thought you are going to give me a peck!!” She said “Don’t think too much cry baby.” When he realized she’s not going to give him peck he wheeled his chair near her and hugged her waist and said “I missed you Meli, missed you badly.” She touched his head with her hand and said “cry baby, did a good R&D on me, found my name, number, address. I was disappointed that you didn’t call!” He chuckled and said “Bugger Thomas told you everything!!” She smiled and said “he is my best friend remember, he doesn’t hide anything from me”.

He told her to take him to Esther.

After meeting Esther they went back to his room. As his mom was not there she lay on the adjacent bed on the TV and started changing the channels. He said “Will you come and visit me tomorrow? Next Sunday I won’t be here.” She off the TV turned towards him and said “Where are you going? Isn’t it too early for you to leave“? He said, “I am going to Bombay for treatment” She got up from the bed stood near the balcony door and said “It’s too early Sam, don’t go now, and stay here for some more time.” Without her knowledge she was begging him to stay. He said “Hey, I am going now to come back soon, trust me, it’s just that I want to start up with this treatment, I want to walk again, run again.” She turned her back towards him, picked her bag and said “Ok, you go ahead, go to Bombay, but don’t come back to this cursed hospital.” Saying this, she walked out of the room.

He thought she would be happy to know that he’s thinking about his future, but instead she was angry, her actions confused him.

It was getting dark, but she didn’t care. She walked inside his room slowly without making sound. He was sleeping; his blanket had fallen on the floor. She saw the bandage around his amputated leg. She knew it, she didn’t have any rights to stop him, but she didn’t want him to leave so early. She wanted to spend some more time with him. She picked the blanket and covered him with it. She pushed his hair back from his forehead and watched him sleeping. His mother walked in was surprised to see her. His mother said “He slept just now“. She said “Ok, I just came to see him, wanted to know whether he is doing ok. Anyways, it’s getting dark I better leave.” Saying this, she turned to leave but then he caught her hand and said “Not without saying hi to me.” He signaled his mother to go out so that he can talk to her. He pulled her close so that she can sit on the bed. She helped him to sit on the bed. He looked into her eyes and said “Tell me what the hell you are doing here at this time of hour what is bothering you?” She looked very sad and it bothered him. She said “What will bother me cry baby? I just came to see you. Now, what I should ask your permission for that as well?” He looked at her and don’t know what happened to him before he know what he’s doing he was kissing her. She responded and then giggled, touched his face and said “Didn’t come back for this, definitely!!” He touched her face and said “I know that Meli, You kiss me on the cheek and I kissed you, on your lips for a change, I don’t know about you, but I liked it.” He nodded, seeing her face as if he understood the reason for her arrival and said “I’ll be gone only for a few months, before you have time to look at other guys, I’ll be back. Trust me“. She smiled and turned her back towards him and said “Silly me, over reacted. Anyways, why I should care when you come? None of my business, right!” He said “Turn around, look into my eyes and tell me that.” She slowly turned, looked into his eyes and said “Why should I do as you say cry baby, I don’t like to take orders, I like to do as I wish. Anyways, I better hurry, saying that she started walking. He chuckled and said “See you tomorrow, don’t be late, I’ll be waiting for the peck.” She walked away smiling.


Him and her

Next day she visited him, as he expected. They visited Esther and Thomas. They went to the garden and talked in silence. He felt with this crazy gal by his side, he can climb any mountain with one leg. She may not have said that she loves him, but deep down inside he felt it. He asked her “Why you visit the hospital on Sundays? Why you visit all strangers and talk to them? Are you kind of socialist?” She laughed so hard that tears were rolling down her cheek. She looked like an angel when she laughed he thought. She said “A person needs to be socialist to visit the hospital? I am no socialist, but I like to visit hospitals and meet people suffering there. It’s kind of fun, meet strangers, talk to them, and listen to their painful stories…” He said “Glad you do that; else I wouldn’t have met you.”

Days rolled without waiting for anyone. She visited him every day. She spent every single minute with him. She seems to understand him very well that in fact surprised him.

It was Saturday, their last day together. She had come early morning with a bunch of red roses. With one piece flower printed dress she looked stunning. With her hair left free and glasses gone, she looked as if she had come on date. When he saw her all he wanted to do was hold her and make her stay with him forever. That thought surprised him because he never felt that way. As usual, they visited Esther and Thomas. When Thomas had seen her he had winked at her and whispered in her ears, “You never exposed those sexy legs for me, but look at you all smiling and dressed to kill for that lover guy of yours”. She had kissed him on his cheek and said “From tomorrow I’ll come in skirts for you, happy? Let the cry baby have his share, last day in hospital.”  After meeting Thomas they had sat in the garden holding hands as if they never wanted to part. He had said “I am going to miss hospital, I know I sound funny.” She had laughed and said “you crazy cry baby, you know what you are saying? You should be happy that you are leaving.” He had held her more tightly and said “I miss hospital because I am going to miss everything related to it. Esther, Thomas and You. Are you going to miss me Meli?” A sudden question caught her off guarded. She calmly said “Why I should miss cry baby? Some new handsome guy will come and replace you, trust me honey, I am not going to miss you.” He looked at her eyes which told him the truth he wanted to know and said “Glad you say that!” Once they were back in the room they watched “50 first dates” together. He had said while watching movie “If you ever lose your memory, then don’t worry, I’ll be always there to remind you about me, you and us.”

As he was feeling exhausted, he fell asleep at the end of the movie. When he had opened his eyes in the evening he was overwhelmed seeing his room decorated with flowers and balloons. He had searched the room for her, the only person he wanted to see. She was in balcony talking to someone on the phone. He was jealous about the person who was talking to her. As her dress was flying due wind, he had glimpses of her legs and a little more in the dim balcony light. When his eyes moved up, he realized she was watching him. She said “You like what you see cry baby?” He said “Yeah, so is this a date?” She smiled and said “No, we are having candle light dinner. You, me, Thomas and your mom as it’s your last dinner in hospital thought will make is special“. When he got to know that his mother and Thomas are joining them, he made a weird face and said “Oh great! Why don’t you invite doctors and the pretty nurse?” She smiled and said “Good idea, I’ll invite them too.”

Candles were glowing everywhere the room was filled with bright rays of light. One look at the room and nobody would say it’s a hospital. They had their dinner chatting this and that. It was late night when they went to bed. Understanding Sam’s wish his mother left the room for her and him and went with Thomas.

She was cleaning the room while he was watching the TV. After closing the door, she came back and lay on his bed beside him. He moved aside and made some space for her. He said “Thank you for today, I am never going to forget this day in my lifetime.” She kissed him on his lips and said “Neither do I, it is the best day of my life”. He wrapped his arm around her, pulled her towards him and said “Just a few months, and I’ll be back, my promise to you. We can live happily ever after.” She giggled and said “Life is not fairy tale Sam, only lucky people get happy ending not all.” Saying this, she slept on his chest. He inhaled her perfume smell, he kissed her forehead and said “I don’t know about others, but I am going to give a happy ending to our story.” Saying this, he covered her with a blanket and closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

It was dawn when he opened his eyes to see her sleep with hand wrapped across his neck. He smiled, looking at her. Every morning he wanted to wake up like that he thought. The woman he loved in arms, a lovely way to start. He woke her up and said “Good morning star, rise and shine. She opened her eyes and closed it again and tried to sleep. He said with steady voice “When I lost my leg, all I wanted to do was die, I wanted to commit suicide; I didn’t have any interest to live. I was dying every day with my self-pity, but then god sent me an angel, who made me realize I can do all possible things like any other guy. With you beside me I can do all possible things, trust me, you are my strength.” He kissed her hand and looked into her closed eyes and continued ”I know any girl wouldn’t want to marry a guy with one leg, but trust me I’ll keep you happy, we are good together, you know that. Would you like to marry this cry baby?”

Hearing him out she opened her eyes, looked at him and said “Don’t you have a flight to catch to Bombay? You should hurry up, it’s getting late.” He stopped her from getting down from bed held her hand and said “You didn’t answer me”. She said “When you come back, you will get your answer”.

He said fair well to Esther and Thomas. He hugged the old man and said “I’ll be back soon, till then take care of my girl old man. Thomas smiled at him, showed his thumbs up and said “You know, I will”. She was wheeling him towards his mother near the waiting car when he said “I’ll be waiting for your answer Meli. Take your time, I will be back to take what belongs to me.”

She helped him to get into the car and said “Sure cry baby, hope to see you soon”. Saying that she kissed him on his cheek and said “Take care, come back soon”. When she was about to move, he hugged her for the last time kissed her hard on the lips and said “I love you Meli”.

She stood there waving at the disappearing car with the man she started to love the most. She stood there till the car was disappeared from her sight and slowly said “I love you too Sam”


They were in contact with each other by phone and whats app, thanks to technology. Even though they were far way they never felt it that way. He will tell her about the treatment and she used to update him about the hospital, Esther and Thomas. She was glad that he was getting better and soon will be able to walk again with an artificial leg.  He was counting days, more than anything he wanted to be with the woman he loved. He had the urge to catch the first flight to Mangalore and visit her but he waited. He wanted her to see him walking with his two legs. He counted the days, hour’s minute and finally the day came.


Him and Her

It was hot sunny day of summer when he walked into the hospital wearing his tuxedo with a bunch of red flowers in hand. Even though it was hot like frying pan he wore it for the sake of the woman he loved. Today is the day he’s going to get the answer to his question he asked 1 year ago. As it was Sunday hospital looked empty. He smiled at the nurse whom she used to call as Darling. She smiled back at him and said “good to see you”. He winked at her as he walked past her. He got many appreciation looks by passerby, but he didn’t care. He thought they wouldn’t have looked at him at all few months back. He walked into general ward and stood in front of Thomas. The old man opened his eyes and said “Finally, the cry baby returns!” He looked at the blooming roses and said “They’re defiantly not for me. Good to see you lad”. He kissed Thomas on the cheek and said “good to see you buddy. Where is she? She told me to meet in hospital”. Thomas said “You better call her and check”.

He dialed her phone number with heart in his mouth and waited quietly to listen to her voice. He said “where you hiding? I searched you everywhere”. She said “Come to your old room, I am waiting there.  Same old place where we met for the first time, have a surprise for you”. He disconnected the call and started walking towards his room where he was admitted months ago.

He waited outside the door, knocked twice and walked holding the flowers in front of him, expecting her to wait in the balcony with her hair left free and her dress flying due to wind. That’s the way he imagined to find her. But when he walked, he was shocked to see her lying on the bed with drips. With her hair gone her skull was shining in the light. She looked so thin that he could count her bones. Tears were rolling, he never thought he would cry in his lifetime, but he was wrong.  He stood there watching her smiling at him. She winked at him and said “Wow, dressed to kill cry baby? You look sexy”. Saying this, she winked at him. He removed his jacket, threw it on the adjacent bed and walked towards her and hugged her and said “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come you know that, don’t you? Why didn’t you tell me?” She hugged him back and said smilingly “What to tell cry baby. I am good, I am happy that you are able to walk again.” He lost control over his emotions and hugged her more tightly that he could feel her bone. When he realized he is hurting her he loosened the grip, looked at her face with teary eyes and said “Since when you are in hospital? And for heaven’s sake, what happened to you. ?” She picked the roses he dropped on the bed and said “Wow, I love roses, they are so lovely”. He barked at her, “Answer me!” She leaned backwards so that her back is supported by the wall and said “3 months, I am doing well, never been better”. He walked away from her, moved his finger in his hair and said with frustration “why didn’t you inform me earlier, what happened? Why are you in hospital?” When he realized again, she’s going to avoid his question he said with firm voice “Don’t play with me woman, answer me”. She said “Leukemia. Doctors are surprised to see my progress. I am doing great, you see. Now you are here, soon I’ll be discharged. Anyways, did you meet Esther? She is so grown up now. You know something willing parents can adopt her. Nice thing right.” He walked towards her, kissed her hard on lips as if he is punishing himself for not being there when she needed him the most, punishing himself for not coming earlier”. He broke the kiss and touched her cheek and said “Will be right back”. With that said he was gone

He visited Esther. With twinkling eyes, she looked so beautiful. He lifted her in his arms and cried in front of her. Esther looked at him with innocent eyes as if she’s listening to him. When he thought he got the control over his emotions he walked to Thomas. He had some questions whose answer, he was dying to hear. Thomas smiled at him and said “she’s not doing well. Good thing you came back. I wanted to call you back, but she stopped me, stopped me saying we can’t be selfish and you will be worried. She is in the final stage, nobody can save her.” Thomas was crying now. He said with a teary voice “nobody can save her. Doctors didn’t have any hope that she will live so long. Guess she was not ready to leave this world before seeing you walk. She is a fighter. I visit her every day; I know how bad her condition is. Sometimes she doesn’t eat, she just pukes whole day, Chemo’s are bad, you see. No matter what condition she is in, she waits for your call.” Thomas stopped for a while so that he can digest whatever he just heard

“You know how we became friends? She had come for chemotherapy with her mother; she was very unhappy and sad. She didn’t want to live; all she talked about was death.  That’s when we, I, Imama, Raj and Madhu met her. You haven’t met other friends because they already passed away.  Starting she was a bit shy to interact with us. May be she was dying with her own self-pity everyday so she had a tough time to digest the bitter truth about the disease. It was evident that her dreams were shattered. She stopped going to college because other students kept on talking about her and the disease.  But as time passed she started to gel up with us. She had wept when she saw a 3 year old kid coming for chemo session. That’s the last I saw her crying. She never cried after that. She visits the hospital on Sunday and spends some time with cancer patients. She comes; she brings flowers and gives us strength to live. No matter how hard it is for her, she never shows her misery. First time when you came to the hospital, she was curious to know about you. I saw her determined face and I knew it she going to help you. She was there in the same place where you were earlier. I knew she will succeed in her mission. But never thought she would lose her heart in the process.” Thomas stopped for a while took a deep breath and said “Go now, spend your time with her, don’t tell her that I told you all this. She doesn’t like when people talk behind her back”.

He stood there motionless with a heavy heart. He thought bad part of his life is over, but he didn’t have a clue about what was yet to come. He walked outside and punched his fist on the wall and cursed. The nurse whom he had met earlier saw him and said “Be strong, she needs you. Be her strength like she was yours”.

He walked back to her room. With flowers, holding tight to her chest, she was sleeping. He stood there watching her in the silence of the dark. Slowly he walked towards her bed lay down next to her and held her weak body in his arms. She woke up, but then she recognized him she smiled and said “What took you so long? Did you see Esther, doesn’t she look pretty”. With her head on his chest, he could feel her week breathe.  “Yeah, she looks so cute. Anyways, did I tell you that I love you?” saying that he kissed her forehead. She smiled at him and said “Yeah, you told me last time we said fair well”. He held her close and said “there won’t be any more fair well so chill. I am not going to leave you that easily you see. I am a parasite once I make my place on a living creature I don’t leave them”. She said “Yeah, unless the host dies”. He stopped her saying further and said “Nobody going to die, I had rough time I am over it; you are having rough time you will get over it. Trust me, When we both are together we can fight any war”. She turned her head so that she can see his face more clearly. With his eyes assuring and broad smile on his face, she knew it, he was fighting like she is. She slapped across his face and said “Now we are even!” They both laughed out loud. He showed his other cheek and said “Come on now, other one is waiting.”  She kissed his cheek which he was pointing out and said “I love you too, now go back to bed, good night”. He said “not yet” saying that he kissed her on her lips and said “now, good night”.

That’s the last conversation, in fact, last meeting he had with her. She left him alone in this world the same day he visited her. Thomas was heartbroken to digest the fact he was alone left out of their group. The whole hospital mourned for her loss.

For him it was beyond imagination. One minute she was there smiling and laughing, the next minute she was gone. He knew why she came into his life, she came to guide him and help him. She was her guardian angel who left him in middle of the road. He didn’t have any idea how he will come out of his misery.



A week later he walked into the same hospital holding Esther in one hand and flowers in another. With Esther smiling at him and he looking down at her they made a perfect picture. He visited Thomas and introduced his new daughter to him. He had adopted Esther the same day she left him. She came like a ray in his life and she wanted him to be a ray in others life. He smiled, looking at Thomas holding Esther. He kissed the old man on his cheek and said “time to go grandpa”. Thomas raised his eye brows while he corrected “I was telling on behalf of Esther” He walked away holding his daughter in his arms and heart filled with joy, the joy of starting a new life with his daughter.


Posted: July 7, 2014 in STORY

With greenery shining all around the place Kammaje wouldn’t have looked prettier, a small village near Kinnigoli town. Jackfruit and banyan trees on either side of the road increased the beauty of the place. Some of the people here were agriculturists with vegetable growing in their backyard, while another few had jasmine flowers, few more were beedi workers and the remaining were in the gulf, pouring their sweat to make their dear one’s life a happy one, back in Kammaje. Among these people lived an old man called Bommayya. With dirty stinking clothes that were white eons, torn Luna slippers and small star shaped silver earrings. Earrings were worn by men back then, not for fashion, but as a religious custom. Even though he was around 70 with gray hair, worn out body, knee pain didn’t stop him from earning his daily bread. In that whole of Kammaje and Kinnigoli there was only one Cowboy and he was Bommayya. Unlike the imaginary fancy cowboy on horseback with boots Bommayya was a real cowboy on his feet and slippers.


 Dark clouds dominating the sky, it looked like it would rain any minute and the showers would pour from up above. While people were all busy collecting logs of wood, dry coconut leaves outside their house to save it from rain, Bommayya was calling names out loud without worrying about the rain. Inka, Bannu, Inna…. When he didn’t get any response he increased his speed, cursing the cause of his worries. The eye blinding lightning, the roaring thunder was unable to shake his gut. It was his love for his cows that made him walk faster in spite of his paining knee.

“Enchina saav maryere!” making me search for them in this bad weather. Let me get my hands on them and I’ll show them what I’ll do, saying this he continued to walk.  Birds were flying back to their nest, somewhere in the background frogs were crying to indicate that the most awaited rain is on its way to shower on the dried lands. Bommayya stood for a while under the big mango tree near Jilly Bai’s house and then his eyes danced listening to the familiar Moo of his cows. When he saw them tied he said “so again, you ladies went to her farm!! Again, my ears will bleed listening to her complaints, and then I have to compensate by giving her free manure. He walked towards his cows and patted their back with love and said “why don’t you listen to me? Huh?”

“How many times I have told you Bommayya to keep them out of my farm?” Jilly Bai’s loud firm voice startled him. Old broken specs perched on her nose, wrinkled up face, gray hair and bent back Bommayya wondered why she still works on the farm. Her sons were well settled in Bombay,wonder why she’s dying here alone on this farm Bommayya thought. Politely he folded his arms as if asking her forgiveness and said “Sorry Jilly Bai, I know this is not the first time, I don’t know why they always come to your farm. Next month you will get the manure, on hearing this, her face lit like 100W bulb. It was like patient’s craving matched with a doctor’s prescription. Jilly Bai wiped her hands with her sari and said “if you insist, then who I am to say no. Anyway take the cows and go, it’s going to pour soon. Saying thank you to Jilly bai he untied the cows he started walking them home.

Bommayya’s father Tukra was into toddy business and mother Nursy was a house wife, being the only kid Bommayya enjoyed his early childhood. But when his father fell from a palm tree and died, Bommayya realized his life is not going to be easy. He, along with his mother moved to his paternal uncle’s house in Kateel. With his mother into jaggery business he went to school only till class 3. He never felt that education will help him earn some money that’s why he quit school and joined his mother in the jaggery business.

Bommayya was in his late twenties when he met Devaki, a widow. Her loneliness or his loneliness he doesn’t know what made him fall in love with her. He started to visit her daily in the night.  Sometimes Bommayya would tell her his worries, troubles and Devaki would listen to him with all ears. He never gave a name to his relationship with Devaki because he never felt the need; he never cared about the society which he lived in.

When his mother questioned him about his relationship with Devaki, he lost his calm and fought with her. When he realized he can never make her mother understand his relationship with Devaki,  he left his mother for good and started to live in a small house near Kammaje. He bought some cows with the little money he had and started to earn money with its manure and milk. With time he learnt everything about the cows, their diseases, cures, mating time, breeding, milking, etc. As he didn’t own any land he would take his cows to the forest owned by government to graze early in the morning, sit with them for a while, talk to them, and tell them his sorrows, his only listeners who never complained. Later he would untie them in the forest to enjoy a little bit of freedom and come home. Most of the time the cows would wander in the jungle and then come back home in the evening whenever Nishmitha bus pass through the main road. That’s the unique routine the cows followed. Whenever they fail to return to home on time Bommayya would walk and search for his cows until he find them. Many a times he had walked till Kinnigoli searching his cows inquiring passerby about his cows.

Men can suppress their need for marriage, craving for kids, but women can’t. Devaki started pressurizing Bommayya to get married and start a family, but Bommayya became mute to Devaki’s pleads. When he couldn’t take it anymore of Devaki’s nagging he started to drink liquor. He would drink daily and come home and pick up a fight with Devaki. When Devaki couldn’t take his tortures she left him never to come back. Depressed Bommayya vowed to never fall in love again. With the cows by his side, Bommayya never felt alone.

When his mother passed away, he mourned for days. He never felt so lonely and abandon his entire life.


One fine morning Bommayya was taking his cows to graze in the forest. While crossing the road one of the cows started running seeing a vehicle, Bommayya tried to control the cow but he couldn’t when the cow increased its speed, its then Bommayya lost his balance and fell on the ground. Bommayya was hurt badly, with bruises all over the body, bleeding head, with great difficulty he reached home and held a cloth to his bleeding wounds. As he was scared that if he goes to the hospital, they will admit and there will be no one to look after his cows, so he stayed at home bearing all pain without cribbing. Seeing his bad condition his good Samaritans neighbor bought him food and fed his cows.

In the passing days when it was impossible for him to move, he cried from his bed thinking about his cows. His neighbors forcefully took him to the Mangalore’s government hospital and admitted him in. His hands and legs were plastered and he begged the nurses to let him go as there was no one to take care of his cows.

After two weeks when the doctor let him go saying to look after himself. He was happy with the fact that over the moon as he will be seeing his cows after a gap of two weeks. When he reached home he was devastated to see his empty cow hut. He called them by their name, he called louder, but no cow showed up. He waited till evening, but his wait turned unfruitful. Its then his neighbors told him that few of his cows were stolen and remaining cows were sold by a rich Konkana guy. He knocked on his door in the midnight, cursed him, his ancestors, he cried and yelled. There were no words to describe about his misery. Konkana guy to shut Bommayya’s mouth gave some money and told him to get lost. With the little money in his pocket Bommayya looked at the sky and said “you punish me, I don’t care but why my cows?”. He wiped his tears then and said “I will get you all back”,

Few of his cows which were bought by some of his neighbors returned his cows free of cost pitying him. There was not a single day when Bommayya wondered about his missing cows and cried. He wondered whether they are fed properly in somebody’s house, or slaughtered for meat.

It was monsoon season; his old house couldn’t take the heavy weight of rain and collapsed. With mud-wall leveled to the ground and roof gone, Bommayya made the nearby bus stop as his home, with water pouring in from all sides. He never complained about anything, in fact, he never felt happy, his cow by his aside he felt content and peaceful.

Old age was the only thing holding up Bommayya from doing his daily chores. His eye sight blurred and his joint pain increased, but still he took the cows for grazing daily.

When Bommayya’s old heart changed its beating pattern he wondered what will happen to his cows if he died. He was admitted to same hospital again by his neighbors. Doctor never thought he would make it. With his senses gone, he talked about his cows with other patients over and over again. Sometimes he would call his cows name loudly and say “come home, it’s late, it’s getting darker. The strangers will take you, come home, come to me”.

In his absence, his cows were stolen again and dragged to the slaughter house. Cows cried, calling him in their own language while he called them, told them to come to him and he will save them from all bad things. Even though he lost all his senses, he knew his cows were in danger. One fine day when he closed his eyes with all images of his cows and memories of his all loving cows floating in front of his shut eyes he never opened them again.

The ages have been passed, time has been rolled like a roller coaster ride, but there are no cowboys like Bommayya in Kammaje. After all this years the bus stop bearing the sign on Bommayya’s existence and cows still stands in same place.

W Warrior

Posted: June 21, 2014 in STORY

Rape, Rape Rape and more Rapes. Father rapes daughter, brother rapes sister and neighbor rapes a kid who calls him uncle, boss sexually harasses secretory,… .What our crippled  and blind  folded law is doing? Sleeping like Kumbakarna till media and public forces it to open its eyes.

I threw the newspaper aside when I felt heavy weight on my head. I threw the paper not caring about the Page-order. That was unlike me who loves everything in order but today I didn’t give a rats ass about some freaking page-order of newspaper. I swore from top of my voice wondering when ancestral, out dated, expired-still in-use rules will change. Going by my country’s history where money, power speaks more loudly than justice I laughed knowing the day will never come. I was angry, I was angry on myself for not being some superwoman who saves all the women in despair and sexual harassment, super woman who punishes the bad guy by chopping his dingles with lawn trimming scissors. When I couldn’t control my anger I picked the paper weight form the table but then changed my mind the picked the crazy ball and hit the wall hard as I could ,converting all my anger in form of energy. When the freaking crazy ball came back in my direction after hitting the wall I bent backward and held the ball with my left hand.

When my husband couldn’t ignore me any longer he looked at me from his laptop screen and said “I know its bad but what you can do?you..”. Before he could finish the sentence I said “yeah that’s what the citizens of this country are thinking “What can I do?”. When they understand their capability they will realize they can change the country. Everyday minimum 10 rape cases wonder what men are thinking themselves? . How I hate these law abiding men, should burn them alive. How I wish I could do that to every single man who rapes women.….When my husband realized he made a big mistake talking to me he gave me a long you cant-do-anything look and continued with his work. When I realized I lost my audience I was frustrated, first the rape news and then my ignoring husband. I started saying alphabets in reverse order and waited, waited for him to give me attention. When he didn’t do as I expected I threw the crazy ball at him as hard as I could. He gave me “you-are-dead-meat look” and started getting up from the couch. I open the main door to our apartment wore my slippers and yelled “see, didn’t I grab your attention? That’s what we people should do”, saying that I ran outside to save my life. Its not that I was scared of my husband but its how I used to react after doing something without thinking. When I realized he didn’t follow me I waited for some time in the stair case wondering what he gonna do.  When I heard the cooker whistle for the third time I had to go inside the house no matter what. I pushed the door and peeped in when I didn’t see my husband I smiled and went inside. I locked the main door and stepped in the kitchen. When I turned off the gas my husband attacked me from behind. He pinned me to the wall and said “sometimes even over smartness is dangerous”. When my husband saw my calculative look he said “don’t forget I am your husband, not a stranger who wants to molest you”. I smiled thinking maybe I scared sweat out of him.


I packed lunch box for me and for my husband and got ready to office. My husband picked his helmet and asked “so all weapons are resting your hand bag?”. I applied coat of lipstick and said “yes honey they are all in place. You want to have a look?”. He walked towards me kissed me on my forehead and said “wonder what will happen to the unfortunate person who by mistake bumps into you?”. I kissed him on his cheek, smiled when I saw my lipstick mark on is cheek. Spreading it like a blush on his cheek I said “wait and watch”. When My husband realized what I was doing he held my hand and said “oh honey , will you stop that, everyday my boss ask me whether i apply makeup and come, today I got to know who is the culprit “. I pushed him outside the door and said hurry, we are getting late. I locked the main door and checked the weapons in my bag. When my hand felt the touch of pepper spray, chilly powder box, a knife I took a deep breath and followed my husband. I may miss my lipstick or compact but I never missed the knife and pepper spray.  Their mere presence in my bag gave me inexpressible joy and confidence.


Sitting behind my husband on his Royal Enfield I was still thinking about the news. Why rape ratio is increasing in India where goddess like Parvathi, Mother Mary, Radha are worshipped? Why punishment for rape is not severe? why politions says “why punish boys for rape?”. May be lack of punishment for rapist motivates the men to try out the crime, or may be they are sadist and want to torture a woman sexually, may be RAPE hype..

I saw a security guard near ATM and wondered whether he raped any woman in his life time?then I saw a guy in formal office wear and again I wondered whether he can be a rapist?I saw many auto drivers and cab drivers wondering same thing…I was lost in my thoughts I didn’t even realized that we reached my office. When my husband touched my leg and said “honey, don’t you want to go to office today?”. I got down from the bike and started walking without saying anything .when I realized I missed something I went back towards my waiting husband kissed him on cheek and said “ride safe”. I stood there watching him leave. With roller coaster in my head I started walking towards my office.


As my husband was busy he couldn’t pick me up way back home. I travelled by bus that day cursing my husband and his stupid work. Free falling conductors, groping men made me edgy. When I got down from bus I was like a time bomb which anytime going to blast.  I was walking on the lane when suddenly power went and street lamps died. I switched on the flash light in my phone and started walking in the empty dark lane. With my ears and eyes on road I was prepared for worst

With one hand on the pepper spray in my bag my mind was alert. I was walking with full speed when on the next turn two guys came in front of me. As it was dark their face was hidden. With one guy grabbing my left hand other held his hand over my mouth. I didn’t move, I didn’t react instead I took a deep breath to calm all my senses. Those men took a minute to realize that I am not resisting. I closed my eyes, took one more breath this time I took deeper one thinking what will be my next move. As I didn’t wanted to be the one more victim of Rape, one more assaulted female fighting for justice for years in court, one more FIR resting in peace in police register, one more public talking item, one more woman who was stamped by men I spring into action. With all the frustration boiling inside me, I aimed my leg at  the man’s  sensitive area  who was holding my mouth  and kicked it hard as if I got a penalty corner.  The painful scream from the person mouth was proof of my solid kick. I smiled sarcastically said to the other guy “Before you lose your fertility like your friend just run for your life”. The man gave me an angry look and held my hair in other hand whole time telling his friend to get up. With my free hand I took out the pepper spray and sprayed it over the man’s eyes. With his scream reaching the sky some people came to help me. Second guy was trying to run when I caught him with his collar and said “what did I tell you brother?”. To run! But you didn’t listen. Saying that I kicked the man’s center part with all my might, second penalty corner. Even Messi wouldn’t have kicked the ball like that I thought. People were thrashing them left and right. I was still trembling thinking what would have happen if they would have succeeded in their mission. My heart beat sound was  loud like tribal drum. I tried to calm and took deep breaths. When I felt better I patter my back and said to myself “Women are not week , they just need to fight back”.

People were thrashing both the guys. Both of them were bleeding and were begging them to stop beating.  While one was unconscious other was crying loudly saying “sorry, sorry, never going to do that again”. May be he will take few months to recover from his blow I thought.  I started to walk when familiar Royal Enfield stop near me. My husband looked at the crowd and then me and asked me “what happened?”. I smiled at him and said “nothing honey, two guys were teasing some lady and she taught them a lesson which they never going to forget”. My husband gave me an i-know-that-you-did smile and started the bike.




Posted: March 25, 2014 in STORY

Some LOVE stories are meant to end before even they begin

With a half awake mind, I started to walk in January’s chilly breeze. Thank god it doesn’t snow in Bangalore, I thought. Cursing myself, I waited in the BTM bus stop for the BIA12, my ride to the airport. Gratitude to BMTC for the volvo service to the airport.
I pulled the hoody over my head and thought may be a coffee could help. Rubbing my hand, I looked across the road. When I couldn’t spot a cycle chai vendor, I stood there shivering in the cold. With my laptop bag hung on my back and one hand holding the stuffed travel bag, I closed my eyes for a what you may call a quick power nap.

It must have been 15 mins when the green color bus with binging ‘BIA12′ stopped in front of me with the conductor yelling “Airport…Airport”. When I saw his energy in this chilly weather, I thought may be he had his peg in the morning instead of evening. Whatever, I pushed my hoody back, picked my bag and got into the bus. When I felt warmer in the bus, I thanked my stars. I kept my bag in the luggage space and occupied one of the four face-to face seats. I never liked those seats because two monkeys will be sitting opposite to us with their legs colliding with the other two monkeys who are facing them. And when suddenly the driver applies breaks, two monkeys facing the front yell and fall over to the monkeys facing backwards literally hugging them. I had seen this plenty of times. I had valid reasons to sit there. As I am 6’3”, sitting at the back would have been a problem so to catch up on some of my lost sleep, I felt monkeys seat will help me. After paying for the ticket I pulled the hoody over my head, put the head phones on and closed my eyes.

When I got a good response to my “6ft talls, fair complexion, IT by profession, 32 years old, Well settled in Bangalore, owns a flat, looking for educated, broad minded girl” matrimony ad I had asked my self “They like me or my assets”?. Due to my mother’s pressure I had published that ad in some matrimonial sites. As I wanted my own space, I had moved out of my parents’ house three years ago. My parents were staying with my elder bother and his wife. Its since last year that my mother started reminding of my marital status. To make her happy I had published that ad. To be honest, I never belived in arranged marriage where girls’ expectations over power guys’ expectation , they reject guys because he doesn’t have a car or a flat. I know practically these things are needed but I wanted to fall in love with somebody and marry without telling my status or bank balance. I never tried explaining my philosophy to my mother because she will never understand. My dad on the other hand said only one thing “Enjoy life as long as you are single and ready to mingle with beer you my dear”. I alwys loved my dads attitude towards life. Live life with your own terms.
Rising sun was a witness of the heavy traffic on the road. I was dozing when the bus started filling up. Most of the people use the airport bus if it comes their way. I guess they feel paying INR 20 extra is far better then getting rubbed by the conductor. When I felt it was impossible to sleep I took my iPad and started to read the morning news. Its my habit that as soon I reached office, before checking my email I read the news because it relaxes your tensed muscles before you open up your flooded inbox. As I was lost in the world of news I didn’t realise an old man with neck collar coming and sitting in front of me. As soon as his ass hit the seat he said “Can you keep your leg a bit to your side”. How I wanted to pull his neck collar and say “Can I keep it on your head?”. Casting my fake smile which I use often in front of my boss I said “Sure”. When I could no longer take that the guy was scanning me I closed my eyes. You see when a girl stares at you its a good sign but when a guy stares at you its a bad sign. Cursing the guy and adjusting my legs, I increased the volume on my iPad as the loud radio played in the bus was starting to get into my nerves. I tried to calm down and closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes in the next stop it was over crowded with office people. As the legs of the guy sitting across me were touching I felt I was being molested without my knowledge. I shut my eyes and dare not to open again.

I was almost snoring soundlessly when my phone rang. When I saw it was my friend calling, I smiled. It was his wedding in Chennai that I was going to attend. I picked the call and started talking to him. Its then that my eyes fell on this lady sitting across me. When did the old man disappear and she came? Since when has she been sittin there? And like a jackass, I was sleeping!!! With my eyes on her I could hear my heart singing some romatic hindi songs. May be it was playing a violin like in “main hun na”, I don’t know. With my head leaned on the glass window, I looked at those closed eyes which were flaunting the neatly applied eye liner I thought she must be pro to do that without spreding it. I had seen my sister in law fighting with the brush and rubbing it with tissue. With her free flowing unstraightened hair, she looked like a goddess to me. Her thick glasses were the proof of her nerdyness or excessive television watching; a question to ask for later, I thought. Rose color looked tempting on her lips. With the extra glow on them all I wanted was to taste them…….i shook my head and tried to get hold of my head. I didn’t like the direction in which it was going. The stole wrapped around her neck was hiding the rest of the view. Her hand bag was resting on her lap right across my lap. I could smell her mild perfume in the air which was tempting me to bend a bit and breathe it in. Her legs were slightly brushing against mine. I didn’t care, infact I liked it and it felt so right. How I wanted her head to rest against my chest, my fingers itched to play with her hair. I don’t know how long I sat there drinking in her beauty. There was something about the way she was sitting that captivated my heart. Its then I realised that my friend was shouting on the phone. Telling him that I’ll call him later (not atlest for the next 3 hours) I disconnected the call.

She must have sensed me staring at her because the next thing I know was that her eyes were open. I was caught off guard. Her eyes jet black like her hair. She just looked at me and when she felt I am harmless went back to sleep. I must have moved my legs because she was staring at me again. I looked at her, gave her one of my cute little smile and said “Sorry”. She just looked at me with her “Don’t you dare to do it again” look. As her eyes were open I couldn’t see her directly. But I didn’t stop watching her under my lashes. With blue jeans and printed top she looked casual but professional. When I saw the size of her handbag, I just wondered whether she was carrying any cosmetics like other fashionable women I know from office. I looked at her closed eyes again and wondered what would be her name. It must be a melodious like my name ‘Summer’ or the name of some Goddess? My phone started ringing in its usually Linkin park song again. When I looked, it was my same friend calling me again. I smiled and said hello and he started blabbering something, which didn’t make any sense to me that time but I didn’t care. I sat there with the phone in my hand listening to my friend and watching the sleeping beauty in front of me. I searched her left hand for a wedding band. When I found none I knew this was my ‘it girl’. I don’t know how long I sat there drinking her beauty, taking in all minute things. Like her star shaped earing, neatly shaped long eye brows, spectacle supported on a cute little nose and her rose colored lips. Lips which were tempting me. I shook my head and shook it hard this time. I never felt this way for any woman in my entire life. May be it was what they say “love at first sight”. Love, infatuation, I don’t know what the hell it was but all I knew was that with every passing minute, I was drowning deeper into this girl whose name I did not know. I wanted to listen to her talk, wanted to see her walking, wanted to see her smilling. I brushed my hair with my fingers, wondering whether I am loosing my mind. I cut my friend in between and said “I think I am falling in love”. My friend laughed his lungs out but when he sensed my seriousness he said “I believe you found your lady love today because till yesterday you were in good health and not infected by this love disease. I smiled and said “Yeah, right in front of me, taking a nap”. He said “most of the women look pretty and breathtaking only until their mouth is zipped and become bossy once they open their mouth. I didn’t say anything because I knew that nothing was going to change. I felt it in my bones. My friend continued “If you still want to try just give a try buddy, wish you good luck. Call me once you reach Chennai Airport.” I disconnected the call and kept it in my bag. Suddenly, without my notice, her eyelids flapped open and she gave me a hard look. Something which I couldn’t decode, so I just looked out of the glass window. With my heart pounding heavy in my chest, butterflies flying high in my stomach, goose bumps swallowing my skin, I felt my sixth senses were warning me of the upcoming storm. Slowly, I tried to look at her but when my sight collided with hers, I looked away like a kid who robbed a candy. Prettyy hot sun rays forced me to put my shades on.

The same conductor now stood next to my seat and scanned me for a while with his old specs and then looked at the lady sitting in front of me. May be he wanted to act as a warrior or impress the lady . He asked the lady “Madam, is he disturbing you” in his broken English. How I wanted to punch the guy on his big nose. The lady smiled with one of the sweetest smiles and said “No, nothing that I can’t handle. Thank you anyways”. A mischievous smile appeared on my lips and she must have sensed it. As my eyes were were masked with the shades she couldn’t see my eyes’ delight. She said “When they see a girl, men forget the world and start hitting on her, they forget their manners, their surroundings…”. I cut her in between and said “To be honest, ma’am, when they see a pretty lady sitting in front of them they can’t resist themselves. They just admire the beauty. Whats the use of the beauty which is not admired”. I was sure that she will fall for the compliment and laugh her heart out like other girls. Any tough girl would also fall for the compliments that my brother had taught me. She didn’t smile. She sat there looking at me. Finally she said “You think that I’ll fall for that?May be you guys are born with these pickup lines”. There was a twinkle in my eyes and she missed the view, thanks to my shades. I laughed capturing other passengers’ and the conductor’s attention who was now obviously jealous of me and said “May be God thought that it would be handy for the boys to live in this big world”. I was sure by now I had made her uncomfortable and at any moment she would change her seat. But at the moment even the seats were in my favour. No other seats were empty. I took it as a sign and continued looking at her. She said correcting “to flirt in this world. You guys are never happy with one; always want another”. I removed my shades and bent a little so that only she could hear and said “I still don’t have one. I am looking at her and she is looking back me; lets see whether I’ll have one by the end of the journey”. She must have sensed that I am not zesting and became serious. The blush on her cheeks were the proof. I said “I am no harm; you can realx” saying that I replaced my shades. I dont know how my legs were collodied with her. It looked intentioal but it was not. Before i could apologise,she smiled and I wondered what made her smile. She said “But I am harmful”. Saying that, she sprayed something that smelled like pepper onto my eyes.”I scremed and cursed the guy who invented the spray and cursing the gal whom I thought I almost married. Nobody came to my help as they thought it was right for me to suffer for tormenting the gal. I requested the driver to stop the bus for a while. Thank god my shades were on so the effect was not that much. I sprinkled water on my eyes and tried to ease the irritation. When the driver said he cant wait and either I had to get down from the bus or get in I got into the bus. Thinking if I get down with my temporarily damaged eyes I’ll be mobbed, I started walking like a blind man inside the bus. People were murmuring “Good thing girl taught him a lesson”, “Couldn’t he mind his own business…” I said “F***, I was minding my own business until she opend her mouth”. As my friend said “when the women open their mouth you want to run away from them”’ I sat there in some seat which people directed me to. The girl must have enjoyed my suffering, I thought. I searhed the gal from where I was seated. It didn’t take much longer to spot her with those specs of hers. She looked at me. Covering one of my eyes with a hand, I saw her looking down apologetically. Girls all are someone a minute ago and someone else the next. They do or say something and next minute you find them saying “Sorry”. Even though she sprayed that damn pepper spray on my eyes, I didn’t hate her. I loved her guts. With every passing minute I was more clear that she is the one who I am going to marry. As my eyes were burning, I closed them and tried to ease the pain. Wih my eyes closed, I could sense her watching me with concern.

I must have dozed for while because next time when I opened my eyes, the bus had stopped in the Bangalore international airport. My eyes were burning badly. I thought the girl had damaged my eyes permanently. I looked at the seat where she was sitting. She was gone. I hurried and got up from my seat so that I could catch up with her before she got into her plane. It was then that I saw this post-it slip saying “I am sorry” stuck on my bag. I smiled looking at her hand writing; very cute I thought. I picked my bag and got down from the bus. With my eyes burning with pain, heart pounding continuously, I was dying to find her. And there she was walking towards her terminal. With the hand bag hung on her shoulder and other hand pulling her trolly I thought she didn’t even give a damn. But then suddenly she stopped. Slowly she turned back and stood there watching me. Like how they show in the typical hindi movies. I thought even this can happen in reality. I was stoned to where I was standing thinking something bad will happen if I move. I felt happy because I felt I found the gal who I was going to marry, the gal who won my heart on this journey. With my ears filled with the sound of my uncontrollable heart beat, I smiled at her and waved. She smiled at me and waved back. I felt like I was the first person who visited moon at that moment. Before I could walk towards her and talk to her. She turned back and walked into the crowded terminal. I stood there trying to understand what was really happening. I hurried towards the terminal where she was standing and tried to find her. I searched every corner but couldn’t spot her. Not even 2 minutes had passed and I already started missing her.When I inhaled her familiar faded perfume I got a little bit of comfort in that crowded terminal. I stood there where she was standing two minutes back and closed my eyes One minute I felt I found her and second minute she was gone. Gone for good or bad I don’t know.

The same conductor who was staring at me in the bus walked towards me and said “Sorry sir; I didnt know you were serious or else could have helped you sir.Your love story ended before it could begin. Don’t worry sir you will find someone”. I chuckled and nodded my head pretending to be agreeing with him. How could I explain to him that I didn’t want anybody but her? How could I explain that how her image is imprinted in my mind and heart that I cant stop thinking about her? How could I explain to him that she was the girl who captivated my heart without any conditions or requirements. I waved at the conductor and started walking away with my heavy heart wondering whether some love stories are meant to end before even they begin. Passenger “Let her go” was loudly playing in my iPad and i thought what a timing.



Posted: February 21, 2014 in STORY

Again I saw the time in my watch wondering what time ill reach my pg. With the heavy traffic moving in the road, traffic constable yelling at bike riders I thought it will be late. Cursing the BBMP people who shifted the bus stop 3 miles away from the old bus stop i increased my walking speed. In the past when my back had constantly reminded me of my back pain I had traveled by auto agreeing 10rs extra on meter. After the increment in the auto price I think twice before waving at a rick. How lucky are the auto drivers I thought at least yearly hike is definite. On other hand we techies have to count the stars on the sky. If we are lucky we get some peanuts or else we have to manage with the same old lame salary. With my head filled with my own thoughts I got into bus which was forced to stop in the single. This time I thanked my dead grandparents.

When my eyes fell on the un-empty seats I thought it gone be long day. Standing in the crowded bus and guarding yourself against the pushy and touchy conductor is a challenging job. I held my bag against my chest as a barrier and prepared myself for the short journey ahead of me. Unexpected break every now and then from the driver and I wonder whether ill reach my pg or heaven. Tired people were dozing in their seat with their head phones on. If the next person dies with heart attack they wouldn’t even know. I always get weird feeling when my ears are blocked from outside world because of which my head phones were resting in my bag. As the bus stop was approaching I looked around hoping that someone will get down and Its then my eyes fell on this small gal sitting with her mother. Both were sharing the same seat. The gal, instead of sitting on her mother’s lap was sitting next to her. The way they sat was telling clearly both were uncomfortable. But they were talking giggling, un-comfort was the last thing on their mind I thought.

Head covered with red shining scarf, strand of curly hair trying to come out of the scarf, moon-shaped-henna colored nails , faded henna on those small palms, cute little eyes. That one look was enough for me to remember her forever. She reminded me of the small Muslim kids who used to go to mosque for their daily classes.  Every evening without fail accompanied by their brother, head covered with white veil with a small book in their hand they used to talk and walk in the road leading to mosque.

With her fast movements of her hands, neck and eyes I thought she may be around 7. Dressed in traditional black burqa her mother looked anything but beauty to me. With her lips scared from the paan and a small roadside rolled gold nose piercing I thought may be for a decent two times meal she has to work hard. She was trying to tell the small gal something while she was looking out of the window. Slowly the small gal turned and pulled her mother’s ear and smiled. With the million dollar smile on her face I thought nothing in the world will look prettier than this. As her mother got call she was busy talking over the phone. While she kept on pulling her mother nose, and peeping inside the veil which covered her mother’s face. When her mother didn’t give her any attention the small gal continued doing what she was doing before. I thought if I was in her mother place I would have spanked her long back for disturbing me. But her mother being blessed with lots of patience sat there  talking over the phone and bearing her daughter mild torture. When her mother disconnected the call she said “it’s your father Noorbhi, he wanted to know where we reached”.”Noorbhi” what a pretty name for pretty gal. I was sure as her name tells even she was Noor of her parents eye.

Noorbhi smiled and pulled her mother’s ears and said “so what did my ammi say han?”. Her mother went on saying while without controlling myself I bent and touched Noorbhi’s head. She was curious to know who touched her head covered with read glittery scarf. I tried to smile and make friendship but Noorbhi sat there glaring at me with her innocent eyes. She tried to pretend to listen to her mother while watching my hands clever me knowing her game I didn’t touch her instead I stood there watching her. When I saw the disappointment on her face I smiled and touched her head again. I was thinking how I can lure the Noorbhi when I remembered untouched chocolate in my bag. When my eyes fell on the Munch I wondered why people still give munch on their birthdays. Cant they just grow up and give what grownups give like gulab jamun or peda. I held the chocolate in my hand in front of Noorbhi . She looked at me and then at chocolate and then back at her ammi. Like other parents even her parents must have warned her from taking chocolate from total strangers. Even though she didn’t touch the chocolate I saw the spark in her eyes. Her ammi said “take Noorbhi”. She slowly took the chocolate from my outstretched hand and said “Thank you”. Saying welcome I touch her cheek and said a prayer in my mind “good save her from all evil eyes”. As we Superstitious Indians believe that we have to touch wood or the person to save them from bad or evil eyes. I had touched her because of my blind belief. I smiled at her again and she returned my smile.

As my stop came I said “bye, take care”. She sat there with chocolate in her hand and eyes focused on me. I was sure I am never gonna meet Noorbhi again. My eyes on Noorbhi I waited the bus to stop. As I anticipated driver was destined to send some of us back to our creator. It took me whole 15 minutes it was not me but somebody else.

.I was standing near the door closing my eyes not knowing it wont be the same when I open them again. To save the speeding bus hitting the bike, driver had applied the brakes suddenly. Result of which bus had collided with one more bus standing in front  and bus was rolled over due to the minute all were sleeping and next minute I know people screaming, crying, some were saying their god’s name.

Somebody was putting water on my face. With the blood taste in my mouth and aching ankle in knew I was still alive. This time I thanked god and try to sit. Severe pain in my back and I knew it my back is screwed totally. I stood with all my will and reaming strength I gathered my bag and broken glasses. When I realized my salwar pant was torn near the knee and was bleeding I thought my bones wont be the same again. I took few steps, when I remembered Noorbhi and her mother I looked around in search of them. People were helping the wounded one. Its then I saw a crowd and started walking towards it. Cries from the woman was heart throbbing. Slowly I made my way towards the crying woman and stood there watching her with tears in my eyes. With Noorbhi’s dead body in her arms her mother was crying, yelling, trying to wake eternally sleeping Noorbhi. Noorbhi’s blood was all over her face, body but she didn’t care. She hugged Noorbhi more closely and said “open your eyes Noorbhi, open it for your ammi. My Noor open your eyes, how I can live without you..”

When I couldn’t take it I started to walk away but before that I took a final look at lifeless Norrbhi’s body. With red glittery scarf still wrapped around her bleeding head, with one eye half closed. A faded smile or calmness I don’t know what It was on her face her final journey looked peaceful to me. I said a prayer in my mind and started to walk when I saw it. The Munch which I had given her was still there in her hand, tightly held in her feast.


Next day I read the newspaper and got to know that many were injured in the bus accident but Noorbhi was the only one who died in the mishap. As she was sitting near the window she was thrown out of the bus. The impact was so much that she died on the spot.

I looked out of the window and wondered whether it was my evil eye or it was her destiny who called her back before her time